Time with OH

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by emilia, Feb 22, 2006.

  1. emilia

    emilia Well-Known Member

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    Hi girls...
    I've noticed that some of us get our babies off to sleep quite late on in the evening.....
    I remembered a friend of mine's daughter, would never go to bed well after 11pm - even at the age of 2 onwards, it was always late to bed. The trouble later on was that my friend never had evening time with her exhausted husband and when they wanted to go out on the odd occassion, it was a nightmare for them. It was very stressful when I would babysit. Also, the child would only wake late in the mornings, which meant that she was always late at get-togethers ie. toddler group etc.
    My point..... are we picking a stick for our own backsides? Should we work on an earlier bedtime routine or aren't you too worried? I'm curious, as I saw how much my friends marriage sufferred from lack of time for one another.
    Just looking for your thoughts on the time you spend with partners in evenings?
    Emilia xx
     
  2. beanie

    beanie Well-Known Member

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    I was getting a bit worried about this so we have started putting seren down earlier, she now sleeps at 9.30pm. However it is a difficult balncing act as OH works quite late and wants to spend time with her. We have managed to make time for each other by letting his mum babysit once a week so we go out for a meal or a drink etc and that has made a vast difference (even if we end up talking about Seren)
     
  3. amyknight88

    amyknight88 Well-Known Member

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    careys always been put to bed at about 11/11.30 i just assumed he wouldnt sleep before then as he always stayed awake. I put him to be at 9pm a few days ago and by usually around 9:40 hes flat out and sleeping through to 6/7 now. its rare for him to wake during the night since hes been on hungry baby milk. im rambling..

    when he was going to be later he was waking up through the night more and was a lot more grumpy in the mornings since his early nights hes sleeping through and much happier come morning time :d

    I was also worrying about the late nights so im glad i gave the early nights a try
     
  4. BubbleOne

    BubbleOne Well-Known Member

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    I was worried about this when Phoebe was younger.
    She used to stay up until atleast midnight. When she got to 6weeks old I decided to try putting her to bed at 9pm. It took a couple of hours for the first 2 or 3 nights but then she started to tell me when she was ready for bed and now she goes up for her final feed at about 6.45pm and thats it until she wakes up at about 6.30am.
    I think it's important to try getting them to sleep earlier. Not only so that you can spend time with OH but so that you can do a bit of housework in peace and also so that you are preparing them for when they have to go to nursery and school. Never too early to start trying :lol:
     
  5. Rosebay

    Rosebay Well-Known Member

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    I agree with Bubbleone. To start with he went to sleep at about midnight, then we went through a week or two of him really crying and fussing between 9 and 11 and we realised that he was over tired. We moved it to 9pm for a bit but we still had about two hours of crying and fussing before that so we are now in the process of trying a 6.20 feed and then in bed by 7. It has worked for the last week, he generally drifts off and is asleep by 7.45 without crying but today our routine was thrown out majorly by a baby massage class and I've just had the old problem again. What seems totally crucial is only 3 1/4 hours sleep between 7am and 7pm. I don't really keep to the routine that strickly, I often shift it half an hour to an hour here or there but I think today he slept a bit more and that's where it went wrong. Ho hum.

    Anyway before today it had been great and I think it's really important to have some time with each other and also on your own when you're not actually asleep! Also by the time it gets to evening I've done most of the tasks I've got to do so I can actually have some time to read a book or something without dashing off to do something else.

    The only downside is having to get up at 7am every day, even Saturday and Sunday :(. Oh for the day when I can lie in- I'm not even sure I'm capable of one anymore, it's been so long (sniff! can you hear the violins?)

    +++
     
  6. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

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    I think that a lot of the babies are maybe going down a bit late. Thats easy to say now but we didnt have Jessica up past 9 after the first few weeks. It was always bath bottle bed and now its paid dividends as she goes down like a dream but everybaby is different.
    My oh worked late when the wee one was a small baby but I still had her down early as she knew the drill and expected it. Its a shame for dad but I think throwing them out a routine because dad is working late isnt good for baby or dad if dads getting to see a cranky baby.
     
  7. hearts81

    hearts81 Well-Known Member

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    I see my OH for 2 hours in the day :cry:

    He goes to work early morning before i get up and he in bed at night when i get in from work.
     
  8. Rosieroo

    Rosieroo Well-Known Member

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    I had a chat with DH about this last night as it was 11pm by the time we got to bed after putting Ella down at 10.30. We don't get chance to sit and chat properly in the evenings anymore. So we're going to aim to get her in her cot upstairs for 9pm at first and see how that goes.
     
  9. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

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    Its really tough when the baby comes as you do miss the relationship you had with your oh before the baby but with time, there is another one waiting to develop. Its very hard when oh is working mental hours.
     
  10. Lauz_1601

    Lauz_1601 Well-Known Member

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    reading this has made me relaise I should put Ella down earlier, its usually about 11. my only question is, if I put her down at say 8, and she slept through then she would be missing out on her 10.30 feed! How do you make up for this? or do you wake them when you come to bed and give them a final feed?
     
  11. lauramumof2

    lauramumof2 Well-Known Member

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    hi lauz, you might not even need to wake her, they have a natural ability to drink while sleeping but some folks said their baby just couldnt. Even changing her could be done without waking her too much. Jess got a sleepy feed when I went to bed and eventually the nappy wasnt even wet so I didnt even change her.
    Good luck
     
  12. Kim

    Kim Well-Known Member

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    What about trying to feed her more times during the day so she doesn't need a night feed? This is what I am trying to do. Rubie was only asking for 4 feeds per day and 1 or 2 in the night, so my HV suggested feeding her every 4 hours even if she doesn't ask for it. This means she has 5 feeds during the day and hopefully wont need one in the night. Trying it for the 1st time today - fingers crossed... :?
     
  13. Hypnorm

    Hypnorm Well-Known Member

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    Ewan goes up to bed around 7.30 - 8. and it works quite well - we now have a routine where he will wake for a feed at 5am then he will sleep till 8-8.30 we get up and he has his rusk plus a yogurt at 9, then he has some dinner and a feed at 12ish then a feed at 3 then tea and a feed at 5.30 -6 we will either bathe him at 6.30 or take him upstairs at 7 and change him in to bed clothes read a story give him another feed and put him in to bed. he will then wake around 11 for another feed. so thats generally works ok, mean i get a bit of my own time plus hubby time. i go to bed around 11.
    ewan seems to get tired around 7 anyway. he doesnt always go down easily...!
     
  14. Strangeness

    Strangeness Well-Known Member

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    Ds used to always go to bed at around 10pm but I have now cut him down to around 8pm. I just have certain times when I know he will have a feed and it times out about right. Sometimes they go off track a bit and it'll get to 9pm before he's asleep but it's all good :D
     
  15. Lauz_1601

    Lauz_1601 Well-Known Member

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    Iv heard about the dream feed but Iv tried this and Ella will not take a feed whilst sleeping, she will not open her mouthand even if I can get the bottle into her mouth she will not suck. Maybe I should try giving her more feeds in the day, her routine has gone a bit pear shaped at the moment she had a bit of a growth spurt but has settled down now so I need to try and establish it again.
     

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