vanishing twin and anxiety

Discussion in 'Second Trimester' started by holly8888, Dec 5, 2016.

  1. holly8888

    holly8888 New Member

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    Hey ladies,

    This post is long and not very positive but I need to get it off my chest.

    So I am pregnant with bubba number 3. This LO is my first with my current partner though we've been together since my DD was 3 and DS was 6 months so he calls DP dad. As happy as I was with my two kids i know OH always wanted to experience it from the beginning and he is a fantastic dad so I am ready to do it all again.

    We tried for almost a year with no success and then last july we were going to Ibiza for a wedding so decided to take a break from TTC but low and behold this was the month we caught. I found out just before our holiday and was about 5 weeks when we went. The day after we got back I woke up to be in a very bloody bed. I was convinced I'd miscarried. I told my DP that we'd lost it and we cried but I really didn't want to go to the out of hours (being a weekend) so i curled up on the sofa and waited until Monday. The bleeding continued and light cramps. On the Monday my DP and I went to the doctors and were referred to our EPAU for a scan. They had to do an internal which was uncomfortable but you could've knocked me over with a feather when the sonographer saw two little heartbeats. We were having twins, identical they said and we were floored. I had been convinced we were having a miscarriage.

    For the next week and a bit we were in shock and I carried on bleeding but the EPAU had explained this with a subchorionic hematoma. At 8 weeks we decided to have a private scan due to the bleeding and in this scan we were told that one of the twins had not made it. It had stopped growing at about 7+2 so about 3 days after that first scan. I was crushed but weirdly relieved to still have one.

    Well anyway since that day to this at 24+2 I am waiting for something to go wrong. I read so much about identical twins and vanishing twin and the fact that usually vanishing twin is due to chromosomal defects and surely identical twins would have the same chromosomes. I have asked doctors but they say they don't know. One tried to convince me that they weren't in the same placenta but I had the scan pic. I try to convince myself every day that they just don't know enough about vanishing twins to be able to give me answers but it doesn't stop the anxiety.

    Every time i go for a scan Im convinced they are going to tell me the baby has gone or is ill but the baby is perfect. I've had my 20 week scan and they looked at everything and were happy. I have a loving family and an amazing partner but I cant tell them about how I feel because my family just dismiss it as 'silly' and my DP is so excited I dont want to keep raining on his parade. My GP has signed me off work for a few days because I'm not sleeping. I keep having dreams that it all goes wrong, i cant go the loo without being sure I'm going to see blood. Now the baby is kicking and I'm so ready to get excited but I cant. I just want to be enjoying my pregnancy and I'm so frustrated with myself.
     
  2. Eryinera

    Eryinera Well-Known Member

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    I think the chromosome vanishing twin is usually on non identical twins. I think it's more likely there was an issue in how they split or maybe the placenta on the 2nd twin. I know placenta issues can cause a lot of issues too. My cousin lost one of her twins and the her son is now 18month old. Unfortunately losing one twin is actually quite common. But thankfully a lot of women carry the 2nd twin to term x the fact your 20wk scan was good is fantastic news and means there is an extremely small chance of anything going wrong now. *touch wood*
     
  3. kabuk1

    kabuk1 Well-Known Member

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    Whilst identical twins do have the same DNA, genes can express themselves differently. This is why identical twins, whilst they look alike, tend to have very different personalities. Realistically, there is still so little we know about epicenetics, which has to do with gene expression. Of course my info is linked to studies on older children and adults, but I would assume it starts early. Think about genetic testing for carriers- you can be a carrier and never develop the disease because the gene never expressed itself.

    I know it's not an answer, but hopefully food for thought that will offer some comfort.

    Congrats and good luck with the pregnancy!
     
  4. Pambi

    Pambi Well-Known Member

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    Oh love, what a mind f%ck for you. I'm so pleased that everything was ok at the 20 week scan, its just going to be one of those pregnancies where things are a bit more difficult for you, I'm sure it will all change when baby is in your arms. ((huge hugs))

    I am no expert but try to think of the cells dividing and developing as being like a photocopy - sometimes there is a slight change in the quality and for the embryo that didn't make it there was an imperfection which led to it not being viable. That doesn't mean that there are any imperfections in the cells that your baby has - if it did have them, it too wouldn't have made it.
     
  5. Chrissyollie

    Chrissyollie New Member

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  6. Chrissyollie

    Chrissyollie New Member

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    hi! I know this post is old but I’ve had the same experience and same worried! Just wondering what your outcome was. Thank you!


     
  7. Chrissyollie

    Chrissyollie New Member

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    Hi! Sorry for your loss. I had the same exact thing- vanishing identical twin and the same worries about them sharing the same DNA. My doctors aren’t concern but I can’t get it out of mind! What was your outcome? Thanks!!


     
  8. EmilyMaria

    EmilyMaria Well-Known Member

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    My husband was a triplet. One of the babies was lost around 12 weeks. His Mum went on to deliver two healthy babies.
     

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