Trying to conceive

[Kelbot25]

Hi all,

I am new to this but thought it might help to chat to other ladies qho are going through the same as myself. I came off the pill (Cerazette after about 9-10years) back in July 2016. I miscarried very earlier on at end of August so must have fallen very quickly after coming off the pill - since miscarriage and after 'trying' every 3 days nothing as yet. I have read a couple of threads and it seems and is nice to know that I am not the only one who thought because both myself and my partner are young, healthy fairly fit (we are both a bit over weight but nothing to drastic and we are quite active - long dog walks etc) that we would fall again fairly quickly and compared to some we have hardly been trying for anytime really buy its so frustrating. I have been taken pre pregnancy vitamins, cut down on caffine and eating better etc. We put having a family on hold due to work circumstances and to be honest I am a worrier when it comes to money etc but now my fiance is in perm employment and has recently had his 30th birthday we decided it would be a good time to start trying. I also feel like everyone around me is either pregnant or having babies and i feel awful as i feel so upset for myself when i should feel over the moon for them. I never thought id frel this way but since the miscarriage i feel as though i cant think about anything else. I feel upset all the time and i am convinced there is something wrong otherwise why haven't we fallen again yet?

Thanks so much for listening and sorry about the essay.

Kelly xx

 

[CoolNoMore]

Hi Kelly!

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage, that's rough, especially so early. Unfortunately/fortunately, they are common, and it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong at all. It's ridiculous how heart-breaking this process can be, while still being 'typical'.

Whatever you do, don't get worried about it not happening yet. I am starting to come to terms with the fact that it can take up to a year with nothing wrong (ungh). I've been going nine months now, and all I hear is, 'it's not even been a year, calm down!'

I'm sensitive to other people's pregnancies too. It's tough, especially when you find out that they 'weren't even trying!' Ho hum.

I didn't realise how hurtful smalltalk can be until I was ttc. Someone mistook a toddler I was fawning over for my own child, and asked if he was a good sleeper. Suddenly I imagined this alternative universe where I was the one tucking him in, trying to get him to eat, getting him dressed, and the words 'He's not mine, I don't have any children' were really painful to say. I was half ecstatic that someone thought I was a Mum, and half destroyed that it wasn't true.

You're not alone, Kelly. Take comfort in the fact that you're young (unless you're marrying a MUCH younger man, in which case, yippee!) and that it will almost certainly happen at some point. Probably in the next six months! At any rate, if Janet Jackson can be pregnant at 50, we've all got a chance!

 

[elsa16]

So well said CNM.

Sorry, Kel, that you've been through a miscarriage. I had a miscarriage in July and if anything I have found it makes me more impatient about everything.

Similar to what CNM said - I am always asked if I have children or want children. I get tempted to scream back YES! I do want them and I've had a bloody miscarriage and all I want to do now is be pregnant and see a baby on a scan!

unfortubately, there is so much truth in a year being a very normal amount of time to get pregnant. We will get there, and I am always questioning why we haven't fallen again. Probably, there is nothing to worry about and if we relaxed it would do us the world of good.

I find this forum really supportive and helpful xxxx

 

[Keelygracey]

CNM, I love your posts they always make me smile!

Kelly, you are certainly not alone, I started TTC in July too after being on the pill for 9-10years. I also had a very early MC on my first cycle which I was told is quite common and was probably just down to it being a 'bad egg!'.. I chose to see it as at least that means I can actually get pregnant (I hope!) I'm now onto my 5th cycle and for the moment quite relaxed about it all, Everything I've read says most healthy couples conceive within 5-6months but it can take up to a year and sometimes longer but I never worry about anything until I'm in that position - 5 months is still early days! Me and my partner are both 27 and like you would say well generally healthy and within a normal weigh range. We try to do the deed every other day then a few more times to cover my fertile window... and then I just keep my fingers crossed!! lol I'm CD13 today so waiting for O (which I think is the worst bit of it all!)

I really hope it happens for you soon! xxxx

 

[Kelbot25]

Hi CNM - thank you and yeah it is heartbreaking but seems so common as you say - its strange isnt it. Yeah thats what I have been reading to but I think sometimes you dont want to believe it do you - I just think I'm doing everything I should be so how come I'm not pregnant yet?! Nature is a funny old thing isnt it?! Yeah definatly - I feel embarrased I am still trying when someone says they didnt even try makes me feel inadequate in some way if that makes sense. Oh I can only imagaine how hard that must have been and the mix of emotions you felt being in that situation. Yeah I'm 25 and my partner is 30 - I am impatient when I decide to do something its hard when you have no control over it. Oh I really hope so. Thank you for your reply and good luck to you and your partner. Sounds to me that you will be an amazing munmy when the time is right xxx

Hi Elsa 16 - Oh absolutely! When I first came off the pill the intention was to 'just see what happens' however after the miscarriage I think it made me realise how much I wanted a baby and I'm obsessed & ridiculously impatient now! So sorry to hear about your miscarriage also - its heartbreaking. I cant believe how much I can relate to what you have said - I feel exactly the same not many know about my miscarriage and I couldnt tell you what it would mean to me to see that little bean on a scan and to hear the little heartbeat Yeah I am beginning to believe that a year is 'normal' I just hope to god that ut doesnt take that long for me or you lovely ladies. Yes me too but I really hope that we do in the not too distant future! Yes you are probably right! Thank you and I already feel better just from this one post and couple of replies! Good luck! You will be an amazing mummy when the time is right! Xxx

Hi Keeleygracey - We seem like we are totally in the same boat! So sorry about your miscarriage too - its heartbreaking no matter how early in the pregnancy it happens. I was also told it was a bad egg and I totally felt 'etleast we can actually get pregnant' however I have started to question why we havent fallen again since Yeah you do right being relaxed is really good for you and your right what is the point in worrying about something until its there it is hard though isnt it?! I am yet to start testing for Ovulation and was just seeing what happened following the miscarriage and wanted to get cycle straight following miscarriage to get a more accurate Ovulation date too really. Good luck and hope it happens really soon for you. Thank you - yo will be a fab mum when the time comes! Xxx

 

[Keelygracey]

Hi Keeleygracey - We seem like we are totally in the same boat! So sorry about your miscarriage too - its heartbreaking no matter how early in the pregnancy it happens. I was also told it was a bad egg and I totally felt 'etleast we can actually get pregnant' however I have started to question why we havent fallen again since Yeah you do right being relaxed is really good for you and your right what is the point in worrying about something until its there it is hard though isnt it?! I am yet to start testing for Ovulation and was just seeing what happened following the miscarriage and wanted to get cycle straight following miscarriage to get a more accurate Ovulation date too really. Good luck and hope it happens really soon for you. Thank you - yo will be a fab mum when the time comes! Xxx

Thats so sweet, thank you. Definitely get yourself some ovulation tests! I just use cheap ones from ebay and test once a day from about CD10 onwards.. My ovulation date changes from anywhere from CD15 to CD17, which I would never have known if I didn't test. Just keep reminding yourself of the facts, at our age we only have a 20% chance every month which in reality is rubbish!.. a good percentage of women get pregnant within 5-6 months so I'm giving myself that time before I start to stress!! lol.. xxx

 

[Kelbot25]

I will definatly have a look - thank you. Yeah I wouldnt have a clue to be honest so would be useful. Yeah it really is rubbish - I didnt realise that was the statistic to be honest. Yeah I have read that too and I am so hoping that we fall into that catagory cos anytime really and that gives me some hope but the disappointment when it doesnt happen is really heartbreaking. Your right though we shouldnt stress until we get to that time but its hard isnt it xxx

 

[Keelygracey]

It is hard, I am very up and down one minute I'm full of positivity the next I'm worried and stressing! It's a rollercoaster. Where are you in your cycle at the moment? xx

 

[Kelbot25]

I feel like I mostly have down days to be honest �� well the only proper period I have had was last month which was after my miscarriage so I'm not sure how accurate it is to go off as I'm not sure if my period was slightly earlier or later following the miscarriage and hormones etc getting themselves back to normal but going off last month I should be due on around next Thursday. My boobs have been a bit tender for the last day or so which also happened a week before my period last month too so I'm thinking that will be about right xxx

 

[Keelygracey]

It may take a couple of months to level itself out again.. I stopped taking my pill well before we were TTC so I never really noticed a change in my period or anything but when your TTC you seem to notice every little change.. tracking your cycle will really help. I use an app called OVIA, it's really helpful to keep a note of dates etc.. I can't rely on my symptoms as they are different every month, the only time I really noticed anything different was when I had the early MC and my boobs were so heavy, they ached when I walked! xxx

 

[Kelbot25]

Yeah maybe. I had an exit bleed and then I had the miscarriage after that so I've only had 1 proper period which was last month and I should be due on again next week. Oh yeah absolutely I've noticed loads of changes since coming off the pill but some symptoms between pregnancy and period are so similar I have found that I get my hopes up a little that I might be pregnant but I'm not i'm due on - I think because I havent had a period for like 10 years its hard getting to know your body again in that way and what is normal for you. I will have a look at that and get some cheap ovulation tests - I've got the clear blue one but its really expensive at £20 for 10 tests. My boobs were really sore before I had the MC but they were also really sore when I had my period last month so maybe that is normal for me now. Xxx

 

[Keelygracey]

Did you take your pills back to back when you were on them? I had normal periods when i was on the pill I think that's why mine didn't change at all. Yes the clear blue ones are so expensive, the cheap ones work just as well for me! xx

 

[sarahmc89]

Dont mean to butt in, but I highly recommend the OVIA app for keeping track of O dates. Ive tracked my cycle for about 3months now since we started TTC after coming off the pill. I spoke to my GP who did tell me the exact same as what everyone else has said "not to worry it can take up to a year as you're still young". She told me that OPK sticks aren't all they are cracked up to be, but I know some ladies on here swear by them, so they could be a good shout especially if your cycles aren't too regular yet.

But back to my point, the ovia app does also have some really interesting information on there about tracking your temp, checking your cervix and discharge etc to pick up signs of O.

I hope anyway that coming on here puts your mind at ease a little bit that you aren't alone at all, and we are all here for a chat when you need it

 

[Keelygracey]

Your not butting in at all don't be silly! The Ovia app is the best one I've used too, my cycles are very regular so I only use the opks for about a week until I get my positive but like you say if your cycle is in regular you might have to use them all the time which just becomes stressful. xx

 

[Kelbot25]

Keeleygracey - yes I was on the mini pill - I had an exit bleed about a week after I came off the period and GP said you get period back straight away as it was only a single hormone pill as soon as you come off but after that I had MC so unsure if that would be accurate as that could have thrown things out a bit. Had a period last month and I should be due on next week too. Yeah thats what I thought so I'm going to get some of the cheaper ones to try xxx

Sarahmc- Hi, thank you I have just downloaded the OVIA app so will definatly see how I get on with that over the next few weeks. Yeah it has and its really nice to know I'm not alone! Thanks very much xxx