When did you tell people?!

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Blueflower, May 9, 2016.

  1. Blueflower

    Blueflower Well-Known Member

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    My DH is being really cautious and wants to wait to see if we get to the 13 week scan, I couldn't help telling my sister, best friend & a couple of people at work, mainly as they had been with me whilst waiting for news about whether our donor had enough eggs to share or not, it was so tense! I think if you have treatment then just getting a BFP is cause for celebration!

    Someone told me that people don't wait 13 weeks any more and most people tell after the early scan. What do people think?
     
  2. KeelyT90

    KeelyT90 Well-Known Member

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    I am waiting until after my 12 week dating scan, not straight away though. I want to have the results from my combined test back first before I do announce. We have told close relatives only such as, my parents & other halfs mum & brother x
     
  3. Emily0505

    Emily0505 Well-Known Member

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    There's no rules hub, it's your pregnancy your baby so you tell who you want when you want.

    The thing to consider is that if, God forbid, the unthinkable was to happen, would you be comfortable with these people knowing you'd had a loss?

    Telling people won't jinx things though, so it really is up to you who you tell and when.

    I have been so excited with all of my pregnancies that I've struggled to keep it a secret! Lol! However, I an a very open person and not at all worried about telling people about my mcs so that wasn't ever an issue for me.

    XX
     
  4. louise2610

    louise2610 Well-Known Member

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    We had an early scan at 7+2 but decided to wait till after the 12 week scan & the blood test results for chromosome abnormalities before we told people. I guess as the first 12 weeks are such a scary time & when most miscarriages occur. But this is just my personal opinion. Xxx
     
  5. louise2610

    louise2610 Well-Known Member

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    How far along are you blueflower?
     
  6. Tonks82

    Tonks82 Well-Known Member

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    I'm very open about my miscarriages so to me telling people early never really bothered me. With my son I told everyone from 5 weeks everyone except work as I hadn't been there long so I was scared to tell them.

    Before my last miscarriage I obv told mine and husbands immediate family and I told a few friends. The only thing was when I had the mc the last thing I wanted to do was text everyone telling them I'd lost it. It made me cry even more!
    This time I have been more cautious only because I don't want to jinx it. We've told family, me a few close friends and my boss as she was supportive through my last mc. If I saw a friend though and they asked me for an update on conceiving I wouldn't lie, I can't lie!

    Xx


     
  7. Blueflower

    Blueflower Well-Known Member

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    I have told my sister, best friend and a couple of people at work because they know the situation and I would want their support if anything awful happened. But that's a good point about having to update people if it did go wrong. They are all sworn to secrecy though! I agree with my DH about waiting till 13 weeks to tell our families as they will be so overjoyed and will talk about nothing else! Its safer to wait as they will want constant updates too!

    I am only 5 weeks & have a scan in 2 weeks so will try not to tell anyone else and then see how we feel after that!
     
  8. MelC2011

    MelC2011 Well-Known Member

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    We only told close family and friends who were aware of our journey beforehand oh and my manager too.

    Everyone else we waitied until past 14 weeks as we wanted to wait until we'd had all our chromosome testing first.

    Only you can decide what's best for you and OH xx
     
  9. scn

    scn Well-Known Member

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    I told a close friend and my manager after my early scan at 7+3 then no one else until 20 week scan!
     
  10. Jasmine111

    Jasmine111 Well-Known Member

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    I told my aunt after my early scan at 8w as she knew we were going through ivf, we didn't tell anyone else until after the 12w scan xx
     
  11. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    First time round I told at 6w. And had a loss so decided to wait until after our 13w scan as I was terrified. I told work early so I could take it down a notch but I only told them after my early scan.

    Tbf it feels like it's flew in as by the time you tell people after the scan your already 3 months gone.

    xxxxx
     
  12. FBTTN8079

    FBTTN8079 Well-Known Member

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    We've told our parents as they knew about our IVF & then will have to tell our brothers & sisters at around the 8 week mark as we are all going away and they will know as soon as I refuse the copious amounts of French wine & cheese but then it will be after our 12 week scan for everyone else. X
     
  13. Blueflower

    Blueflower Well-Known Member

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    Haha refusing wine and soft cheese would be a dead giveaway! 2 of my faves!
     
  14. FBTTN8079

    FBTTN8079 Well-Known Member

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    Lol exactly ! im going to take a nice block of cheddar over with me ;-)
     
  15. Selina13

    Selina13 Well-Known Member

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    Due to us having losses before my little boy my hubby thinks we should wait to tell everyone (including parents) until 12wk scan. I don't agree with this view, I want to tell people who would be there to support me if I was to have another mc like my mum, and 2 best friends.
    I am going to tell 2 friends this week so I do have some support either way. He feels it would cause heartache to my mum in particular and have her worry until the 12wk mark- as a mother myself I would want to know!
    He has said to do what I want but think I might wait to tell my mum. It might be a nice surprise to tell her when we know for certain that all is ok and she can be properly excited.

    It's a difficult one because I want to shout it from the rooftops!! lol! Xx
     
  16. Blueflower

    Blueflower Well-Known Member

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    That makes sense to tell a few people you are close to and need support from but not tell people generally. I am closer to my friends than my mum anyway. My dad knows we had IVF but won't expect to know the result yet!

    I am a bit cross because when I rang up my sister, my nephew shouted out "congratulations!" She was apparently so excited to get my message that she couldn't keep quiet! She was always like that as a child, telling people what they had for Christmas ha ha! She said on no account will she tell our parents and her son never speaks to them on the phone anyway (they live overseas) but its not ideal! DH will kill me for telling her if he finds out! And what if my nephew tells his aunties and they put it on Facebook?!!! :eh:
     
  17. Blueflower

    Blueflower Well-Known Member

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    Goats cheese is ok apparently, plus feta and mozzarella as long as they are pasturised. And any hard cheeses, I like Double Gloucester, Applewood & Cheshire too! I bet the French don't do decent non alcoholic wine either!
     

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