Too nervous to go to doctor

[Lula_belle]

Hi - I'm new to the forum and new to talking to anybody about this apart from my OH. My OH and I were TTC for almost 2 years and in January, we finally got a positive test result. According to my dates, I'll be 12 weeks on Friday but I'm yet to go to the doctor/get in touch with midwifes etc.

It's driving my OH mad, but I am just too nervous to go. I know it must sound really silly but I'm just worried that once I go, our lives wont be our own anymore. I'm a private person and I don't want midwives or doctors coming to my house etc. It's our first pregnancy so I have no idea what to expect of any appointments, but everything I read keeps saying they visit for appointment before and after and I am just not happy or comfortable with that.

It's also complicated by the fact that I'm not registered with local GP. I moved eight years ago now but being as I'm only 15-20 mins from my old GP, I stayed registered there (to my Mum's address). My GP is great... and they have been brilliant with any problems I've had over the years. I really don't want to change. My brother is with the local GP I should be with, and he (and everyone else I know), say they are dreadful and very impersonal.

Does this mean that if I stay with my current GP at my Mum's address, they are going to want to visit there?

I know the whole situation must sound really silly in the grand scale of things but both issues are preventing me from even registering my pregnancy with the doctors. I don't know what to do but obviously coming up to 12 weeks now, everything I read says I should be having scans and blood tests etc....

 

[wifeywifey]

You can refuse a home visit with mw if you want meaning you wont have to change gp. Also you really need to go asap so you can have it 12 week scan, this needs to be done by 14 weeks max I think.

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[claire671]

Hello Lula, welcome to the forum. I didn't want to just read and run but don't know I will be of any help.

I am in a similar situation as you at the moment, I was registered with an excellent GP practice where I used to live and have now moved back to my old house. The GP practice here is awful, had a ridiculous amount of bad experiences with them and just knew there was no way I was going through this pregnancy with them. (My first pregnancy resulted in a mc and the practice where I used to live were amazing with me).

There is a way around this, I'm not sure where you live but you can write a letter to the Practice Manager explaining that you feel much more comfortable with the practice you are with at the moment and that you would like to remain with them until your baby is born. I think the main issue with GPs is the home visit in emergency situations, so if you can state that you are happy not to have a home visit then this should be ok. The Practice Manager will then make a decision if you can remain with them.

It is so important that you see you doctor as soon as you can, if you are nearing 12 weeks then yes there will be some blood tests and scans that need to be done to check both you and baby are well. I haven't had a child so not sure when you would have your first home visit but I'm sure this isn't until well into your pregnancy giving you time to prepare. It is a scary time and you will appreciate the support of the midwives, I can assure you.

Best of luck, and hope all goes well. xx

 

[SARAHSTAR]

Hi Lulu! I'm quite new here too so I'm still learning as it's also my first!
I think the most important thing at the moment is the health of yourself and your baby.
It might seem scary but if you could let the doctor near your Mum know your situation I'm sure you'll feel much better especially if you know him/her - I doubt they'd make you move if you explained your fears.
I've not had much contact from anybody so I wouldn't worry about loosing your privacy - it's something that will become less of an issue for you later on in pregnancy I expect!
I really think you'd feel better if you picked up the phone and got the ball rolling - think how exciting a journey its going to be when you get to see your bubs on a scan for the first time!
There are lots of us here for support if you need us but you should definately speak to someone professional for the wellbeing of both of you. Hope it's been a little bit of help!
Keep us posted!
Sarah x

 

[Laura_C]

I would say make an appt with your doctor, get pregnancy registered etc and have an honest chat about how you have now moved but would feel much more comfortable continuing to be registered at your current practice - even if it is just until the end of your pregnancy. Just say it is causing you some anxiety at the thought of being under a new doctor you aren't comfortable with at this time. The government are pushing for a system whereby you can register at any practice you choose, not sure when this is coming in but if you play the patient choice card I expect it would not be a problem. Just be adamant as a patient it is your choice to be treated where you feel comfortable.

With regards to home visits, I never had a home visit done by my first midwife until my baby was born but I did for my booking appt with my last two pregnancies. It depends on your area, these were different areas. X

 

[Spinneygirl]

Hi Lula and welcome to the forum. Its quite understandable you being nervous but you really need to go and see your GP who will refer you to a midwife. There are certain tests that need to be done and they will need to book you in for your 12 week scan. Hope all goes well xxx

 

[Lula_belle]

Thank you all. I know I need to go... I've been putting it off too long due to the visits and GP situation.

I was wondering if I could refuse a home visit as wifeywifey mentioned but i wondered whether they would think that was odd.

I did speak to the GP a while ago, probably a couple of years ago now and mentioned I was thinking of moving to see what they said. They said if it was in the same area, it wasn't too much of a problem but if if was into another PCT area, I would have to change to a doctor in that area. The doctors here are dreadful, and I know it's hearsay, but it's hearsay from a reliable source if that makes sense. My brother wishes he hadn't changed.

What will the doctor say/do at a first appointment. Will it be a doctor or would it be a midwife? What should I expect?

 

[Laura_C]

From previous experience I have made an appt to see my doc, told them I have had a positive pregnancy test. They have always said congratulations that the home preg tests are probably much more accurate and sensitive than the ones they use so that I was pregnant. They ask you for the date of your last period and then work out your estimated due date. Sometimes they get you to sign a form for your prescription exemption card too as you get free prescriptions and dental care when pregnant. They usually tell you to book in with the midwife or they can do that for you. You will usually need to see your midwife by 8 weeks for your booking in appt so they can request 12 week scan from hospital xx

I think if you refused I would wonder why there was an issue, so I suppose a MW would feel they same. Obviously they hand over to a HV once baby is born and they would have to visit you and baby at home - they have a responsibility to do this, it's their job. They are there to support you and ensure the welfare of your baby. They won't be wondering round your house having a good nosey, they just want to see baby is developing well and mum is well xxx

 

[Spinneygirl]

All that my GP did was blood pressure, weight, check my pulse and listened to my heart. The midwife will properly book you in, where you will forms in, urine sample, medical history, she will either take bloods herself or send you to the hospital and also book you in for any scans needed xxx

 

[Jayjay027]

If you were TTC for 2yrs, u should have been well aware that you would need to see ur doc or a mw to register the pregnancy!

Also, I moved 30mins away from my GP but just changed my address with them as I wanted to stay with them. And the only home visit I'll get is by the health visitor when the baby is born!

I don't really understand why u haven't been to see anyone to be honest, and for the sake of ur baby and its health, u should just bite the bullet and go!!

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[Loula]

With JayJay on this, its soo important to go and register the pregnancy. How youve managed to get this far is beyond me i was far too impatient and wanted to get the ball rolling at 6 weeks but my local EPU said to wait.
As for GP practice, my whole family are at the same practice and i live out of area and should change but really dont feel the need to so i havent declared it although i think i may have to soon although they shouldnt get rid of you during a pregnancy.
I havent heard about anyone coming to the home before baby is born, not sure how di be about that either.
Get on touch with docs and let them book the scan as someone else has said some of the tests have to be done by 14 weeks.
Look forward to hearing your progression x

 

[Water_Melon]

You should have got your bloods etc done weeks ago!
Go ASAP!
Im a very private person too but I've accepted the midwife with HAVE to be allowed into my life. That's just how it works x

 

[Loula]

You should have got your bloods etc done weeks ago!

Mine got done at 13 weeks as i didnt see a midwife until 12 weeks and all is fine, think it depends on practice and things.
Defo wouldnt leave it any longer though x

 

[mrz85]

you really need to go and get registerd for the sake of u baby ! x

 

[Lou12]

Water_Melon - I didn't get my bloods done until 12 weeks when I had a scan and booking appointment at the same time. Every area is different.

Lula - First of all welcome to the forum, and congratulations.

My first appointment was with the doctor who simply referred me to the midwife and for my 12 week scan, and gave me a prescription for folic acid. My next appointment wasn't until the scan which was also my booking in appointment - they did my bloods, BP, weight, height and such. My next appointment is when I'm 16 weeks, and my midwife has a clinic at my GP surgery, so I'll be going there.

As I say, every area is different - tbh I assumed I'd only have a home visit if I needed one (if I was ill and literally couldn't get to a clinic)?

 

[mrz85]

i got my booking appot at 8 weeks scan at 11 weeks and another 1 was at 13 also got my bloods done b4 12 weeks

 

[cosmicgirl]

I didn't have a midwife visit but can only echo what the others have said.
Once baby is here you cannot decline health visitors coming for home visits. They need to come in the days following your birth to check on you and weigh baby. They legally have to check that baby is living in a suitable environment. They would be über suspicious if you tried to stop them coming IMO.

 

[Jayjay027]

I wonder if she's seen the doc yet??

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[Tara1985]

Hiya and welcome to the forum.

Agree with the ladies but understand why you are nervous to change from a great gp to a shoddy one. I was in a similar situation when I first moved out of my mums but gp caught me out when he got referral notes with my new address on it. He told me nicely to register in my local area!! Now you have baby on board your gp WILL find out so best to just get it over and done with or move back to the local area if you can as it seems very important to you? x