Toilet training - single mum

[Mummy to one]

Hi ladies,

I'm not sure where to put this as it kinda fits into a lot but I am a single mum to a 3 year old boy who is almost 3. His dad is not really in his life and I get no help from him at all. I do have a lot of help from my family which I completely appreciate and probably could not cope with out but when it comes down to certain miles stones that I really have to do on my own I'm struggling.

I work full time and when I get home I just want to see my boy rather than constantly being stricked with him. I have 3 main issues which I am struggling with -

My first is bed time. I can't for the life of me get him to sleep in his own room. I know this is very common and I did struggle when he was younger but it was a lot easier in a cot because in a bed he can just follow you. I've tried constantly putting him
Back in which stresses him and me out because I get up very early for work. I've tried sitting with him until he falls asleep but he gets up with in an hour again. My new idea is doing up his room to make it exciting again but it's such a struggle.

My second is the dummy. I know it's a minor thing but he barely used to use one and lately he has became dependant on it. He goes literally crazy if he decides he wants it and doesn't get it. I feel so bad not giving him it and watching him scream like crazy but he doesn't give in. He's very stubborn.

Finally my last and biggest concern. He has been out pull ups for a long time and has been dry through the night also for about 6 months but for the life of me I can't get him to go for a poo in the toilet. When it comes to that he needs a pull up on or will force him self to hold it in. I have no idea what to do! I've spoken to my health visitor and they suggested taking him into the toilet and putting the pull up on for a while so he associates the bathroom with the toilet but he won't even go near the bathroom. I think a lot of my problem is he gets a lot of what he wants and we have always been very soft on him so he really thinks he's the boss now but I just don't know how to get a handle on things again with out being the mother from
Hell. I don't want to be the bad one all the time

Any advice with any of my problems?

Thank you

X

 

[Mummy to one]

Almost 4 sorry x

 

[Robyner]

Just wanted to say hats off to you, i totally admire mums that are doing this single handedly.
My dh works away lots and we both say it must be such a strain for single mums to be doing this all the time.
I dont really have any advice but i know the toilet thing is stressful as we have been going through this too.
I really thought we had cracked it after 3 poos on the toilet but my lg has gone back to only doing it at night in her pull ups. I just keep getting told it will happen eventually.
Ive managed to wean her off the dummie in the day but no way will i attempt it at night, she would just be heart broken. I dont know when we will tackle that one.
I think the sleep thing must be the hardest as you need to be up for work, must be so hard.
The idea of doing up his bedroom sounds good! We have a lamp on a timer, not because of the dark, but because she loves to look at books and at the moment loves listening to cd stories until she falls asleep. Also on a timer now due to having the same stories going round and round on repeat. I think the gruffalo could now be her chosen subject on mastermind!!!
Always remember how brilliant you are doing and what an amazing mum you are xx

 

[JamsMom]

Hi, I see this post is from August, did you resolve your issues? If not I'm happy to pop some pointers on here (I'm a behaviour analyst). Just don't want to write a novel if you've already sorted it all out!