Where have I gone wrong? Bad Mum? at my wits end :'(

[Princess_Puddles]

I really don't feel like I love Harrison as much as I should do. It just seems that from the minute he gets up to the minute he goes to bed I'm telling him off, tapping his hands, moving him away from things, taking this away from him he shouldn't have I know he's only 17 months old but he's pretty intelligent, puts his trousers on and his shoes, he can say cat, hello, bye he even waves when he says it and plenty of other things but yet he hasn't got the jist of NO the one word I say to him about 100000000000000000000 times a day It's really getting me down and I really don't look forward to spending time with him anymore. I cannot do any housework whilst he's awake because he doesn't like the sound of the hoover, will follow me around constantly touching things, If I tell him off he will hit me, throw things at me, shout at me, bite me or just throw himself on the floor and scream! He has so many toys yet he won't play with them for more than 5 mins in a day. I used to put him in his cot with toys whilst I done things around the flat but he cries the whole time and gets himself in a right state, we brought a stairgate to put on his bedroom door so I could put him in there to play but no he stands at the gate screaming I'm at my wits end with him, I don't know what to do anymore, I get to a point sometimes in the day where I just want to leave him in his room I don't but I need sometime to myself or to do things in the house. Ive tried speaking to my OH but he has ago at me. I miss my little baby boy i'm lucky if I get 2/3 cuddles from him anymore, I get hit, kicked and shouted at more. He's asleep now and get the rush of love just looking at him, all I want to do is kiss and cuddle him but then I know once he's awake he turns into a devil I look forward to the days hes at nursery so I can get a break
Is it me? where have I gone wrong? am I really a bad Mum? cause I feel like one

I'm sorry ladies but I have no where else to turn, I constantly get my Mum having ago at me cause he's just a baby and doesn't understand but really I think he does understand but maybe its my fault he's like this

 

[clairescunny55]

aww hun you're not a bad mum, Harrison is just growing up and by doing all these things he is learning so much about himself, and about you. Could you not let a relative or a friend look after him for a bit, just so you can have some 'me' time, or even just get some work done? I know what you mean about the hoover, millie and ryan hate it! but it really frustrates me that i cant get on with it! If i see a job that needs doing, it has to be done right now, iykwim.

 

[Jo]

you are not a bad mum and how he is acting is not your fault
It is all perfectly normal

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

I hate too tell you, but HE DOES UNDERSTAND!

You are not a bad mum at all, just a stressed one. I'm lucky with mine, but he knows when he has hurt me the best thing you can do he show him that he as hurt you by crying I have even resulted in biting him back, he then cries and says hurt tha I point out where he bit me and say you hurt mummy, he soon got the hint and a result of a cuddle. If you need too leave him in his room so long has he is safe. If he knows he is stressing you he will milk it! Sorry if I sound hard, but it only took me doing it a few times, sounds like it will take you longer.

Whats your Health visitor like? Mine gave me some great advice.

 

[beanie]

hugs hun, if you are a bad mum then so am I and countless others. Like others have said this is a normal stage, he is testing the boundaries. Just keep being consistent and he will get through this but I really sympathise with how tough it is. Seren has hit me and bit me today, and I am sick of the sound of my voice saying "Seren, no". I try and ignore any bad behaviour (if it is safe to do so) and praise her when she is playing nicely as I think at the mo she is just wanting attention even negative attention. You will find something that works for you, but in the meantime try not to stress out about the housework etc - though I found that getting Seren involved in it (giving her a duster or a little brush so she could join in) meant I got stuff done.

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

Bray used to be totally the same and still is at times iit depends on his moods i think its just a phase hun
u are not a bad mum ur a brilliant mum and harrison is just being a typical male, i mean wot males like house work lol

 

[Minxy]

You are SO normal.

You just described Stanley! And me......
Sometimes I worry I love him best when he's asleep

Have these It sometimes seems thankless but when our lovely well-adjusted, handsome grown-up men make us proud we'll remember it all with a rosy glow I'm sure xxxx

 

[SarahH]

I will give you a row on MSN for that rubbish you just wrote!!

You are a fab mum!! You just have a toddler - and it is normal!

 

[Princess_Puddles]

Thank you guys. Your replies are really appreciated and have made me feel a bit better knowing that it is normal I just suppose I need to take a different approach & try to deal with it, cause at the moment i'm just egtting stressed and upset

Thank you

 

[Melly+2]

your in the same situation as me, Hope touches everything that she cant have and just laughs at me when i tell her off, dont worry ur not a bad mum x

 

[Babylicious]

I remember when Paris was like it, she used to look at me and laugh then touch stuff she wasn't supposed to. I used to put her in her play pen and let her cry for a while to get things done, she soon settled down

 

[Strangeness]

Aaron is still the same I hate to say! Not always as bad but the past few days he has been a devil at times and I am constantly saying no. Now he can answer back it makes it even more frustrating! Yesterday he headbutted me whilst having a tantrum in tesco and it really hurt, I had to hold my temper so hard but I was just really firm and he could tell by my face that I was not happy at all and he calmed down! Sometimes they know they are winding you up and can get away with it but other times they know they have over stepped the mark just by your face.

The best approach is distraction but it's hard to not confront the situation at times. You're a brill mum, they'll grow out of it in the end!

 

[Lou]

I don't think you're a bad mum but I do think you should be more patient and remember that he is only little still. Toddlers are naughty and do need to be taught right and wrong but I think you get out what you put in with kids and if they are constantly being told off then you can't expect them to be happy little angels. I mean seriously kids aren't just going to sit and play all day while we do housework, they want to be with us and touching things and helping. You just have to turn everything into a game and let them help, move things they aren't allowed to touch out of reach and just be patient. I am the most impatient person in the world and I used to lose my temper with Isaac but I really hate telling him off so I am making a conscience effort to be kind to him and only tell him off when absolutely necessary.

 

[Xena]

You're totally normal hun. I'm at my wits end with Lydia. It feels like literally ALL day every day all I ever do is scream at her.
It's difficult when they're toddlers, it really is. It doesn't mean you don't love them, it's just hard that's all. I know I love Lydia soooooo much, but some days I could happily just chuck her out of the window (okay not quite but you know what I mean lol). I've caught myself many times wishing I could just give her to somebody for a week or so just so I can have a rest.
I look at her baby pictures sometimes and wish she was my sweet cuddly little baby again.
Other days she can be a perfect angel but it never ever lasts.
I'm totally sure it'll get easier - toddler behaviour doesn't last forever. Just know you're not alone in this - we all just have to persevere with our misbehaving little monkeys

 

[farls]

you are not alone, im sure my son thinks his name is mark no......

 

[emma28]

I remember Jonah being like that too.

I just had to realise that all the time he is awake is 'his' time. I got round it by letting him help. They think they are so clever and important (of course they are) when they can help. He used to love putting the powder in the machine, and rolling up the mat so I could hoover. When he stopped being scared of it he used to push it round with me too.

It does make it last all day, but I'm sure you'd rather spend 20 peaceful happy minutes putting a load of washing on than 5mins shouting and being harrassed.

I still have to let him help to get anything done, but now he will peel the potatoes and chop mushrooms etc, so he actually is a help, allbeit a messy one He can even put the washing in on his own now, powder and all..he puts the kettle on too. In fact, I have a child slave

Honestly hun, consider it all training

 

[Rubys mummy]

I have been feeling the same lately, Ruby is starting to throw tantrums and whines alot at the mo...she wont go to OH and only wants me, she clings to my leg and its very very hard..I have been in tears daily a I am exhausted and its so hard working full time and trying to deal with an increasingly active toddler...

My heart does swell with pride when I look at her, she is growing into an intelligent beautiful little girl and I adore her but its so hard sometimes and what you feel is so normal.

I always had tons of patience but at the mo I have no patience at all with anyone and I am sooo snappy but one smile from Rubes and she does melt my heart

 

[Princess_Puddles]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply and for all of you lovely advice and comforting words!!
As advised I let Harrison help me put the washing out this afternoon, although he didnt do it right I still let him help but he decided he'd throw a tantrum and pull it all off and chuck it everywhere after

I picked him up from nursery and he decided he wouldnt hold my hand, he literally threw himself on the floor because I was trying to hold his hand, he then ran away from me and fell off the kirb into the road I was running after him but It was peeing down with rain & was also trying to carry all the stuff he got from nursery so I couldn't catch him quick enough!

He keeps running away all the time, luckily enough its been indoors most of the time or at my Mums, and today was the first (and last) time he'd done it outside but Im so worried he's got get hurt one day. I got him out the bath earlier and before I had a chance to put his towel on him he ran into my bedroom and slip over backwards on the floor

Anyways I suppose this was a bit of a pointless post

 

[Tina & Gabs]

Awww hun I am sorry you are having such a bad time.

Have you tried reins for when you are outside??

 

[emma28]

Bless you

It will get better