What am I to do?

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by Daydreamx, Nov 23, 2016.

  1. Daydreamx

    Daydreamx New Member

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    I'm not sure where to post as I'm at the end of my tether!

    My husband suffers badly from depression/ocd and during my recent pregnancy things became really awful - he turned suicidal. It's being treated by drugs and therapy although still very severe.

    He's very controlling due to ocd and we could only choose a baby name from his agreed list. He then forced me (by crying/pleading) to change my choice of middle name when we registered the birth. This really upset me.

    I felt very vulnerable for the next few weeks and wavered over the baby first name. He then had a meltdown and said he longer wanted to keep this name (although he championed it). I suggested changing to one of my favourites but apparently they weren't suitable. This has infuriated me because he chose her original name.

    After consideration, I felt attached to the name she's been called for 7 weeks and would resent changing to another one of his choices! My husband has reacted by crying, in a deep depression, refusing to call her the name and badgering me to change it at every opportunity. Only he won't consider the names I like and keeps suggesting alternatives.


    I wanted to talk about rationally but we can't do that. What am to do? Give in and change to another name I feel apathetic about or leave it as is and face a miserable life with him?
     
  2. Dovekie

    Dovekie Well-Known Member

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    That sounds horrific. Depression is nasty, I've had it myself, but he's being very selfish. If I were you I'd keep the name as it is, if it has been that for 7 weeks! Doesn't everyone know the name now? Is it registered?
     
  3. lisey

    lisey Well-Known Member

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    I wouldn't change the name. Once his meds kick in and his therapy starts to help then I am sure he will be more relaxed about it.
    It sounds very difficult for you. I hope you're getting some support too xx
     
  4. Blueclass

    Blueclass Well-Known Member

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    I'd keep the name and hope once his treated he will calm down. Sounds like a horrible time for you when it should be a happy one. Can you join any baby groups just so you can get out? Is there a support group near you for the loved ones of people who are suffering?x
     
  5. JamsMom

    JamsMom Well-Known Member

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    Keep the name and TBH hats off to you for sticking around. I hope his meds help because that's no life for either of you to live and won't be good for a child to grow up seeing. I really hope he gets all the help and support he needs for you all to live an 'easier' life xx
     

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