Under pressure to stop breastfeeding

[keelie_b]

basically Dylan has colic and screams between 6 and 12 nearly every night. the only thing he seems to want is the boob. hes not just comfort sucking though i know he is actually taking the milk. he can feed for hours on end though which is difficult when im tired its also making me feel quite weak, he also still feeds every hour through the day.
He also has reflux and as i understand it he would probably be better on a stay down formula.
And i have mastitis for the 2nd time and i have a doctor on the way today as i cant even get out of bed.

What would you do? friends family and OH just keep saying enough is enough, my health has generally not been very good for the last few weeks. i've upped my food and fluid intake but i still feel quite flat and dehydrated.I want to keep breast feeding i just dont know whats best. i know continuing to breast feed is not whats best for me but even with the reflux i still think its whats best for Dylan but i just dont know anymore im so run down.
would really appreciate any advice at all feeling quite low xx

 

[Naterjack]

I know what i did, i stopped, and it was (for me) the best thing i did - although i cried with guilt as i would have loved to carry on.

It really is a decision you need to make yourself hun - i know its hard - many people told me to stop , even on day 2 as i was really struggling, but i carried on to 4 weeks and i am very proud of myself for that - but as i said, things have been a lot better since he went onto formula (you can also have infant gaviscon to put in the bottles for reflux which would probably help)

You need to weigh up the pros and cons hun, yes breast is best for baby, but you also have to think about your own heath and sanity, and would he suffer from being on formula ?!?!?.

Good luck with whatever you decide

 

[ninjawomble]

I know what i did, i stopped, and it was (for me) the best thing i did - although i cried with guilt as i would have loved to carry on.

It really is a decision you need to make yourself hun - i know its hard - many people told me to stop , even on day 2 as i was really struggling, but i carried on to 4 weeks and i am very proud of myself for that - but as i said, things have been a lot better since he went onto formula (you can also have infant gaviscon to put in the bottles for reflux which would probably help)

You need to weigh up the pros and cons hun, yes breast is best for baby, but you also have to think about your own heath and sanity, and would he suffer from being on formula ?!?!?.

Good luck with whatever you decide

Such a good reply I completely agree, its up to you hun.
You need to look after yourself as much as LO, dont let anyone make you feel guilty..no matter which way you choose to go

 

[debecca]

basically Dylan has colic and screams between 6 and 12 nearly every night. the only thing he seems to want is the boob. hes not just comfort sucking though i know he is actually taking the milk. he can feed for hours on end though which is difficult when im tired its also making me feel quite weak, he also still feeds every hour through the day.
He also has reflux and as i understand it he would probably be better on a stay down formula.
And i have mastitis for the 2nd time and i have a doctor on the way today as i cant even get out of bed.

What would you do? friends family and OH just keep saying enough is enough, my health has generally not been very good for the last few weeks. i've upped my food and fluid intake but i still feel quite flat and dehydrated.I want to keep breast feeding i just dont know whats best. i know continuing to breast feed is not whats best for me but even with the reflux i still think its whats best for Dylan but i just dont know anymore im so run down.
would really appreciate any advice at all feeling quite low xx

Like the others, I can't give you advice on the breast/bottle issue as it has to be your decision.

However, I did want to say that you need to take care of yourself more at this time. Let others look after Dylan during the day if you can and make sure you share colic duty (this is an advantage of the bottle). You are unfortunately a prime candidate for PND as colic and reflux are real contributing factors. Don't get me wrong, I'm not condemning you!!! But seriously, get as much sleep as you can and try to chill. Dylan WILL outgrow both the reflux and the colic and soon you will be able to enjoy him just for him

Thinking of you

 

[valentine]

I have no experience with colic, but would assume that he wouldn't be any better on any kind of formula as breastmilk is so pure and made specially for him. I may be very wrong though.

I know your own health is struggling and I'm sorry - I hope you manage to come to a decision that works for you.

Valentine Xxx

 

[debecca]

I have no experience with colic, but would assume that he wouldn't be any better on any kind of formula as breastmilk is so pure and made specially for him. I may be very wrong though.

I think Valentine is right in most cases, but the exception to this is when your baby is lactose intolerant. However, you say Dylan cries at the same times every evening so it's most probably colic. I would err on the side of continuing to breastfeed as you won't be able to switch back the other way as easily and also you won't suffer guilt on top of everything else.

Just my 2p.

 

[kmac]

I didn't have colic or reflux to deal with but my LOs weight wasn't going up, no matter how often I fed him or expressed milk - and believe me i tried!! I was getting very sressed and run down too.

Last week I decided to switch to giving some formula and some breast - and i haven't looked back tbh.
I feel one thousand times better and am starting to enjoy having him, which I wasn't before. Also my husband can do some feeds. I just feel like the pressure is off, and we are all much happier as a result!

It's up to you but don't feel bad. You have to look after yourself.
I know where you are coming from

 

[mumtotwo]

Hi Keelie, I just thought I'd share with you what I was told by a breastfeeding specialist. This may not apply to you as it's obviously based on my problems at the time.

Breastfed babies can get colic but it is rarer than in bottle fed babies. However, some breastfed babies can get symptoms which are the same as colic/lactose intolerence - i.e tummy pains, crying, unsettled, comfort sucking. This is sometimes because baby is getting too much fore milk and not enough hind milk. The fore milk contains more lactose which can cause pain for baby. Unfortunately it's a vicious circle because when baby has tummy ache they want feeding more often. We got into the habit of swapping breasts frequently because he was feeding so often. If he is feeding out of hunger you can try to use the same breast for each two hour period to ensure he gets the hind milk. Also I was advised to hand express the initial let down - partly to make the hind milk come through quicker - and partly to stop baby swallowing so much air as this can also cause stomach pains.

If any of this sounds familiar to you, do you have a breastfeeding counsellor or a supportive HV who you could discuss it with? I didn't have reflux to sort out at the same time so I'm not sure whether this advice would still apply as my circumstances were a bit different. Good luck x

 

[Charlie:-)]

Hi Keelie

Sorry youre not enjoying breastfeeding at the moment and who can blame you with teh problems of mastistis and constant feeding, you are doing really well and you are giving Dylan the best possible start by breastfeeding. You say you would like to continue breastfeeding but you are unsure, have you thought about contacting someone for some support on the breastfeeding side? It may help you to make up your mind, they may be able to suggest some things that may help to releive teh constant feeding or colic. You could try contacting La Leche League or an NCT Breast Feeding Councellor, someone will even come to your house to help and offer you support if thats what you want.

Honestly though you are doing really well and problems like this tend to take care of themselves in time, how long is anyones guess but sometimes its a matter of perseverance which can be really draining on you. You have already mentioned that your health is suffering so you need to decide whats best for you and for Dylan.

Here are some weblinks for La Leche Leauge and NCT Breastfeeding councellors so you can get some help

http://www.laleche.org.uk/pages/about/helpline.htm
http://www.thebabycafe.co.uk/Help.htm (This one has lots of links)

 

[beanie]

Its such a personal decision that only you can make it. Me personally I always say go with your heart, if it is saying you want to breastfeed then stick with it - this stage won't last forever even if it does feel like it. It honestly does sound like oversupply to me as opposed to colic (i.e. getting too much foremilk) - has the block feeding helped at all?

Have you got a baby cafe or breastfeeding group near you, I found them really helpful.

 

[daftscotslass]

totally agree with what everyone said.

In terms of him being better on a stay down formula, I would disagree as breastmilk is easier for him to digest and kinder on his tummy but then there are other mums who have used it and found it great.

Have you got a baby cafe or breastfeeding group near you, I found them really helpful.

As I said in another thread though my LO was originally on a different formula rather than breastfeeding, comfort/staydown milk seemed to make Becky worse. I would hate for you to make the huge decision of stopping breastfeeding only to find that he is exactly the same or worse on formula.

You know that we will all support you whatever you decide to do

 

[keli]

Are you still taking your pregnacare tablets? I stopped a mth or so ago and started to feel really run down so i started taking them again and i feel alot better. You do need to eat and drink well if your BF remember your making milk so you need energy! Good luck with whatever you decide

 

[keelie_b]

thank you all for your advice and support. i think i will see a proffessional expert in breast feeding and see if they can help but how do i go about it? and whats the best option, a specialist, breast feeding cafe, la leche league (not sure what that is, will have a look at the link in a min thanks) or a support group? Do i just ask the HV about these?

And with regards to switching to formula, what would YOU do? i wont take offence either way and would be interested to know what other people would do and thier reasons thanks xx

 

[beanie]

thank you all for your advice and support. i think i will see a proffessional expert in breast feeding and see if they can help but how do i go about it? and whats the best option, a specialist, breast feeding cafe, la leche league (not sure what that is, will have a look at the link in a min thanks) or a support group? Do i just ask the HV about these?

And with regards to switching to formula, what would YOU do? i wont take offence either way and would be interested to know what other people would do and thier reasons thanks xx

Ask your HV for details of any breastfeeding support groups in your area, or go on here for details of your nearest baby cafe. Alternatively you could phone the NCT helpline (0300 330 0770) to speak to a counseller.

As for what I would do, well I would stick with breastfeeding. But I am writing that from the POV that I have gotten through the tough times, and I don't have my baby getting upset during feeds. I really believe in the benefit of breastfeeding and I do think that with the correct guidence and help you too could have a great breastfeeding experience. But whichever way you do go I will support you as much as I can.

 

[keelie_b]

thanks Beanie.
Do you enjoy breast feeding? i really want to be able to and it upsets me that such a wonderfull amazing thing is beggining to feel like a chore. i know that sound terrible but im so tired and feel so poorly. he gets so upset and fussy when feeding and its just so damn hard. i want it to feel special again and need hope that if i stick this out it will get better because i dont think i've got another 5months+ of feeding like this left in me. xx

God my posts are depressing!

 

[mumtotwo]

When I had my first baby I really wanted to BF. I struggled and didn't ask for help - to be honest I would go so far as to say I hated it! I stopped and switched to formula after a few months but even now, several years later, I still have guilt issues. With this baby I've found it much easier - still with its problems but a far more positive experience. I think it shows that every baby is different. I'd like to think that if I had the same problems with my first this time around then I'd still carry on BF - but to be honest I can't be sure of this as it made me so miserable! This sounds very like how you are feeling now. If stopping is what you think is best then that's absolutely fine. However, please consider how it would make you feel as once you've decided to stop it's very hard to reverse that decision.

 

[valentine]

And with regards to switching to formula, what would YOU do? i wont take offence either way and would be interested to know what other people would do and thier reasons thanks xx

Its easy for me to say, but I wouldn't switch quite yet. It doesn't sound like YOU really want to, you just need some support and help. Its fairly easy to switch but nearly impossible to switch back (relactate) if you change your mind.

Why not go down the support route and see how that goes. Are you taking Sanatogen Pro Natal or Pregnacare or similar?

Valentine Xxx

 

[Becky]

All I would say is stop when you are ready to not because someone else thinks you should.

Personally I found breastfeeding my daughter the hardest thing I've ever done because there were a few issues to get over but also the most rewarding once those issues were resolved.

Saying that, I believe that what Dylan needs most is a happy mummy so if you think that moving to formula is best don't beat yourself up about it.

 

[sparky]

just wanting to add bottlefeeding a reflux baby is no walk in the park either, you get just as much fuss...although you can standardise things with milk bottles and its easier for the meds..it wont be a 'cure'.

I would seek help as everyone has stated, and speak to the docs to get a referral to a peadtrician re the reflux xx

 

[nori]

Hiya hun,

If i were you i would get as much support as you can from breastfeeding counsellers and if you are still having lots of problems THEN stop. I only say that as i had such problems coming to terms with my decision.

Whatever you decide hun you will get tons of support on here.

Claire x