When to tell daughter

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Mummy86, Sep 23, 2016.

  1. Mummy86

    Mummy86 New Member

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    Hi, I have a 4 year old daughter and have just found out I'm 5 weeks pregnant it's been a long road of 2.5 years ttc so excited to share our news! I really want to tell me daughter before other family members as don't want everyone to know before her, she will be so excited about being a big sister! I'm thinking about telling her when I'm about 8 weeks, when have others told there other children?
    Thank you
     
  2. becsybabe

    becsybabe Well-Known Member

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    I'm 7w3d I have three boys already I'm not telling them or anyone until 12 weeks with my scan pic I think it will be more real actually seeing the baby pic :) xx
     
  3. V1ck1

    V1ck1 Well-Known Member

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    Hi I have a daughter who is 4....I'm 5 weeks pregnant I won't be telling her til I have my scan ....had a missed miscarriage not so long ago had an earlier scan at 7 weeks...then had a missed miscarriage at 12weeks before my 12week scan .....that's my personal choice tho do whatever is best for you xxxx
     
    #3 V1ck1, Sep 23, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2016
  4. Mummy86

    Mummy86 New Member

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    Thank you for your replies ladies and sorry for your losses v1ck1. The 12 week mark just seems so far away and keeping it such a secret makes it not so real if that makes any sense, maybe see how the week pan out.
    Thanks again great to hear what others have done! Xx
     
  5. becsybabe

    becsybabe Well-Known Member

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    It really is each to their own. I think when a loss has been had it makes us a lot more worried about telling people. I had an early scan last week due to a ruptured ectopic last year so needed to check baby was in the right spot (which it is ) and I wanted to shout it from the roof tops but my boys are 12, 11 and 8 so want to wait just to be on the safe side :) you will know when the time is right :) xx
     
  6. Piglet's Mama

    Piglet's Mama Well-Known Member

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    My 5yo daughter would run in to school and tell everyone! Waiting for our scan x


     
  7. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

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    I'm 7+1 today.

    I can't wait to tell my son he's going to be a big brother (he's 4 years old) But as my last three pregnancies have ended in miscarriage, we won't be telling him until after our 12 week scan- if we get that far!

    It's a personal choice though hun. You can tell whoever whenever.

    XX
     
  8. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    Hi i would wait till my scar. Its still early and i hope nothing would go wrong but you just never know. I would wait till then amd show the photo also. I think it would make it more real. I know its hard to keep it a secret when your so happy but if it did go wrong then how would you tell her? I know its never 100% safe my friend recently had her 20 week scan and baby had died. She told her daughter at 15 weeks and said reying to explain where the baby had gone was really tough.
    Though it your choice and im sure what ever you decide is best for you. All the best with your pregnancy x
     
    #8 Blueclass, Sep 23, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 23, 2016
  9. sammh18

    sammh18 Well-Known Member

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    We waited until I had an early scan to tell our 2 year old daughter and even now if some one asks her if mammys having a baby she corrects them and says bike �� Her dad races bikes so currently she is bike mad. But it's up to you when you tell her we told her after scan at 8 weeks x
     
  10. RainbowMoon1

    RainbowMoon1 Active Member

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    Hi, I think you can tell her before your scan if you wish. We told our 8 year old daughter at 6 weeks - my dh wanted her to know first before we told family. At first I was worried that it was too early and what if anything happened. But, if the worst did happen, there would have been no way of hiding my upset, so she would've known something was wrong.

    Her initial reaction wasn't the best, but she soon came round - we made it clear it was a very long time away, her birthday is early March and we're due in April, so we said it would be Christmas, then her birthday, then baby.

    Just be prepared that your little one may either react badly or not at all to the news straightaway.

    Congratulations btw, let us know how it goes :)
     
  11. nikkix86

    nikkix86 Well-Known Member

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    I've got a 4 and 8 year old. I have told them mainly because they like to jump all over me and my 4 year old still likes to be carried. if anything bad happens I will think of a way to explain it to them
     
  12. KateK

    KateK Well-Known Member

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    My sensible head says to wait but I told my daughter the day I had my positive pregnancy test (she's 4.) I knew how excited she would be and there was no way I was keeping it in.. I did have a sudden panic over what i'd say if something happened but I just couldn't not tell her.. Do what feels right for you xx
     
  13. Nic_M

    Nic_M Well-Known Member

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    I told my 5yo when I was 8 weeks after I had an early scan and had seen the baby. He was so excited and I took him with me to my 12 week scan which he loved and made him really feel a part of everything. He's coming to my 30 week on Monday too
     
    #13 Nic_M, Sep 24, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 24, 2016
  14. Mummy86

    Mummy86 New Member

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    Thank you all for your experiences, it's a big thing for me not to tell the rest of the family before I tell my daughter, but also desprite to tell my mum! and yes I am a little wary about it being before 12 weeks but at the same time sonething could go wrong after, and would love her to come to the scan. I just know she will be so excited to be a big sister! Think I'll give it a few more weeks and see how things go and how we feel, thanks again xx
     
  15. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    I think a lot depends on if you would tell her what had happened if you did have a loss. We didn't hide pregnancy from DD when I got pregnant last time and she was 2.5 but she was a bit too young to really get it all anyway. We lost the baby at 10 weeks. We never really explained it to her because she was too young to have understood my being pregnant in the first place but we do talk about the MC in front of her sometimes because I don't want her to grow up with it being a taboo subject. I also feel its important to me that the baby we lost is still a part of our family.

    This time she was 3 and we held off telling her because I hadn't really decide yet when to tell her yet plus she would have told everyone else too. In the end I got super sick with HG starting from 6 weeks and we had to start telling everyone. Family ended up explaining to her why I wasn't well when they were looking after her one day (I don't think they realised we hadn't said to her yet). I regretted not having told her ourselves but was too sick too think about it too much!
     
    #15 BunnyN, Sep 25, 2016
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2016
  16. xjdx

    xjdx Well-Known Member

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    I'm going to see if we can get away with it until Christmas and tell them then xx
     
  17. Miasmum

    Miasmum Well-Known Member

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    I am dying to tell my 5yo DD. She would be so excited to know, but she would also tell everyone and I am not ready for family and friends to know yet. I had a MC at 5+2weeks in July. DD is very sensitive and wouldn't have taken the news lightly, so we are going to wait to tell her until after the 12 week scan. We are planning a big reveal for her, though.
     

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