Violet Crossley 11/11/2013 - Last member of our brood

Dotty_woman

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So the final addition to the Crossley family arrived on Monday 11th November 2013 at 10:22 by elective section on the advice of the doctor due to slowing growth. I am 42 and already have two sons: Lewis (15) and Morgan (12) and a new addition to our family of four later in life has been an emotional but very happy journey.

I have never had a c-section before so the recovery has knocked me for six somewhat. Today I am 12 days pp and I am trying to get out and about and have been going for a few walks with my OH to get some much needed fresh air whilst he is off for a couple of weeks. I can only amble slowly but am trying not to rush things.

After the c-section at St. James' Hospital in Leeds, I was wheeled back to the maternity Ward on my bed cuddling Violet with my OH Chris right beside me. I was so chuffed I couldn't stop smiling although I felt quite emotional on seeing my little girl for the first time. This was all going to be like starting from scratch again, especially with having a little girl for the first time and it being so long since I had last been here. I went back onto a ward with about another 4 ladies.

It was so strange being completely numb from the chest down following the c-section, my initial fear had always been "what if I don't get the feeling back" after the operation. Probably an irrational fear but largely due to the fact that I had made it to 42 without having to have any other surgery before. Needless to say, the feeling did return to my legs and I was able to walk to the bathroom by the end of day 1. I had wanted to do skin-to-skin immediately following the birth but in light of the section, this was delayed until I got back into the ward.it was lovely spending that early time with her in such close contact and I was really glad I did it.

As I was going to breastfeed, I wanted to try to feed her as soon as I could. She latched on quite well but was really snuffly - a trait that made it difficult for her to feed on the first day coupled with the fact that I was out if practice and the colostrum was hard work for Violet to get out of me!! She was getting frustrated with the amount of effort it was taking and that coupled with the fact that she was struggling to breathe through her nose made the first night extremely difficult. I got no sleep at all on the first day and was at my wit's end by the early hours and very emotional. The midwives were very helpful but I found d it extremely difficult in a ward with other people in the same situation where my baby was the one creating all the racket. As soon as I put her down, she would start crying. I reached the point where I was totally exhausted from lack of sleep and the midwife took her for a short while for me but I still couldn't sleep and was then worried about her. Worried I was doing something wrong and whether I'd be able to breastfeed this time. Formula feeding was not part of my plan but I wasn't going to just give up. The midwife suggested trying express a bit of colostrum and trying to feed her like that . It wasn't easy but I managed to get a few drops into her.

Once the following morning came, I was completely shattered but after having some breakfast, I had a bit more energy. The midwife shift swapped over and there were some fresh faces on the ward. I was really missing my OH and couldn't wait to see him again. My OH turned up at about 11:00am and when I saw him I burst into tears. I couldn't face another night in hospital. Fortunately as the day progressed I had a bit more success with the breastfeeding although Violet was sleeping for long stints. It was just if I tried to put her in her cot, she would constantly not settle. Chris took over with cuddle duty for a bit and I had a rest although I didn't get any sleep. It was just great to see him and my mood improved significantly. I gad been getting my blood pressure and temperature and occasional blood samples taken throughout the night and it looked as though everything was looking ok. As the midwife had seen that breastfeeding was improving she fave me a glimmer of hope by saying I might be able to go home in Tuesday evening. This was music to my ears and gave me a massive boost.

After making it through the day, it was confirmed I could go home :D My mum brought Lewis and Morgan to see their new baby sister for the first time that evening. The best part was knowing that we would all be going home together as a brand new family of five for the first time that evening. I didn't look back!! :)

Tbc...
 
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Day 1 photographs
 

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oh congratualtions and good luck on healing up and getting used to being mummy to such a small one again. Photos are adoreable!
well done you
x Daisy
 
Aw thanks hun! Does feel like being a new mum for the first time all over again. Good luck on your journey hun! Don't lose hope. xxx
 
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After I left hospital the midwife came to see me the following day. I don't have a great relationship with the midwife I've seen throughout my pregnancy and it always felt like she was just there because she had to be rather than to offer any useful support. The day after the birth was no different!! I did tionk it was just me initially but my OH got the same vibe. I was pleased to hear a different midwife would be coming to see me for the follow up weighing on day 3.

On day 3, the midwife came and I was ready for confrontation. I felt at that stage like I was being looked badly upon for feeding less regularly as though I was bring lazy. The fact was bubs was falling asleep after a feed and not interested in having any more. She weighed Violet and to my surprise she had lost about 400g in weight - approx 11% of her birth weight. I was really worried and burst into tears. I told the midwife she had been feeding 3-4 hourly but the midwife told me this wasn't enough and she needed more feeds to give her the energy to just feed. I felt very defensive and emotional. I had been trying my best and I was abolutely knackered. After I had calmed down and realised that the midwife actually wanted to help me rather than just criticise me she gave me some very useful suggestions. I purchased an app called iBaby which you can use to track and log your feeds and nappy changes. I agreed to step up the feeding to 2-3 hourly and set a reminder on my new app every 2 hours to attempt a feed. The midwife also suggested Violet might be getting too cosy when feeding and it might be advisable to lose a layeroif clothing to wake her up a bit if she dozed off during a feed. This was all helpful advise and she arranged for another midwife to come on day 5 and weigh Violet again.

I stuck to the new schedule as closely as I could, waking her up if I needed to for a feed. It was hard work but I felt like I was getting somewhere and I felt I was better informed as I had a log of all the feeds Violet had had. I was a bit worried when day 5 came round in case she had lost more weight. However , to my relief she had put 200g of weight back on in 2 days. I was so relieved and it was finally working. The midwife came again a couple of days later and she had put some more weight back on still so I agreed to carry on with the current feeding regime. I had a follow up appointment at the clinic on Friday and Violet has put on another 100g so only a few grams from her birth weight. We've got a follow up appointment this Friday so hopefully she will have passed her original birth weight by then.

Obviously news has got out on our street . I 'm not particularly close with any if our neighbours other than my Greek friend who lives round the corner. She couldn't wait to meet Violet but had been restrained by her OH from visiting as her youngest son had been poorly. She was over the moon when she finally came to visit. Both she and I have two sons so the arrival of a little girl has really shaken things up!! I had surprise visits from two of our other neighbours as news filtered down and it was do nice to see them when we all generally keep ourselves to ourselves.

I'm feeling a lot more optimistic now I seem to have conquered the feeding. The nights are always the worst but I guess everyone suffers at night time when they are ready for a sleep and their LO isn't !! My OH has taken to lightly swaddling Violet after a feed and this seems to be helping her to nod off for an hour or so during the day so I am trying to get in a few cheeky naps when she is napping. The temptation to do a lot if jobs round the house is a bit too great but with a mound if washing as big as the north face of the Eiger building up, it 's easy to do more than you should!
 
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My OH is going back to work tomorrow and I'm really going to miss him. He has been a great help the last 2 weeks. We are going to do something today, just the three of us for our last day of just us. :) Just hope Violet's night time routine isn't going to disturb him too much when he has a 6:30am start tomorrow :s xxx
 
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So it's just me in the house on my own today with Violet. DH has gone to work and Lewis and Morgan have gone to school. Just have a visit to the opticians at lunchtime for an eye test at the bottom of the road so nothing too heavy duty for my first day with bubs on my own. Had the world's worst constipation last night and felt absolutely awful. Fortunately I found a couple of sachets of Fybogel late last night. This morning all is well again, thank heavens. Don't think I've felt so rotten for a long time but relieved to be ok now. xxx
 
Had a better night last night. Managed som semblance of sleep between about 2am and 5:20. Pretty sure that there's some weeping from my section scar. Not sure whether to leave it until Friday as I have a mw appointment then or to ring the doctor. Despite having had a bit of sleep I am feeling very tired still. My mum is supposed to be coming today so may have to accept offers of help with the housework. I think I've been trying to do too much and need to slow down a bit. Booked an appointment with the hairdresser to get my roots done next week so hoping a bit of pamper time will be nice. xxx
 
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Hoping for a better night tonight. Had real problems with Violet last night. She just wouldn't settle after feeding and when I tried to feed her more, she was getting agitated. My nipples were getting sore from trying but I had tried am everything else so just assumed she was trying to cluster feed and getting frustrated. Tried winding and nappy change but nothing seemed to help. My OH cuddled her for a whole and then I tried feeding her again. There was no way she was letting me put her down last night. Ended up having her in bed with me for about and hour so at least got a lie down even though I wasn't asleep. Must have finally got her to sleep at about 6:00am and managed a couple of hours sleep. Another feed at 9:30 and she went to sleep straight after. Decided to take the opportunity to grab a bit more sleep. Really appreciated OH's help last night but was worried about him not getting enough sleep when he has to get up at 6am as he works in Doncaster. Fortunately, he was able to work from home today and even though he works freelance, the company he is working for at the moment are being quite reasonable about him working from home a bit more at the moment in these early weeks. Had a quiet day at home trying to take it easy.

Decided to have a go expressing some milk with my new Medala breast pump. I 'd forgotten how uncomfortable it was but managed to get just over 50ml. Doesn't sound like much but compared to the size of bub's belly I suppose that's not too bad.

Got a midwife appointment at 2:30pm this afternoon so hoping that Vi is still putting the weight on. Must mention about my slightly weeping section wound too in case I need some antibiotics. xxx
 
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I was a bit nervous about going for my next midwife appointment becsuse of Violet's initial weight loss during her first 3 days. In the last 11 days her weight has gone up by 410g so I'm very relieved about that. Violet is now weighing 8lb 3oz, up from her birth weight of 7lb 9oz. At least that confirms I'm doing something right. :) xxx
 
Well, I know no-one is reading this but just wanted to say how lucky I'm feeling today as Violet slept after her 2am feed until 6:30 this morning!! Well done my little lady !! I'm hoping that's a good thing in light of the fact I'm supposed to be feeding her every 2-3 hours . However seeing as she had put on over 400 g in the last 11 days I'm hoping that it's not a problem. I did really need a bit more sleep to be fair. xxx
 
Just read the who.e journal and sounds like your doing just great :) max is not due to be weighed again until Monday but he seems to have doubled in size recently so I'm hoping his gain is good!! Xxx
 
Just found your new journal dotty. Sounds like you and violet doing great! 410g???? I've only managed 50g with jess :-(
I'm sure my milk is only just coming in properly. I can express 20mils with a manual pump. My medela shouldbe arriving monday :)
 
410 g was over 11 days but I'm pleased that we're heading in the right direction now. Trying to feed every 2 hours when I could really helped to build my supply I think. It also gave Vi the strength to get through more feeds. I'm sure things will be fine for you Fliss. It just takes time and both of us have to learn not just bubs. It looks like our feeds are starting to get a bit longer and less of them but I don't want to count my chickens! Can't believe Violet is 3 weeks old today! Don't know where the time has gone. Hope the rest of my maternity leave doesn't go this quickly. We've hardly done anything yet!! xxx
 
Just read the who.e journal and sounds like your doing just great :) max is not due to be weighed again until Monday but he seems to have doubled in size recently so I'm hoping his gain is good!! Xxx

Good luck for your weigh in today Rebecca! I'm sure you'll be fine especially if you can tell he has grown. xxx
 
Managed to get of extra sleep this morning after Vi's 9:30 feed before the health visitor showed up at 11am. It's amazing how all these little naps really make a difference. After lunch I bundled Vi into our new baby carrier so I could walk up to the doctor's surgery to register her with our practice. That 's another job done. Hearing test tomorrow. I'll be glad when most of these appointments are out of the way. I need some human interaction. So far this week, I've only got my mum coming on Thursday although I am going to attempt a trip to the hairdressers on Wednesday.
 
I'm looking forward to the up and coming milestones, Dotty. Xx
 
Thanks Sophie! Crumbs, you're 30 weeks already!! Sorry, I've been a bit preoccupied! xxx
 
Jesus, I know, wanting time to hurry now, I'm bored! Xx
 
. I need some human interaction. So far this week, I've only got my mum coming on Thursday although I am going to attempt a trip to the hairdressers on Wednesday.

I'm taking the plunge and going to a new mum group tomorrow. Good effort going to the hair dresser though! I need a fringe trim, can't see out!
 
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