trying after miscarriage

Discussion in 'Forum Friends' started by Little Miss Joslyn, Sep 18, 2005.

  1. Little Miss Joslyn

    Little Miss Joslyn Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    533
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi, Im Nichola and im new to this forum. I have been with my partner for eleven years and have wanted a baby for the last five years but my partner wasnt ready. We both decided to start trying last year and I fell pregnant straight away but sadly I miscarried this April. Since then I am finding it hard to conceive and im feeling worried as I was told after a D and C I would be more fertile! Has this happened to anyone? I have just handed in my notice at work as I am totally stressed out and now im worrying I should have stuck it out for marternity benifits! I would have been on my merternity leave now and my baby would have been due the day I start my new job. maybe its an omen. I hope so as im approaching thirty and desperatly want to be a mum.
     
  2. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Nichola,

    So sorry to hear about your m/c, I hope you are beginning to feel like you can look forward and to the future...
    I have a very similar story.. I met my "ideal" partner 3 years ago and now I am 36 [he's 34] and earlier this year we decided the time is right to think about a family, I too fell pregnant straight away - we were so overjoyed but unfortunately I m/c at 8 weeks in August. That was my third m/c [others were 12 years ago and unplanned pregnancies so not quite so devastating as not Mr Right etc!!]

    I am just about coming to terms with it all and thinking about trying again but like you I feel very anxious about the future and whether or not it will every happen for me and if I am able to get pregnant what if I m/c again.. I don't know if I could bear it but I am running out of time so I want to keep trying and hoping for the best.

    I know its easy for us all to say but try not to worry as we have to let nature take its course, maybe your body needs more time to recover and return to normal, maybe the stress of it all is preventing you from concieving.. you need to relax and find yourself again and then you will be ready body and soul.

    I know we have little control over these things and that is so frustrating but don't give up hope and even though your baby didn't make it you are still young enough to keep trying.. so many women are still conceiving into their 40's!!

    take care
    x
     
  3. Little Miss Joslyn

    Little Miss Joslyn Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    533
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Anna Marie,
    Thanks for your reply and so sorry to hear about your sad loss. I am trying to relax more as I am little miss stress! You are right and the time will come when our bodies are ready and when we are not trying too hard. Im off to Egypt soon so hopefully i will come back a mummy!! They say time heals but I cant stop looking at babies and pregnant women which hurts but our time will come. I bought a tropical fish in memory of my baby and it swims about by itself which gives me comfort. Some, write a poem or plant a rose but its personal to you and the memory goes on in another form of life. I hope you fall pregnant soon but give yourself time until you feel ready because men dont understand and have their needs but your body needs to be strong again.
    Good luck,
    Love Nichola xx
     
  4. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Nichola,

    Lucky you going to Egypt.. I would love a break somewhere hot and relaxing... our little lost bean was concieved during a weekend break in Italy so when I am ready to really really try again I will plan another like that and hope for the best..

    As for your fish.. what a lovely idea.. I have 3 cats so a fish is out of the question but I have just planted a lovely little Acer Tree for our lost bean in the garden and hopefully that will flourish.

    I too am sad when I see babies and pregnant women but also very happy for them, I always wonder if the mums to be realise how lucky they are and how precious their little bumps are too!!

    You are right about time - it does heal, when I posted after my m/c I was distraught and couldn't see the future let alone trying again but now I really want to try and try and try again and hope that one day I will be a mum!

    take care
    x
     
  5. Lorrie

    Lorrie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2005
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Nicola I'm so sorry for your loss in april. I too lost my first baby in May at almost 4 mths preg. I've been sorta tryin for last 3 mths. Nothing yet but I'm not trying too hard. Life gets in the way sometimes.It's a tough time & it's hard to go on as normal but I comfort myself that I'm not on my own & I know our day will come. It's hard not to get obssessed about everything but I was driving myself mad so I'm trying to live a little now & start to try & enjoy life again. Exercising a little , making love when we feel like it.Be good to yourself. Baby dust to you. Keep in touch.Lorrie xx
     
  6. rach

    rach Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Aug 7, 2005
    Messages:
    7,915
    Likes Received:
    0
    hello and welcome to the forum im sure you will find everyone very friendly and welcoming i certainly have :D
    im so sorry about your m/c hun
    good luck with your new job and ttc i hope you get your bfp real soon
    sending you loads of baby dust
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  7. Anna Marie

    Anna Marie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2005
    Messages:
    1,153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Lorrie I am sorry to hear about your m/c - I feel like you, trying to take each day as it comes and hope that we will be lucky again soon. I am ttc but as you say trying not to take it too seriously [although difficult not to!] I am now exercising again and enjoying the odd drink etc so one step at a time I guess...

    take care and enjoy yourself
    x
     
  8. Lorrie

    Lorrie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2005
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thanks Anna Marie sorry you've been through m/c too. Thanks for your kind words, we have to stay positive even though I admit it's hard sometimes. I tend to allow myself a little cry whenevr I feel like it, then dust myself off & get going again. Talking & laughing, keepin in touch with everyone here helps so much too. Baby dust storm to you. Lorrie xxx :)
     
  9. Little Miss Joslyn

    Little Miss Joslyn Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    533
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi girls, thanks for your kind words and support. Im sorry to hear about your m/c too Lorrie. Its comforting to know that others have been through it but I was told it is common in most first pregnancies so there is HOPE for all of us. I work in house of frazer on Dior and had to make up a woman who held a four week old baby today but I just looked at her and thought , that will be me soon. A few months ago I would have felt numb and cryed but it proved to me that everyday makes you stronger and i really hope you all get pregnant soon and we can move on to the pregnant forums! Glad you are keeping yourselves busy and it will happen when we are not expecting it!
    Best of Baby luck
    Nichola xxxxxxxx
     
  10. Lorrie

    Lorrie Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2005
    Messages:
    196
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Nichola, that was a tough one for you. It's true though that each little scenario we encounter with children it gets that little bit easier.My brother's friend is a nurse & he said the same about first pregnancies. He said the first pregnancy was like a dress rehearsal for the next preganancy & that your body would be more accepting & wouldn't b in as much shock from it. Hope he's right. Hopefully wee dont have to wait too long next Summer would be nice wouldn't it :D xx
     
  11. Little Miss Joslyn

    Little Miss Joslyn Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    533
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Lorrie
    Glad to see you are pregnant. I havent been on forum for a while as I stopped ttc before my holiday which was cancelled so ttc again. Feel like I have lost precious time and now my man is out of work but we cant keep putting it on hold! I just wanted to congratulate you. Nic xx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice