Whether or not to find out the sex

[Amanda]

I've posted this in the 2nd trimester because it's you ladies who have either just had the option of finding out the sex, or are about to.

I know it's very early for me as I don't even have my first scan until next week, but DH told me last night he would like to know the sex.

I've always said I don't want to know before the birth. I feel it's a bit like peeking at your Xmas presents before the big day. I didn't find out when I was pg with my daughter, but somehow I knew she was a girl a couple of weeks before I had her. I still however, loved the "it's a girl" bit.

Having said that, DH last night said he would like to find out. He would luurve a boy, and keeps saying that if it's a girl, it's going back in!! He said last night that he knows it's a boy because he only produces boy sperm! He also said that is why he wants his mum outside the delivery room - so that if it is a girl, he can send her in while he goes to the pub for a consulation drink or dozen!!! I got a bit put out and everytime I said that he'd better be joking, he made another silly quip. Well, hormones kicked in and I started crying thinking he wouldn't want a little girl!! He then realised what he had been doing, and apologised. He said although he would love a boy, he would be just as happy with a girl, and would love it just as much. He thought we could find out at the first scan, bless him, so assumed we would know next week. I have set him straight, but he really wants to find out the sex.

Now today, the more I'm thinking about it, the more I'm coming round to the idea. I think it is easier as it is my second child, and I don't care either way.

I just wanted to find out what you ladies thought. Did you find out? Did you want to know, and then they couldn't tell? Do you regret finding out, or not finding out as the case may be?

 

[Skidoo]

I had CSV so they could tell me for sure and I asked to know. Although I told everyone I didn't care so long as it had the right number of limbs and chromosomes, secretly I really wanted a girl and wanted to be prepared for a boy. It's been lovely knowing that I am definitely going to have a girl and being able to think of 'her' and not 'it'.[/b]

 

[Anna Marie]

Ah Tankett.. yeah men can be a bit insensitive.. I know my OH really wants a boy.. maybe all men secretly hope for a son and heir..?

I definitely want to know and will find out if I can. Mainly because I am a control freak [as my OH calls me] and have no patience whatsoever!!!!!!

I think I want to be prepared - I have no preference at all at this stage. If I am able to find out I may not tell anyone in our families but I want to know and OH has just accepted that I will get my way whether he likes it or not.

 

[Dee1985]

im all for finding out!!!!

i didnt find out with Dior and it was like i waited from finding out i was preg to giving birth to no the sex.. but when u give birth and see ya baby u r sooooo happy and excited the sex dont bother u. i forgot to ask what Dior was

so i think if u find out at the 20week scan it gets the excitment going.

as u just get fed up being preg but half way through finding out the sex is better i found out with this baby

and will give u a date to look forward to rather then the birth that seems so far away x

 

[rach]

i was desperate to find out was really hoping for a girl and thought id be upset when i found out i was having another boy but its so great to know what your having as you can stop buying boring white clothes and start buying pink or blue the out fits ive bought for my little boy from asda are lovely im well over the moon at finding out xxxxxxxxx

 

[Amanda]

Thanks for your replies ladies. It all seems really positive so far.

Has anyone got any negative thoughts/experiences?

Also - Rach, did you find out the sex of your son beforehand? I'm just interested to know if it is a second child thing as neither myself or Dionne did with the first either.

 

[rach]

no tankett hun when i had my son our hospital would not tell you on your first child only if it was your second etc i didnt give it much thought either i wasnt bothered either way i think on your second child as youve done it all before u need that extra bit of excitement and finding out what the sex is can give you that xxxx

 

[Amanda]

Interesting Rach. To be honest, I can't remember if the hospital ever gave me the option of finding out the sex, but I didn't want to know anyway.

I really think I'm coming round to the idea of finding out with this one. I've still got about 10 weeks to decide, so I may change my mind again!

 

[stephlw25]

I found out the sex too, i just couldnt wait!!

I can see why people dont find out...its exciting when the midwife says........"its a......." Also the ringing up of family and friends and saying "ive had a......" instead of saying "ive had the baby"

When i was working and i told a patient that i was pregnant she said " aw what are you hoping for"
i said "oh i know its a boy" she just frowned and said "why did you find out? thats not fun...people will just say oh stephs had the baby instead of saying stephs had a little boy! "

So that made me feel a bit bad but i dont regret finding out, its been so much easier with decorating and planning what to buy etc!

I did consider next time having a surprize but i know that if the sonographer says " do you want to know the sex " ?? ill be bursting to know! So we might find out for ourselves but keep it a secret from our family and friends and just pretend that we dont know!!

My nextdoor neighbour did that, she just had a boy and as she already has a girl i said she must be delighted to now have one of each, and she said well actually we found out at the 20 week scan but didnt tell anyone!!!

Oh god sorry ive waffled on again!!!!!

Go for it find out!!!!! LOL

Steph x

 

[Lindsay]

Hi Tankett

I wanted to find out the sex of the baby but my DH didn't want to find out - I am a bit like Anna-Marie and like to know everything, lol!!!! At the scan the sonographer asked if we wanted to find out and we said no, but I asked her if we had wanted to know would she have been able to tell us, at the end of the scan she said that she would have been able to say what she thought it was, I was desperate to say, go on then tell us but I didn't!!!! I am pleased now that I don't know, will give me something to focus on during labour (which I am dreading!!!!)

My DH wants a boy too and he keeps referring to the baby as he/him and I have to keep reminding him that it could be girl. He says that it is because it sounds better than saying, 'it' which it does but I do worry that he will be disappointed if it's a girl. He says that he would be too protective over a little girl.

My Dh has told me to give birth on a Saturday as that's the best night to go out with the lads to wet the babies head, charming eh?!!!!!

Xxx

 

[Eveadel]

Im not quite there yet to find out but I have already decided I am finding out.

I am an organised person and it would just worry me to bits if I didnt know what sex my baby was. I cant wait to buy clothes to suit the sex of my baby, bedroom furniture even down to the colour of my pram, changing bags, etc.

I know some people say that it takes away the surprise but it will not take away the excitement and love you will feel for that baby when it is born just because you know what sex it is.

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

i wish i could hav found the sex but my hospital does now allow it, i had a STRONG braydon was a boy then at 40 weeks my GP told me he was 99% sure it was a boy then in labour the MW sed she was sure i was having a boy now i have got a little monky lol

and my head was all over the place wen they sed it was a boy i didnt hear i asked my mum 5 mins after giving birth lol

 

[Bagpuss17]

We don't want to find out, we're both looking forward to the surprise at the end of all that hard work giving birth to him/her.

Whatever you decide, just make sure it's right for both of you and not just your partner.

Good luck with your scan next week too.

 

[Rachel]

Hi,

I wanted to know the sex from the start but then found out the hospital wouldnt tell you. But yesterday i was told im having a little boy For me finding out the sex has made it more exciting.

Good luck with your scan next week.

Rachel xx

 

[hayley]

we don't want to find out either.... DH has 3 sons and keeps saying her produces boy sperm... but things can change! he's love a little girl this time around... i'd love a daughter too but at the end of the day we both want a healthy happy baby... the sex wont matter!

The MD said that women don't push as hard when they know what they are having... don't know if it was a little white lie... i've got my 2nd scan booked for 14th March... we're not going to ask!

But hay Tankett you might still get one of each

x

 

[*sam*]

Hello Tankett!

We both desparately want to know what it is, I really can't wait!

OH wants a boy aswell, I think all men want a son they can take to football and in my case "make him become a rock star!"

He said he really wouldn't be bothered either way, as long as it's healthy and happy (and sleeps all through the night!!!)

I'm not bothered what it is, but I want to know so I can buy stuff in the right colour and cute little outfits etc.
OOOOO I'm all excited now!

xx

 

[ree77]

We couldn't wait to find out the sex. DH so wanted to have a little girl again, he remembers what he was like when he was a child and he didn't want to put us through what he put his parents through!! lol So we have no regrets finding out that we were having a girl, besides I think it helps with the preperation of your little bundle of joy and even tho you know the sex the day of delivery is still like x-mas morning!!!

xoxo Ree

 

[kellysomer]

I had my heart set on not finding out (OH didnt mind either way) but when we got to the scan i thought i could see a willy and the temptation got the better of me! Turns out its a girl and it was the cord i could see! What a wally!

I dont feel any different at all having found out as the midwife will still call out its a girl and anyway they get these things wrong an awful lot. Last week my midwife was telling me that a lady had had a little boy and she was told she definatly was having a girl! We will still be waiting for the 'its a .....' the same as if we hadnt found out.

Our nursery is citrus coloured so it doesnt matter there and although most of the clothes we have bought are girls i am still taking a boys outfit just in case!

I am glad i found out but by the same token it hasnt changed much anyway. I really dont care about the sex as long as theyre ok, i just couldnt help myself when i thought i saw a willy!!!

 

[nicki]

Hiya,

My MIL told me the other day of someone she knows who got told she was having a boy and out popped a girl! so I guess nothings guaranteed anyway.

I wanted to find out and DH didn't, he wanted a surprise & thought it would be all magical to find out on the day but I argued that its a bit different for him as he's not the one who's got to do it all! I also really wanted a daughter and wanted to know if we were having boy because I didn't want to go through labour then be disappointed.

I have to say though that finding out we are having a boy has made it seem more real and I instantly bonded with him as soon as I knew & felt so protective straight away, it was werid. I like being able to call him a him too & not an it.

Like the others have said it's nice being able to buy blue clothes instead of boring white!
I'm still glad I found out.

Nicki.

 

[Amanda]

Thanks Everyone.

After having the scan yesterday, we've now decided that we are definitely going to find out the sex (if we can see it!).

Luckily, I'm on a voluntary caffeine study so I'll get extra scans at 28 and 36 weeks. So even if LO is hiding in the 20 weeks scan, shopefully we'll manage to get something at one of the other 2!!