ok sorry in advance if this seems long but please read, i dont know what to do! my OH has not spoken to his gran from his dad's side for various reasons but the main one being because of his mum. Because his mum didnt get on with his gran my OH has been brought up not speaking to his gran. now he doesnt have much to do with his mum as he has learnt the hard way that she is not a nice person he has admitted it was her fault he doesnt have any relationship with his gran. we are getting married in 2009 and his gran has very kindly offered to pay for our wedding cake. i have only met her once and she was lovely but my OH hasnt seen her since he was young. His gran passed on the message through OH's brother that she'd pay for our cake as a gift! i was so shocked at this and i really didnt expect it! i feel we cant accept this as we have never spoken to her and if we accepted it would seem we are using them in some way, however i want to let her know how much this offer is appreciated and my reasons for not accepting it, how do i do this????? i dont want to use OH brother as a message boy, i want to let her know from me how much i appreciate it and let her know how kind her offer is etc Oh yes and she is on our guest list to come to the wedding and has been since we decided on a date should i let her know this as well? any advice on this will be much appreciated! thanks in advance!