Venting needed

[Steph26]

Hi Ladies

I hope you are all well, was just looking for a bit of reassurance if possible.

I'm currently 14 (nearly 15) weeks pregnant and all is going well with me so far - minimal sickness, strong heartbeat etc. I am diabetic and take insulin and so pregnancy and looking after myself has been challenging but so far has been good and everyone's happy

Myself, my middle sister and my mother are all diabetic and have been so since we were all children (diagnosed at 12, 15 and 7 years old respectively) My mum has been having issues with her kidneys in the last few years and been told she will eventually have to go on dialysis and the kidney transplant list. She has had tests to prove her fitness to go on the transplant list and it turns out she is in need of a triple heart artery bypass.

There's three of us girls (Me at 26, and my sisters at 18 and 11) Me and the youngest are extremley close with my mother and I'm super protective of her and always try to look after her and do what I can when she gets a bit overwhelmed by everything. It's a great relationship. However the 18 year old never seems to realise how much my mum does for her (her washing, dinner, picking her up and giving lifts etc) and can be really ungrateful - to the point where we fall out as I disagree with the way she speaks/treats my mum.

It turns out after months of waiting, my mum is going in for a pre-op assessment tomorrow and scheduled to be admitted to Hammersmith Hospital on Sunday.

I have booked time off in preparation, looked up what the operation involves and said I am happy to move back home for a while (as i live with my husband) to help out with cleaning and looking after my sisters/my mum and to support my mum's partner.

My mum told me though that my 18 year old sister when asked if she'd visit my mum in hospital said 'I don't know - i mean i hate hospitals!' - And it really upset my mum and she said to me not to force her into coming, but it's made me so angry and upset that she could be so selfish and thoughtless to say something like that.

That plus I am worried for my mum (I'm sure she will be fine but she keeps saying morbid things like "If i die" and my "my mum died when i was pregnant with you, i hope this isn't history repeating itself!")

argh - needed to vent, sorry if i've cast a downer on everyone : / Hope everyone is happy and having good pregnancies xx

 

[Donna88]

I'm so sorry to hear this, I can't imagine what you are going through right not. My thoughts go out to you and your family and especially your mum.

Maybe have a word with her about the comments about dying, she probably says them off hand not realising how hurtful it is to you... or maybe trying to prepare you as she is thinking the worse herself, but you need to stay positive.


As for your sister, I can understand how upset you are by her comments. However, you probably don't want to hear this but it's probably down to her age. Don't get me wrong, not all 18 year olds are like that and I'm not saying it's an excuse either. But a lot of girls her age just don't think and she probably didn't mean anything by it. Again maybe just try speaking to her, but try to not have a go at her about it.

Sorry I can't help anymore

 

[Steph26]

Hey Donna88

Thanks for the reply, yeah i think you are right, it's just difficult to understand because at 18 I had to look after my sisters while my mum was in hospital for 8 weeks and my step dad was not coping, and i would never have dreamed of saying such things to my mum even if i didn't want to go.

That being said, she's a good kid and I think she probably has just been freaking out and trying to pretend none of it's happening.

Fingers crossed it all turns out fine x