Wedding invite for pregnancy due date?

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Fordee, Jan 10, 2012.

  1. Fordee

    Fordee Well-Known Member

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    My good friend got engaged at Christmas and much to my surprise, has booked her wedding already! I'm due on 23rd and she will be married on 25th. Now, I wasn't planning to tell her that I'm pregnant until after my 12 wk scan (we are having dinner together the following wknd anyway, so thought it would be a good opportunity to confess).
    The problem is, what do I reply to her invitation? I can hold off replying until I see her but I'm thinking I should sensibly decline. Not that I want to miss her wedding for a moment, we have been friends for 13 years, but weddings cost a fortune - how could I accept for hubby & me to go when there's a reasonably high chance that I may be incapacitated!
    I was thinking of declining the formal invitation but in the hope that I still may make it to the church.
    What do you ladies think?
     
  2. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    If she is trustworthy I'd confide in her.

    That way you avoid offending her and she can make your excuses.

    xxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. dollface79

    dollface79 Well-Known Member

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    I agree with carnat :)
     
  4. FirstBabyEek

    FirstBabyEek Well-Known Member

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    Hi there, I'm in the same boat, my best friends wedding is on my due date. I've told her that I am expecting and that way she wont get upset as she knows that the only reason I couldnt make it if I was having or had just had the LO.

    I agree with carnat, just confide in her and if she's a good friend she'll completely understand.

    good luck x
     
  5. Loula

    Loula Well-Known Member

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    be honest x
     
  6. Kirsty.Y.84

    Kirsty.Y.84 Well-Known Member

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    When does she want the RSVP by? If you can wait until your scan then obviously then she will understand why you are declining. But if you're likely to see her before the you may just need to tell her. The chances are your baby could be late and you could go to the church and maybe pop in for the evening, that way she won't lose any money if you don't end up coming for the meal x x
     
  7. Loubrookes

    Loubrookes Member

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    M friend and make up artist was due around the time of my wedding. I wanted her to be there so we paid for her and hubby. She was fine, but had baby 3 days later!!! I had a few people (like a close friend at work) as a reserve to fill in. Of course she fully understood why I couldnt invite her in the day originally but was quite happy to be a step in guest if needed.
    I think you need to just be honest, and explain you dont want to waste her money. She may decide your friendship is more important and to risk it!!!! Just be honest, all will be fine xx
     
  8. tinkerbell86

    tinkerbell86 Well-Known Member

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    I had a wedding for 2 wks after my due date we delayed in responding and we said if we could we would go along in the evening to offer our congratulations. My lo was born on his due date so he was 2 wks old but the groom was understanding of the situation whereas the bride didn't like the fact we couldn't give them a straight answer!
     
  9. vixxie77

    vixxie77 Well-Known Member

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    If she's that good a friend then I'm sure she'll risk it, I would tell her sooner rather than later to save yourself unnecessary stress hun x x
     
  10. l_maclean

    l_maclean Well-Known Member

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    Just explain things to her. I'm sure she'll understand. One of my best mates didn't know if she'd be able to arrange flights from Poland arond her job, until really close to the date - but I was happy to keep a place on the chance she could come. We also had a friend on my dads who had to cancel the day before due to I'll health. If you explain the situation you'll be able to come up with a solution that suits both of you. Xxx
     
  11. Fordee

    Fordee Well-Known Member

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    Thanks ladies, I'm gonna hold off till after the 12 wk scan cos I won't see her in person before then. Will just see what comes out of my mouth when I start talking! I'm sure she'll be ok, but I know she's a very 'financially conscious' person so money will be at the forefront of her mind no matter what news I have. Lol.
     
  12. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Maybe you should tell her hun?

    If you delaying sending your reply is going to mean she has less time to fill your places / decide to opt for less places this may just cause her undue stress.

    At least if you tell her now she isn't left wondering why an Earth you aren't replying?

    (unless she has given everyone ages to send thier RSVP?)

    xxxxxx
     
    #12 CARNAT22, Jan 11, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2012
  13. Jayjay027

    Jayjay027 Well-Known Member

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    I know when I sent out my wedding invites, it seriously stressed me out when someone didn't RSVP. The way I saw it, it doesn't take much effort and its common courtesy as its so important to brides.

    If her RSVP deadline is after ur 12wk scan, then that's great, but if not, you should let her know one way or the other.

    Someone else suggested going to the church and the evening do, just miss the meal. That's a great idea, that way u won't miss her day if ur not in labour, and she won't be stressing wondering why ur not RSVPing x

    Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk
     

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