unsure

[maybenum3]

Hi all,

I'm new here. My name is Stacey. Didn't really know where else to vent my thoughts. I have a son who is 12 and a daughter who is 7 I am no longer with their dad, haven't been for 6 years now, I have been with my partner for 1.5years. I am currently 32.

I have unsure thoughts on baby number 3. Some days I really want another and some days I sit and think how would I cope with a newborn and am I getting towards that age where it may be too late to start trying again?

I drive myself crazy thinking about it. My partner doesn't have kids, so it would be nice for him to have one of our own, but he keeps saying when we are more financially stable.. I mean when will that be? hahaha we may never be or it may be too late etc..

I really don't know

Does anyone else feel this way? How old were you all having your children? Anyone else have a large gap between their last two children?

Any thoughts would be helpful

Much love,

Stacey xx

 

[Donna88]

Hi Stacey;
This is a difficult one; my husband worries about finances too but he's decided now that we're in the best position we've ever been in and also that if we constantly say when we're in a better position we may never decide to start trying so we're not on month 2 of TTC.

I will have at least a 10 year age gap between children depending on how long it takes us. I'm the same as you had one to a previous relationship, we broke up when little one was 2 months old and I met my husband when little one was 14 months.

 

[maybenum3]

Yeah its tough, there was a 5 year age gap between my two children now, as it stands there will be atleast an 8 year age gap if I try for another. Is it too much?

I had really bad pregnancies both times aswell. I had really bad sickness and fainting with my first but it was 100x worse with my daughter. I had hyperemesis from the minute I found out I was pregnant. Ended up on a drip for a week in hospital, and she was back to back also so had a really rough time in labour.

I am 90% sure I want another and before its too late, but these things are putting me off. Im not sure I could go through another pregnancy like that with 2 children to look after and a job too.

Arrrghhhh hahaha its so tough

xx

 

[Donna88]

I think it sounds like you do want another.

Every pregnancy is different so you might not be as ill with another one and at least you're children are older so they will also understand and can help you and your partner a little more if need be. I don't think 8 years is too big an age gap, like I say I was worried about the age gap with mine too but have since heard plenty of others with similar gaps.

 

[Jolly81]

This really is difficult as finances are so subjective and one person's right may be another person's wrong time.

But with regards to age, I'm 36 and am planning baby no.3 with my husband- he's 53 in November!!!! We have an 18 month gap between our first two who are now 5 and 3.5 and it has been sooooo hard! Obviously we wouldn't change them, but if all goes to plan my youngest will be at least nearly 4 when baby no. 3 comes along.

Basically, a slightly larger age gap has sooo many benefits. My only concern would be will i/you want baby no4 to even things out

 

[WinterWolf]

32 is definitely not too old to start trying again. Lots of people don't even try for #1 until later than that!

At school I teach two 12 year olds who's mums just had babies, so there's a 12 year gap there!! Older kids (generally) want to help with a baby and I think seeing that relationship would be so sweet. It sounds like you know what you want to do though x

 

[Princess81]

Hello!
I'm just about to start TTC number 2 with my (soon to be) hubby and he's 10 years younger than me. I will be 37 in August and I was 30 when my son was born, so there will be at least a 7 year gap.
It's daunting, the money prospect is daunting too. I earn a lot less now than when I had my son but I guess I'm just going to wing it. I'm not sure there is ever a perfect time. There's always something else you could be doing or spending money on, but ultimatley you deal with what happens as it happens!

 

[Vintageling]

Hi hun I've no personal experience but my partner he has a 6 year gap between him and his eldest sister and they have a great relationship