what to do with little bean?????

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by amy, Feb 5, 2006.

  1. amy

    amy Well-Known Member

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    :cry: :cry: :cry: hi , i lost my little bean last night, i woke up in bed i could feel him pasing through, sorry for details. the thing is when i was sorting myself out little bean was there on the tissue, i was to heartbroken to just flush him/her away, so ive rapped it up and its in a box. what am i going to do. i was thinking of going for a walk ( country side) i usually go for lovely walks, and burying my little bean, but then i think thats not good, should i just do what i have should have done in the first place. please help me as im so upset by it all. im so angry as well i keep snapping at my hubby.( i know its not his fault, bless him) i have to have a scan tomorow, hopefully i will not need a d and c. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
     
  2. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

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    Hi honey,
    If you have little bean there then dont flush. What about getting a wee tiny fancy box and sealing bean up inside. You dont need to tell anyone else about this and its there forever or till such times as you feel it would be right to let go. Its your bean and your pain and you can deal with it whichever way you want.

    ((((hugs))))

    Laura.
     
  3. LucyBee

    LucyBee Well-Known Member

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    Oh that's heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.
    If I were you, I would find a lovely, pretty place and bury him there. If possible plant something - a tree or some flowers in memory.
    Alternatively, you could ask your doctor to take him for you.
    I'm so sorry for you.
    Lucy :cry:
     
  4. Sarah&Braydon

    Sarah&Braydon Well-Known Member

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    i am so sorry it must be heart braking i agree with laura i think that is a loverly idea i am sending you lots of hugs
    love sarah and braydon
     
  5. sasswa

    sasswa Well-Known Member

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    Hi love,

    God, I feel for you. That was the worst moment for me - I was in the shower and screamed. I couldn't do anything and OH helped me out - unfortunately we had to flush.

    As someone else mentioned, do what YOU want to do. You are the only one that knows what is right at this point in time.....

    I would bury in a lovely place as well. I'm thinking of you darl.

    Sass
     
  6. jacquidube

    jacquidube Well-Known Member

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    I am so sorry for your loss honey.
    I think you should do whats best for you. The same thing happened to me. I was 12 weeks and past the baby and he was fully formed too. I didnt know what to do, I just stared at him for ages ( he was in a tissue by then ) It will be a year this month that I have kept him wrapped up. He did dry out but the imprint of the baby is still there.
    I just couldnt let go after I had seen him and I wont let him go.

    What lauramum said I think is a great idea. I will be buying a little box now. I can keep him forever.
    I am still going through miscarriage now. I am 11 weeks and 3 days today and baby still hasnt passed. This is my 5th miscarriage. After I have passed this one I am going to buy a bracelet with my 5 angels on it in memory of them.
    I feel for you hun, its not nice is it and you are now attached to your little one. Keep baby and give him a name, you wont regret it then.
    I talk to my baby because it gives me comfort so you do what you feel.
    Take care, All my love Jacqui. x x x x
     
  7. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

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    So sorry for your loss..

    I can only ditto what the others have said..if you can save little bean I would. last Aug when I miscarried and passed my lost bean I stood with my hand on the flush for 10 minutes shaking.... I was so angry that I just flushed and then cried my eyes out for 4 hours and was all hysterical cos I did that. I planted an acer tree in my garden but was so upset that I did not plant bean with it.

    So... do what is right for you but whatever you decide your memories of bean will always be with you.. I have kept the preg tests and scan pic.

    Take care xxxxx

    p.s Jacqui.. how are you??????
     
  8. jacquidube

    jacquidube Well-Known Member

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    Hi Anna Marie. Just got back from hospital and had another scan. I went to a different hospital and have changed over. The scan showed no yolk sac now. They said that it would be nice if I left it further and waited another 2 weeks to miscarry. I had no problem with that. So another 2 week wait for me. Because I am older they didnt want to damage my uterus any further if I ever wanted to try again in the future.
    They said it was fine to leave it another 2 weeks. That would make me 13 weeks and 3 days by then.
    Cant believe you are touching 13 weeks already. Glad to see all was well with your nuchal scan.
    All my love Jacqui. x x x x
     
  9. Little Miss Joslyn

    Little Miss Joslyn Well-Known Member

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    Im so sorry to hear of your loss and I really feel for you. I think keeping your little bean in a special box is a lovely idea as this is a closure. I had a missed miscarriage last april and decided to have a d & c but I wish I had seen my little cherub to say goodbye. I kept the scan picture, pressed some flowers and bought a fish in memory and I named my fish after my baby. I would like to think its soul is in my fish as this gives me confort.
    Hi Jacqui, Im sorry to hear you are still going through your miscarriage and I hope you and your family are coping after the death of your beloved nan.
    Hi Anna Marie, Its good to see you are doing fine and the test went well. I have two days to wait for my tests at the clinic regarding infection so fingers crossed and I can start ttc. x x.
     
  10. Dee1985

    Dee1985 Well-Known Member

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    y dont u plant a lil tree or flower in your garden and burry it there? then u can watch it grow, thats what ild do.
     

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