Twice the work or half the battle?

[Mamafy]

Just a question for the single mummies or who were single mummies

Is it easier coping solely on your own and having no interference or having support but grief in your ear about the way you do things?

 

[FebMum2Be]

I havn't experienced it myself, but my friend said that when she and her OH broke up she found it a lot easier.. In saying that he was as useful as a chocolate teapot.. He was more work for her xx

 

[Mamafy]

See I'd imagine if you were in a particulary crappy 'partnership' it would be easier to go it totally alone

 

[FebMum2Be]

Definitly the case for my friend, she had 2 pregnancies back to back and he didn't give her any help or support at all, emotionally or financially.. But she is doing fab now

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

i'm finding it a lot easier, but then i am living with my mum but that has its own problems!! i cant wait to move out and get on with it on my own, 2 under 2 is so much easier than havin a 30+ year old baby to look after too

 

[Mervs Mum]

After I got over the emotional difficulties associated with any break up / divorce, I found the whole experience a wonderful one. I found it difficult adjusting to being in a relationship again after where Emily was concerned. I liked that I was the persona making all the important decisions but I didn't really realise that until someone else was there to share in that. I decided how to raise her, discipline her, feed her, educate her.....everything and when someone else (hubby) became a permanent feature in her life after years, it took some adjusting to.

I loved my 8ish years as a single mum - I learned a lot about us both.

 

[ChloesMummy]

Sometimes I think it was sooo much easier on my own with Chloe, but sometimes it is nice just to have someone to come home to and take some of the weight off (even if it is a half hearted attemt at the hoovering or piling things up in the corner to make the living room look tidy)
I still find it hard to include Gary into making decisions and just expect him to parent my way.

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

omg i so know what you mean about letting OH have a say in decisions about parenting! i was so so bad at it, it was just, i'm doing htis and you've got to go along with it

 

[Mervs Mum]

You're gonna LOVE being a single mum then!! That's the big advantage!

 

[Toonlass]

I found being single easier tbh. If there is someone available who could be helping but isn't helping, all the chores leave a bad taste in your mouth (iykwim) but when your on your own there's only you available to do it so you just get on with it. Plus you have one less person to worry about when there is no over grown boy child to look after.

I warn my OH about this often when he isn't pulling his weight, so thats everyday lol xx

 

[Me, My Girls & I]

i was always getting told i took more notice of weird women off the interent that i ddint know that him and it defo is easier knowing there isnt anyone there to help, rather than waiting for the help off someone and not getting it!

 

[Mervs Mum]

 

[Mamafy]

Hey we're not weird well ok maybe he was right about Lisa but the rest of us

 

[ema-lou24]

i found it tough to begin with but that was due to financial problems and i missed the company, but then i got my life back on track and enjoyed my own company with my little man.
went to college, got a good job and got to spend tme with my son, it was excellent.

now that im with my OH, i dont think i could do it again, my son loves him to bits. its hard having a relationship cos its not just yourself u need to think of, and involves alot of sneeking around lol.

but getting rid of my sons dad was defo the right desicion for me, he was just a shit, and only person i have to argue with about the way i bring MY son up is my mother, she seems to think she gave birth to him lol x

 

[DonSelf]

Two way street really! It's annoying to have someone outside your life to have influence in yours - especially if you've been hurt in that relationship. On the otherhand, I think if circumstances are ok, it's only fair for the kid too to know who the father is as well.

We have built a nice realtionship with my son's father. Trust me, I did it all for my son - lot's of adjustments. Othervise, I hadn't heard of him since tough we had a long ride together before the split...

 

[MrsR]

I found it much easier on my own. That sounds awful doesn't it?! x I could choose everything on my own nit checking what anyone else's opinion was! x I think I find it harder being with OH because being on my own taught me to be tough and independant and I never had to share my baby (selfish huh) and I feel ungrateful because I know slot of men aren't very supportive during pregnancy and my OH is really supportive and does everything for me! x x

 

[DonSelf]

I found it much easier on my own. That sounds awful doesn't it?!

Not really, I do understand you rather well. It is easier. No schedules, agreements, uncomfortable agreements etc. I know where youäre coming from.

Still, since there was nothing 'wrong' with my son's father, I decided to go threw the hazzle - for him (my son). I find it better for him to have this connection in his life.

 

[Wobbles]

No it doesn't Helen ...the biggest kid of the family unit is usually more of a handful and makes more mess the only thing they don't require is their rear end wiped

 

[Mamafy]

No it doesn't Helen ...the biggest kid of the family unit is usually more of a handful and makes more mess the only thing they don't require is their rear end wiped

I'd be kinda worried if I was having to lift my oh's legs and give him a once over with the johnsons

 

[x_MrsE_x]

I found it alot easier on my own, when my ex left my eldest was 14 months and youngest was 6 weeks old, i first thought omg how the hell am i gonna cope but it was the best thing that ever happened to me, i loved being a single mum, when i got with my hubby i found it really hard to share responsibilities, i wouldnt change it for the world now though, lol