My daughter's dad and I split 3 years ago, been through court more times than I'd like to remember. His contact is in a contact centre as he doesn't wish for myself or my partner to supervise and vise visa because of how controlling etc he is.
Anyway today I've turned up early to contact, and warned them that last night when I told my daughter she was having contact today she freaked out and wouldn't stop crying, and that she did the same this morning. She kept telling me she didn't want to see him and wanted stay with her brother.
Anyway I'd not long got her on the toilet so she wouldn't need go first thing as it wouldn't be fair the first few minutes her been on the loo. I leave the room only to here my ex saying 'Yeah, looks like she is scared of me' at that point took a great deal of strength to stop myself going in to the hall where he was and yelling that he isn't there so he wouldn't know, unlike my health visitor who's seen her reactions.
After contact started at 2pm I sat talking to other mums only for at 2.15 have a member of staff say to me, that she was in the bathroom and she'd wet herself and had I got any spares on me. Now I was thinking right she'd done a dribble sort of thing. So I go with the contact staff to where my daughter is.
I open the door to find my nearly 4 year old lying on a baby changing mat with No clothes on at all, her clothes soaking wet and her crying. I ask what has happened as I'm cleaning her up. they told me that she told my ex she needed the toilet when she first got into the hall with him, and he only then took her the loo when he noticed she was damp inbetween her legs.
Right now will mention the staff had seen and heard all this yet did nothing. He is not meant to be left alone with her whilst she goes loo, as she has come home a few times with marks across her. Yet they let him. And they also let him treat her more like a baby than a toddler. (who is fully dry at night, and doesn't have any accidents when she is with anyone else including my 11 niece).
They then went on to say that he has said I have to go home to get spare clothes to bring back so contact can carry on, to which I refused due to the distance cost and the fact it should never of happened in the first place.
then they said they'd just put the wet clothes that were soaked back on her, again to which I refused. Instead I tell them, I'm leaving with her once I ring a taxi, I take off my hoody and zip it around her so she is at least wearing something as she said she was getting cold by this point. All this time my ex is in another room as he can't face me...wonder why!
The staff kept saying I couldn't leave with her and that I should just put the wet clothes back on her and that she'd be fine, all this time knowing full well they didn't do there job right by looking after her or getting her on the loo themselves.
I am reporting the contact centre for neglecting there duties to my daughter and Me.
Am I the only one who thinks it is disgusting them asking/telling me to put her wet clothes back on her?
I am fuming here and stressing as court is in less than a week and my stress levels are sky high.
I have my family saying to me, 'be the bigger person' 'you shouldn't of left now you look bad' etc... I have been the bigger person since giving birth within her first few hours at home all he said was 'shut that fucking baby up' and needless to say SS were involved due to him to the point I nearly lost her...I fought and won only by leaving him and sorting myself out...he did nothing and still doesn't.
I just need I guess some help to know if I am doing the right thing by my daughter as I dont want her to hate me when she is older and at the same time I don't want him anywhere near her....
thanks for reading the essay if you did x x x
Anyway today I've turned up early to contact, and warned them that last night when I told my daughter she was having contact today she freaked out and wouldn't stop crying, and that she did the same this morning. She kept telling me she didn't want to see him and wanted stay with her brother.
Anyway I'd not long got her on the toilet so she wouldn't need go first thing as it wouldn't be fair the first few minutes her been on the loo. I leave the room only to here my ex saying 'Yeah, looks like she is scared of me' at that point took a great deal of strength to stop myself going in to the hall where he was and yelling that he isn't there so he wouldn't know, unlike my health visitor who's seen her reactions.
After contact started at 2pm I sat talking to other mums only for at 2.15 have a member of staff say to me, that she was in the bathroom and she'd wet herself and had I got any spares on me. Now I was thinking right she'd done a dribble sort of thing. So I go with the contact staff to where my daughter is.
I open the door to find my nearly 4 year old lying on a baby changing mat with No clothes on at all, her clothes soaking wet and her crying. I ask what has happened as I'm cleaning her up. they told me that she told my ex she needed the toilet when she first got into the hall with him, and he only then took her the loo when he noticed she was damp inbetween her legs.
Right now will mention the staff had seen and heard all this yet did nothing. He is not meant to be left alone with her whilst she goes loo, as she has come home a few times with marks across her. Yet they let him. And they also let him treat her more like a baby than a toddler. (who is fully dry at night, and doesn't have any accidents when she is with anyone else including my 11 niece).
They then went on to say that he has said I have to go home to get spare clothes to bring back so contact can carry on, to which I refused due to the distance cost and the fact it should never of happened in the first place.
then they said they'd just put the wet clothes that were soaked back on her, again to which I refused. Instead I tell them, I'm leaving with her once I ring a taxi, I take off my hoody and zip it around her so she is at least wearing something as she said she was getting cold by this point. All this time my ex is in another room as he can't face me...wonder why!
The staff kept saying I couldn't leave with her and that I should just put the wet clothes back on her and that she'd be fine, all this time knowing full well they didn't do there job right by looking after her or getting her on the loo themselves.
I am reporting the contact centre for neglecting there duties to my daughter and Me.
Am I the only one who thinks it is disgusting them asking/telling me to put her wet clothes back on her?
I am fuming here and stressing as court is in less than a week and my stress levels are sky high.
I have my family saying to me, 'be the bigger person' 'you shouldn't of left now you look bad' etc... I have been the bigger person since giving birth within her first few hours at home all he said was 'shut that fucking baby up' and needless to say SS were involved due to him to the point I nearly lost her...I fought and won only by leaving him and sorting myself out...he did nothing and still doesn't.
I just need I guess some help to know if I am doing the right thing by my daughter as I dont want her to hate me when she is older and at the same time I don't want him anywhere near her....
thanks for reading the essay if you did x x x
