Unexpected pregnancy - third .. mixed emotions

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by Twinkle14, Aug 26, 2016.

  1. Twinkle14

    Twinkle14 New Member

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    Good evening ladies,
    I have searched and searched the web for advice, but haven't come across anything that I think may help.

    My husband and I already have two wonderful children , girl 5 and boy just turned 1. We are very content with one of each and after being a complete monster in my last pregnancy, we both said 'that's it, not doing that again!' (Lol)

    However, we have now got ourselves in a sticky situation. My husband and I both have mixed feelings about this pregnancy(found out today) (day of missed period)
    I think we are both secretly a bit chuffed of the prospect of having another baby but we are trying to be logical and practical and at this stage of our lives, we just don't think it will work.
    Obviously, if we decide to keep baby, we would make it work because that's what we do :)

    It sounds terrible selfish when I am writing it here but I need outsider opinions or advice. Financially we are OK, not great but not poor. We both work, girl is in school and I currently flit between a nanny and mother in law for childcare with my boy. However, we would definitely have to move to a bigger home, but I am not sure we would be able to afford a bigger home. (We rent)
    There are other financial worries but that's normal I guess.

    I also want to consider my daughters feelings, she has a great bond with her brother but as she is at school now, she doesn't get as much one to one time and this has seemed to make a slight impact on her. Of course I reassure her as much as possible. She's my world and would never want to feel second best or left out.

    I had an abortion when I was a teenager, my mother made the decision and it's always been in the back of my mind. Hence why my daughter is my world as I feel she filled that void. With my son, oh he is a handful but when you hear him laughing and being cheeky, my heart just melts. I love my children but can we cope with another baby, reliving pregnancy, birth, sleepless nights...

    Core, I've rambled on haven't I!!!

    Any advice or anything will be greatly appreciated :) xx
     
  2. kumber

    kumber Well-Known Member

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    We're on baby #3, we were actively ttc but didn't expect to catch immediately. We are in the same situation re house and finances, the reality for us is that we're not going to be able to move so we'll all be a bit squeezed in. We have said, push comes to shove, the boys or the baby can have our bedroom and we can have the living room on a sofa bed. As you say, you make things work :)

    Even if not planned, I think if you're reluctant to terminate then don't. I do understand your worries about your daughter but I think all parents of more than one child feel the same as you do so try not to beat yourself up :)

    Congratulations :)


     
  3. Twinkle14

    Twinkle14 New Member

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    Thanks for your reply!

    I think I am worrying too much. Since yesterday, obviously it hasn't left my mind and every time I do think about it, it's more like maternity leave and the birth etc, you know future planning arrangements.. I think that has pretty much made my mind up for me.
    Maybe it was just the shock plus hormones, I'm not sure. And let's be honest, when IS the right time for a baby?! Xx
     
  4. Lulu1983

    Lulu1983 Well-Known Member

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    Hi. Totally understand the space/ money worries. Myself, my husband and our one year old have lived with my parents for the past ten months. We just found out we're expecting our second. It was a big shock, but we'll figure it out.
    You'll find a way to make things work. People adapt well. It's why we are the dominant species on earth.
    (I'm chilled about it but my husband's still freaking out a bit. :p )
     

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