*Update June 10* Bladder control issues

[Sherlock]

*Update June 10*

So its been over 4 weeks now since Galen was born and I had anything that resembled bladder control. Things are still far from great in that department. Not even good. I have no sensation as to if my bladder is full or nearly empty and simply cannot tell when I need to go to the loo. Hence whenever I stand up, start moving, get out of bed etc I *have* to wee asap or else I start leaking urine and do so until I empty my bladder.

You can imagine how awkward this makes life atm with small baby and trying to get out of the house. Everywhere I go I need to go to the loo at least every 30 minutes or else I may end up wetting myself if my bladder gets too full

Went to see doctor today. Had the works examination wise. Apparently everything feels ok bladder wise but she says I have stress and urge incontinence and that it is unusual to have it so badly and for so long after giving birth. I've to keep going with the pelvic floor exercises for a few more weeks and if its still not righted itself then its off to see gynacologist (the lovely consultant who along with her registrars told me not to have a homebirth so she'll be pleased to see me I am sure ) and consider having an operation on my bladder There are meds for the urge control but as they cross into the breast milk and its not known if there are side effects for LO Doctor and I both thought it better to not take them. So my only drug based option is off the menu.

Its onwards and hopefully vast improvement will happen. I don't fancy having an op anytime soon if I can help it. But if things really don't get better it may be my only option.

******************

I'm really not one to moan or whinge too often about things and I've tried to be positive about all this, but I really need to vent otherwise I'll go potty.

Galen is 3 weeks old today. Birth weight 9lb 15ozs, weight as of 2 weeks and 5 days old... 10lb 11ozs He is, as my HV puts it 'a clearly thriving baby' and she has no concerns about him. But she does me.

My main problem stems from delivering a large baby and having serious bladder control loss for about 10 days afterwards (along with lots of stiches) While things have improved somewhat since then, I am still incontinent of urine and pretty much leak urine (and we are not talking a few drops here) when going from resting/sitting/lying to standing and moving around. And once moving, unless I emtpy my bladder regular as clockwork I then also leak urine. I need to change the pad every 30 minutes or so in this case and when out you can imagine thats not always easy to do. I have a numerous occasions actually wet myself through. Luckily this has not happened when anywhere outside/away of the house or the farm. But that is mainly as I simply don't go anywhere atm for it to happen elsewhere

Add on to this a very demanding baby feed wise and it makes for one unhappy woman on occasion. I find that sitting to feed Galen and then trying to stand up to return him to his crib or wherever, I more or less wet myself and its a battle with the pelvic floor and so on and getting to the loo in time. I can't just rush the baby or myself and so often its too late when I get to the loo.

Its making me truly miserable. I am normally a really active person and hate feeling confined and unable to do anything. I am feeling somewhat tied due to baby and his demands but would feel so much better if I could actually feel confident enough to go out and do things with him. My HV understands I'd love to go attend the childrens centre etc but just don't feel able to due to bladder issues. I find it humiliating and its caused me no end of tears of late. Hell, even a simple trip to the supermarket is a nightmare to juggle between myself and baby atm. I actually drove there last night to shop but was so upset because of baby and incontinence (had problems before leaving house and had planned to shop with OH and baby earlier in the evening) I simply sat in the car and sobbed for 45 minutes before turning round and going home and straight to bed. No shopping done I just could not face it.

Physio, HV and MW have all told me it will take time but will get better. The thing is, its been 3 weeks so far and its still bad enough to be really disrupting my life and making me miserable. I did my pelvic floor exercises during pregnancy and am still doing them now, but tbh, can't really feel much and they don't seem to be working as I cannot control anything really.

I know there is not much advice anyone can offer re the incontinence problem. Its just as it is and I have to live with it. But I just needed to get it out there as its doing my head in. I hate feeling so confined and limited and in a way trapped by it all.

 

[keli]

I really haven't anything to say Sherlock but didn't want to read and run. I really feel for you and things get better soon for you xxx

 

[1sttimemum]

And with all those hormones as well.

Gosh i feel for you chuck, things get better for you and keep on at the pelvic floor muscles!!!

 

[Suzie and Faith]

 

[LaineyG]

Hi Sherlock,
I'm so sorry that you are having to go through all of this.

If it is affecting your self-esteem and confidence could you not speak to your GP about it? There must be something they can do.

I have a pal who had bladder control problems, and she ended up with an small operation and is fully healed and recovered now. I know you may not need to go down that route, but maybe starting the ball rolling might get you to a conclusion sooner rather than later?

I waffling on and probably not being much help! Have some of these and I hope you get some help.

xxx

 

[smile]

it's tough being a new mum - but it WILL get better

re: the incontinence. I was the same for about 10days and I didn't even have stitches - as well as the damage to the pelvic floor the nerves that control the muscles get stretched and damaged aswell and they take time to recover.

Pelvic floor exercises work but you need to be doing them a minimum of 50 times a day. You won't be able to feel anythign at first - it can take a while but WILL be helping. To start with you are just helpign the nerves heal adn remember what to do before they can start getting the muscles twitching and then start retraining your pelvic floor.

You do not have to "just live with it"
1) tena lady! stick a proper big pad on and go out - you will feel 100 times better if you do.

2) do little shops - I found that a mamoth shop was not doable. Go and buy todays food only. then go home to rest, do not pass go, do not collect 200 pounds! then do the same tomorrow.

3) give yourself a break - yes you have done well, stayed positive so far, you had the pregnancy and birth you wanted, you breastfed you did things your way - no offense intended hun but that ends now.... your way is taking a little rest now and Galen's way is taking over - it is not forever, it is hard, it is a major adaptation but it is SO much easier once you accept it and go with the flow...

4) have people round - invite friends with babies round if you don't feel like going out - but get out every day - no matter how bad you feelm no matter how demanding Galen is being and no matter if you have to have a pillow between your legs as an incontine pad!

5) first thing monday mornign call and make an appointment to see your GP. not an urgent appointment - a routine (ask if you can make a double appointment as you have a couple of things to discuss) get OH to look after Galen and tell them what is going on - print out a copy of your post if you are too embarrased to tell them. 3 weeks is a bit of a long time to not get any improvement but still within the realms of normal. However - it is good to talk to them for advice and to get the ball rolling - take a urine sample so they can check for infection as that can also cause incontinence.

6) have a day off. You need a rest - it is about the right time - 3/4 weeks in it gets really hard as the 'novelty' and the adrenaline wears off and you crash. Your OH can look after Galen and just bring him to you when he needs feeds. You are not a bad mum for needing this - you are a good mum for looking after yourself as you are the only essential thing to him at the moment and he can't afford for you to get sick. have a lie in, a good breakfast, read a book, go for a short walk, phone your best friend for a natter. take some time to gather your thoughts and your energy. It will help - trust me.

 

[Kimberly]

I don't have any advice to offer, but wanted to send you these I'm sure it must be really tough for you.

 

[valentine]

Hi Sherlock,

I am so sorry to hear you are going through this - my heart goes out to you, it must be so difficult.

I think that smile has written an amazing post above and gives some brilliant advice that I think you should definitely take on board. I can't add to that, but I am thinking of you lots and lots.

Please keep us updated.

Valentine Xxx

 

[kmac]

Hi Sherlock
I just wanted to give you some of these and to say that I hope you feel better soon. Don't be too tough on yourself, you've got a lot to deal with at the moment.

I hae had bladder probs since having a recurrent UTI which started in November, so I can understand a tiny bit of what you are going through.
Now I'm pg I am just expecting it to get worse!

Thinking of you anyway

 

[sarafet]

sherry

i think smiles post has fantastic advice there, i don't know what to add to that except to say - you know yourself how strong you are, so don't let this drag you down you are a FANTASTIC mummy to galen, you should be so proud of yourself

xxxxxxxxx

 

[muppetmummy]

I hope it gets better soon, seeing your gp sounds like a good idea

 

[Miss.Monroe]

keep your chin up

 

[clarey]

Smiles advice is fab hun, be kind to yourself and take it easy

 

[Sherlock]

Thanks ladies I'm feeling a bit better but its still pretty much the same situation. Its a few days later and the bladder problem seems to be no real change. HV is here tomorrow so will talk to her again.

My main problem seems to be I can't tell if I have a full bladder or an almost empty one. So when I stand or move etc, when I start leaking I never know how long its liable to go on for. Once I start weeing, I cannot really stop it and its a huge effort to try to. And it doesn't work

Regarding your advice smile, some of it I was already doing, other things I'd like to but its more or less impossible atm. Other things, put into practice. Thank you

Tena pads - check! Been wearing them since a few days after Galen was born (I was more or less stopped bleeding after 2 days). I'm buying up the entire supermarket supply of them I think Yes they are good, but still soak through and also if I leave them on too long once wet I find I get sore and its unpleasant. Its like wearing a brick between my legs

We only have one car atm and hubby is taking that most days for work. Its over a mile to the village shop and I just cannot make it there and back without wetting myself so Doing a small daily shop is nigh on impossible therefore as the nearest decent store is 3 miles away. We live rural and its just not feasible to try to use public transport etc with baby and me atm.

I'd pretty much given over already to Galen and his demands and so on. His feeding is an issue but luckily my breasts are holding up fine. However, expressing so far has been painful and I'm trying again manually as the breastpump was agony pain wise My other problem with Galen is that he is behaving more like a 3 month old baby not a 3 week old one (HV is amazed and says she has not really known a baby like it ) He has long wakeful periods (average 6 hours during the day) and while often quite content during this, needs stimulation and contact obviously. I find I am very tied to him and cannot really get anything much done. His average sleep time day or night is 3 hours tops. Rarely does he go over this. However the past 3 nights have been better overnight sleepwise and settling so thats something to keep hold of and hope continues. He still isn't going longer than 3 hours then either but thats ok.

Having people round is more or less a non starter. Mainly as I only have one friend living a few miles away and she works Mon-Fri etc. Hubby and I don't really have anyone else here. None of my friends have children under 10 and none live anywhere nearby (one is a grandmother already) so new mums and babies will only be met if and when I can get out and attend the groups at the activity centre (3 mile drive each way). Atm I just cannot cope with trying to go attend there. No family living nearby either.

I am getting out with the dog for a walk or two each day which is good. But thats about all I can manage in myself tbh.

GP and return trip to physio planned now.

My mother came to visit yesterday and brought an overnight bag and is staying till tomorrow afternoon. Its been bliss. She phoned on Saturday and realised I was down and tired so decided to give me a break. Other than me feed Galen yesterday she did everything else for him till I went to bed. Of course, he had one of his mammoth awake days and didn't fully settle till 7pm His longest power nap during it all was 45 minutes when we went out for a walk. As soon as we came back, he woke up again My mother said she realises now just what I am facing with him and keeps telling me it will get better. She has also helped with cleaning and cooked also. Its been lovely to have some time to myself and to try expressing etc and having just a bit of me time.

OH has been wonderful throughout and does his share with Galen already, but has to work, be it away from home or here in his study. I can't keep disturbing him during the day when he is home or else he'll never get anything done and won't get paid.

I just want to get my bladder control back so I can feel a bit more normal and do more. Honestly, I managed 9 months of pregnancy and then labour and find that my bladder woes are the one thing that are undoing me. If anyone had told me I'd possibly have such a problem I'd have maybe been better prepared, but no one mentioned this might happen (I guess no one thought it might be this bad either), so its caught me off guard and I am trying to cope with it as best I can.

So anyways, thats me. I sound like a right whinge bag reading this back through but I'm not complaining, honestly I'm not. Its how it is and I'm just trying to deal with it.

 

[trixipaws]

oh sherlock i do feel sorry for u, i can only imagine how u must feel, i havent had any probs as severe as yours sounds from reading ur post, but i do kno how mortifying it is to lose bladder control- it happened to me 11 months after i gave birth! and i did not have a 10-pound-er (she did have a huge head tho!)

dont think that tho, that u "have to live with it". u shouldnt *have to* live with that, if i were u i would keep on at the docs etc to get referred to whatever speacialists etc may be able to help u.

go with ur instincts, if u think ur case theres a bit more to it than "normal" after-effects of childbirth then dont just assume docs kno best!

i got an analagy for u a personal one- when melissa was one week old her eyes went all sticky, we were told its VERY common in newborns (which it is) but after 2 months and 2 types of drops and cleaning with boiled water etc i just KNEW deep down there was more to it. i was made to feel like a bit of a silly over-worried first-time-mum and my boyf later admitted that he just trusted what the docs first said that its nothing and wouldnt have pursued it like i did- but i did i asked for tests done and they came back positive for chlamydia, which couldve damaged millie's eyes if left untreated! also this led to me & boyf both getting treated to, we hadnt known we had it and couldve been made infertile. so my over-worried-first-time-mum-ness paid off! not just for waa-waa but for us too!

idk what else to say really, i hope ur back to normal soon, i hope they ARE right in ur case. but nag them if u feel strongly that theyre not

 

[GBLiz]

sherlock - i dont have the leaking problem you do, but like you ive also lost sensation of needing to wee.

sometimes i realise i havent weed the entire day, so i go for the sake of it, and find im there weeing for ages.

hope you get your problem sorted soon

 

[Sherlock]

Updated in first post

 

[valentine]

Aw Sherlock, I really feel for you. I think about you all the time and wonder how you are all getting on, so I was really sorry to hear that things haven't really improved for you.

If it isn't enough dealing with a newborn baby, breastfeeding, going out for the first time, visitors etc - you've got this huge added stress and can't even begin to get your life back, I'm so sorry. I only hope you get a quick appointment and some end to this as soon as possible.

Thinking of you lovely

Valentine Xxx

 

[keli]

Don't think it would have made much difference if you'd given birth in hospital. Galen was a very big baby! You did bloody well to push him out. Sod the doctors! Really hope the outcome is good for you Sherlock i'm sure it will be I can't imagine what your going through as has been said it's hard enough with a newborn, BF etc without the added pressure of other problems hope your still managing to get your daily walks with Eric xx

 

[trixipaws]

aww, i hope u get back to normal soon