WHAT????????

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by newbump, Jul 19, 2005.

  1. newbump

    newbump Well-Known Member

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    Hi,

    I have a very open mind when it comes to fathers and babies, i hope i dont say anything that offends you, if i do i apologise now!

    Although he has been an arse for quite some months, he is still the father of your baby and still has a right to know his child, same as your child has a right to know who its father is, if they decide they dont like the man who is their father then its their choice to stop contact, ( i know i would have hated not knowing who my father is) I would not want my child asking me why they cant see their daddy!!

    Men handle this kind of news very differently and asking for a DNA test sounds like a defence barrier as he doesnt know how to react! I would say, "Yep no prob if you want a DNA test you pay for it and when baby is born we can do it" (said in a calm way so he gets the message that you are serious!! he will soon forget about asking for it)

    When i first found out about being pregnant, me and BF werent talking but I gave him the choice as to wether he wanted to be involved with the baby and we try to be civil to each other or we work out our problems and bring up the baby togehter, which we did and have been doing great and better than ever (weve been together 3 years now) !!

    Maybe its worth trying to sort things out but let him know he has to be serious about wanting to be involved its not good for you or baby if he walks in and out of your lives

    well sorry a bit of an eassy reply but hope whatever you decide to do works out best for you and baby. take care

    Natalie x
     
  2. sasha715

    sasha715 Well-Known Member

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    i think all guys go through that " but is the baby really mine" stage. every guy ive ever know who g.f had got preg had asked her that question. and i agree it is very insulting but they dont mean any harm it really is a defense mechanism.
    i know your prob really mad at the guy and to be honest so wud i (pregnancy has turned me into a bunny boiler!) but remember that guys arent that emotional and what we wud expect them to react like is always wrong! he prob stayed out the way coz he was scared, he prob had enough time to think about it and talk to enough people about his options.
    think of it this way, if he didnt care then why would he bother?

    he obviously wants to be part of the babies life but knows its goin to be hard because you prob dont know each other that well. just think how much he'll have to spoil u to make it up to you!!
    my advise is give it a try.....if it doesnt work at least you'll have a good explaination when your child asks why your not together. its never comforting to hear your parents b*tchin bout each other or blaming each other for not being around.

    good luck xxx
     
  3. Guest

    WELL IN MY OPINON HERE GOES: LOL

    let him visit the baby once born, on ur terms only, and only once a week max.

    dont give him MATB1 form, he dont deserve time off.

    dont let him have any thing to do with birth, you dont need the stress hun.

    he obviously has his best interests at heart, not urs or the babies.

    theres the end of my points

    smile hun!!!! i know what will cheer you up, im having a 8lb baby according to midwife today

    woooohoooooo

    SMILE

    we all love ya
     

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