Useless OH

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by littlemonkey, Jul 7, 2013.

  1. littlemonkey

    littlemonkey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2012
    Messages:
    3,989
    Likes Received:
    0
    I just need to rant! My OH has been off work this week and oh my god it's been a nightmare! We've done nothing but argue cos of how he is with LO. LO has been unsettled all week, which I think is in part due to changing his formula to the anti-reflux stuff, but also cos OH has been here. When LO starts crying he's always like 'oh for gods sake' and 'what now' and 'stop crying'. I feel like he's always on edge when he gets upset which puts me on edge and makes the whole thing worse. I hate how he is with LO, in my day he's the top priority, I always talk to him, play with him, carry him and cuddle him. I generally do bits around his naps etc. I feel like with OH he is just not interested in our son at all. He's just there while he does something else like watch telly, do housework, play on his phone etc. He never talks to him on walks and it drives mad! I shouldn't expect anything more really, his family are cold and show no emotion, so he's had no one to learn from. I got so upset about it the other day and OH promised me things would improve. Today LO was back to his happy self, probably cos it was me who got him up today. But while I was upstairs I heard LO getting grumpy after being on his mat too long, wanting to be held. OH put him in bouncer while he hung the washing up instead. This has resulted in a screaming fit from LO, OH getting annoyed and the pair of us having a screaming match. LO wouldn't take his feed and is now asleep on me. He's so unsettled he won't let me put him down! OH accused me of undermining him, but I'm not just gonner sit there while my son is crying cos he wants a hug and daddy is too busy! Aaarrrggghhh! I just want him to piss off back to work so LO and I can get back to normal!
     
  2. sophie_jane

    sophie_jane Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 27, 2012
    Messages:
    1,056
    Likes Received:
    0
    Poor you. Why's he off work? Sick leave or holiday?
    My OH goes back to work Mon after paternity leave & although I'm not looking forward to him going back, it will be nice to try & get in to some sort of routine.
    I often find that he's bad-tempered around the baby & gets frustrated that she always wants to be held & cries. Sometimes he just puts her down & let's her cry as she's annoying, which I hate. She's only 6 weeks old. She's not doing it to try to annoy him... she needs something!
     
  3. Msclaireypants

    Msclaireypants Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2012
    Messages:
    3,753
    Likes Received:
    0
    My hubby is exactly the same, doesn't play with him sing to him or really interact with him. He let's him lie on his playmat and cry if he's bored or tired. Drives me up the wall


    Spencer David Wilcockson 28/2/2013 6lbs 3.5ozs
     
  4. littlemonkey

    littlemonkey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2012
    Messages:
    3,989
    Likes Received:
    0
    He's been on holidays for his birthday, which was nice, but god it's been hard work too!

    I'm at the point now where LO crying doesn't bother me. Well it does, but I know how to deal with it now, so I don't get stressed by it. But OH just gets so stressed out! He doesn't realise that doesn't help!!!!
     
  5. littlemonkey

    littlemonkey Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2012
    Messages:
    3,989
    Likes Received:
    0
    It drives me mad too! OH always says I'm LO's favourite but it's cos I give him my all. He just doesn't get it!
     
  6. Emma.b

    Emma.b Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2011
    Messages:
    2,978
    Likes Received:
    0
    I have the other problem. My OH really tries so hard with our LO, but he get frustrated when he has tried everything and LO just won't given in crying. Poor OH can do everything, singing, playing, cuddling, feeding, talking, burping etc etc yet just won't settle. Yet i take him bounce him about a bit and he settles for a nap etc.

    I feel bad for OH as he thinks he's not doing it good enough or right, but it's not that, it's because i spend all day with LO i know his personality i know how he likes things done. He's a rough little boy he loves being bounced around for a nap....OH is terrified he'll break him!

    So as much as OH tries, i still look forward to the weekend being over just so i can get back in to a routine with LO!!

    We just can't win haha

    x x x
     
  7. tambo1976

    tambo1976 Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2012
    Messages:
    2,901
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wow your OH would really piss me off! He needs to grow up and cherish every moment he has with his baby boy. I was actually shocked at your comment about you "undermining" him, I mean seriously wtf? Does he not realise your baby will always come first and you will never lower the amount of love or attention you give him just to please your OH who appears to be a big spoilt baby himself.

    Thank God, for your and babies sake, he is back at work soon. I wouldn't argue with him around the little one though, I would just leave the room, go out, visit family/friends Infact even sit on a park bench watching the world go by rather than have a horrible atmosphere around bubs.

    You need to have a talk to him, a proper no shit talk about how he has to change. I just don't see why you or your son should suffer him! I really do feel for you and at the end of the day it will be his loss if one day you just blow up and tell him you can't take any more xxx

    God, I'm sorry if I ranted but I just hate to read about people being treated so badly :hug:

    tapatalkin
     
  8. BevG

    BevG Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2011
    Messages:
    7,806
    Likes Received:
    20
    its often like this when oh is off work, hes much better with lo now shes a toddler but when she was a little baby it would be such a hassle mostly just cos he disrupted the routine and does things differently/not at all and im used to doing it all myself. once she was older tho it did get better and he figured out how to do stuff with her to amuse her, but the first 6 months she would just cry at him mostly
     
  9. Rachaellius

    Rachaellius Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2011
    Messages:
    8,817
    Likes Received:
    0
    I totally feel your pain a million times over,
     
  10. Rachaellius

    Rachaellius Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jun 24, 2011
    Messages:
    8,817
    Likes Received:
    0
    Ohhhkay tapatalk took away half of my post for some reason. Anyway yeah my OH has 5 weeks off work, we've just about got through a week and pretty much everyday I've wanted to strangle him :wall:

    His work goes pretty quiet over the summer. It's going to be a long 4weeks :(
     
  11. Leah04x

    Leah04x Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Apr 23, 2012
    Messages:
    2,718
    Likes Received:
    0
    I could have written this post! Definitely know how you feel xx
     
  12. tinkerbates

    tinkerbates Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2011
    Messages:
    503
    Likes Received:
    0
    I also sympathise. We are all on edge when OH is home, he just doesn't have the patience for LO xx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice