Who puts LO to bed? And a bit of a rant...

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by Lulu_Laroo, Feb 15, 2012.

  1. Lulu_Laroo

    Lulu_Laroo Well-Known Member

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    At the moment, me and OH have a rota where one night one of us will bath Poppy, read her a story, bottle then bed, and the other will clear up after dinner and wash/dry-up, and we alternate nights.

    When my OH does the clearing up and washing up, he waits until 11pm at night to do it, and leaves Poppy's highchair with mushed food over it until 11pm. He never does it straight after dinner. It is really starting to bother me though as I end up doing it because I can't stand everything being left. I suggested that he takes Poppy to bed EVERY night and I do the clearing up, because he doesn't get to see her for long when he gets home from work. His response? "I see her at weekends." - which really shocked me :cry:
    I mean, he ADORES her, completely dotes on her, which is why it suprised me that he seems so reluctant to take her to bed every night.

    I know he works hard all day, and basically can't be bothered to do anything when he gets home, which I can understand, I know you just want to slump in front of the telly when you get home, but seriously, it's not like I do nothing all day - far from it! I constantly get the "Oh but i've been at work all day" card thrown at me which is really, really starting to piss me off. He seems to think his life can be exactly as it was before she was born.

    I think I posted something a bit similar to this a few months back :(
    But who puts LO to bed in your house? What share of the chores do you both do?
     
    #1 Lulu_Laroo, Feb 15, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2012
  2. prettypenguin

    prettypenguin Well-Known Member

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    I know how you feel i was and still am sometimes the same. I do most of the chores n sometimes put c to bed, it ususlly seems to be me that runs up to see to him when he wont settle, and oh just sits on his laptop and turns the monitor down to shut the cryibg up. Which bugs me, just cause you cant hear it doesnt mean hes not screaming his head off! But he is good sometimes, when ive had a really strezsful day he sends me to bed super early andd does everything else x
     
  3. MrsR

    MrsR Well-Known Member

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    Aw honey :hugs: xx

    I'm so lucky as DH always does the washing up and clearing up after dinner and usually puts Sebastian to bed too as he settles better for him (usually, though tonight Sebastian is jumping around his cot shouting 'mama' and singing 'twinkle twinkle'!) xx some men just don't realise that looking after a baby all day is a 24/7 job :(
     
  4. Lulu_Laroo

    Lulu_Laroo Well-Known Member

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    That's the thing, I feel bad moaning about it sometimes and I try SO hard not to be the 'nagging wife' type, because I know blokes are just wired differently to us and I definitely know that none of them like to be nagged! He is also SO good in other ways. He's been so good to me since the day I met him, he's very thoughtful and I'm very lucky to have my life. I just wish he'd lose this 1950's attitude he seems to have adopted (he never used to be as bad as this!)
     
    #4 Lulu_Laroo, Feb 15, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2012
  5. Hayley1608

    Hayley1608 Well-Known Member

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    In our house im the one that works... and the second i get through the door i take over looking after savannah for the rest of the night.

    The way i see it DH has the hardest job (lets face it as joyful and rewarding as it is... Looking after a baby for nine hours a day can be extremely stressful) so no matter how tired i am i would never ever expect to come home and sit with my feet up... Also i appreciate every second i get with lo so bathing her and feeding her and putting her to bed is the best part of my day!

    At weekends we both do our fair share of both spending time with S and house chores... Although addmitedly DH is slightly more organised housework wise than myself!

    I would have a serious word.

    x
     
  6. Belfast girl

    Belfast girl Well-Known Member

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    oh dear, my oh only ever argue about cleaning but i try not to nag either so i just get on with it. (the reason why we have a cleaner!!)

    my oh always puts her to bed, he gets in at 6.30 so will take her off me immediatly and put her to bed at 7. in the meantime i get on with dinner (he can't cook)

    weekends are shared but i do all the chores. at least he admits that its harder to look after her than work and he looks after me so much in other ways that i don't really mind that much..

    ... but don't get me started on how much he plays golf!!
     
  7. tinks77

    tinks77 Well-Known Member

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    I DO IT ALL! my OH plays with her for half hour when he gets home before we eat then I'll bath her at 7pm and put her to bed. When I'm running her bath he'll take her up and get her undressed but that's it.
     
  8. Lilelephant

    Lilelephant Well-Known Member

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    I bath O so put him to bed but OH has to do it tomorrow cos I am going out


     
  9. Hayley1608

    Hayley1608 Well-Known Member

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    ooo.. Anywhere nice?
     
  10. pringle88

    pringle88 Well-Known Member

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    It's a bit different for me because im alone but Ella's dad comes and sees her everyday for a bit afterwork..usually its only for an hour and he doesnt do anything other than sit next to her... he has prob changed 2 nappys since she has been born, never bathed her, never put her to bed and never been here when shes been up in the night so i think your OH is an angel compared haha however, i would def have a word, if you have a routine its not fair that you stick to your end of the deal whilst he slacks off knowing that if he leaves it long enough you are going to do it anyway! no way should he think that he goes to work whilst you have the easy job of staying at home because he couldnt be further from the truth, being a mum is bloody hard work and i have never felt as exhausted after a days work as i do at the end of the day with Ella! xx
     
  11. littlemiss83

    littlemiss83 Well-Known Member

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    Men tend to see child related chores as chores rather than time with baby. He wont be seeing it the same as you. Plus he's maybe thinking...whats the need to clean highchair ect if nothing is happening in house..no guests ect, when he could leave it til later, whereas us women just get on with it & get it done. Men are just wierd creatures, I find strict routines hard with my OH, basically I do all the baby things & he does all the house hold things & making dinner & sorting out older LO, he does things on his time tho. & if he is out or working, I need to do it all alone, no option. Alot of the time either eldest LO goes w/out dinner or baby lies screaming for ages.

    :roll:
     
  12. confuzed 88

    confuzed 88 Well-Known Member

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    It's always me bathing lo, feeding him, putting.him to sleep, running up to see on him Wheb he cries, nightfeeds, you name it I do it, al my hubs will do is okay with him and naked the bottles, and maybe if i really moan get up to see him at night, seriously I need a break!
     
  13. LaurenMM

    LaurenMM Well-Known Member

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    My oh works all day 10 days on 4 days off so inevitably I do all the household chores which I prefer to to be honest as you know what men are like doing half a job properly! When he comes home at 5 he'll play with her while I make dinner but we both like doing the bedtime routine with her so one of us does the washing up while the other runs her bath and he'll change her and feed her and put her down but I'm sat with them iykwim? I can't really moan about OH he was pissing me off a few weeks ago but seems to be sorted now. Luckily Angel is very good at night I can't remember her ever being difficult to settle. Oh is good at night too cuz I'm a very heavy sleeper and he usually hears her first so he'll go and warm her bottle and I'll change and feed her- oh and I are the weirdos who can have 5 hours sleep and wake up bright eyed and bushy tailed!! But u need to have a word hun it's so unfair blokes pulling the 'I work all day so I should do nothing when I get home' and we say being a mother is a full time job I think it's more like a 24/7 job! X hope you're ok x
     
  14. Hunnie

    Hunnie Well-Known Member

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    OH helps me bath her or he sits next to the bath whilst me and her are in it. Hes getting better, he then helps to dry her and get her nappy on or he will go downstairs and bring her bottle and medicine up ready for once shes out of the bath. I had a big go at him the other month and he's got a lot better since then. I understand that hes tired when he comes home from work but even if he sits with her asleep on him then it makes me life a bit easier as she is less likely to wake up and interrupt what I am doing.
     
  15. Sarah13

    Sarah13 Well-Known Member

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    My oh does nothing! I think me breast feeding really means me do everything! He works off shore so Im used to it and to be honest i feel that guilty i don't earn money I never moan at him! He will do chores if I ask but like all men i might as well do them myself, it gets done quicker and properly! And you would think when he's home he would bath him but no he's too scared in case he drops him! I do all the night stuff cos Im bf too and he will get up once a week with him if Im lucky! He thinks anything before 11 is getting up early when he's off, that winds me up, only time I used to waste my day like that was with a hangover! So you see even when your man is home 50% of the time they can still be lazy and do no chores! Oh I should add he does a couple of hours painting a day as we're re decorating the house just now but he's even dragging that out! I've told him we will swap for the day and i will paint and he can do baby stuff and chores he's up for it but seems to think he's in for an easy day!

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk
     
  16. clairebear22

    clairebear22 Well-Known Member

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    I do all of the housework because I prefer to do it, he'll mess it up! lol. I also do 99% of the childcare. OH comes home and plays with Jack while I make dinner, then he gets Jack undressed ready for his bath and will quite often play with him while he's sitting in the bath (doesn't like washing him though incase he hurts him?!) then he'll have a nice cuddle before bed, I ALWAYS put Jack to bed. I love sitting in his chair in his room all dark and cosy watching him fall asleep on his last bottle :) At the weekend he's alot more hands on, he'll play with him alot during the day but Jack's such a big Mummy's boy I sometimes have to hide in another room so they get some quality Daddy/Son time!! x
     

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