Thoughts please

Discussion in 'Long Term TTC & Fertility Issues' started by phonixgirl, Jul 23, 2016.

  1. phonixgirl

    phonixgirl Well-Known Member

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    We went out today and had a lovely time. I try not to be critical of other parents as I know it's really hard and I'm not even a mum (hopefully I can add 'yet' onto that!). However, today I saw something that really upset me.

    We were sat by the river on a bench having a drink. There was a fence next to the river to about waist height and there was a large grassy area on which the benches were placed. As it was such lovely weather, it was quite busy. I noticed a little boy standing against the fence looking at the river - I reckon he was about 18 months old, as he was a lot smaller than my niece. He was certainly no older than 2. (He was safe because the fence was taller than him.)

    Then I noticed his dad run over. The family weren't English and he started shouting at him then picked him up by one arm and took him to what I assume to be his mum. She was shouting even more and smacked him twice. The little boy was balling his eyes out. These were big whacks with a good noise - not just a little tap.

    The man went back to the riverside and climbed over the fence - I realised he was looking for something and the child must have dropped it in - a teddy? A dummy? Her bag maybe? The man was very keen to get whatever it was back.

    The lady carried on shouting at the boy and 10 minutes or so later hits him again on the arm.

    5 or so minutes later the man reached into the river and got out what the child had thrown in... The woman's sunglasses.

    I know I was smacked as a child and it was completely acceptable back then, and I know that some parents still do it which I get. But I couldn't help thinking that poor little boy didn't understand the consequences of what he was doing - he was too young - and if they do that in public, what must go on at home? And it was over a pair of sunglasses that could be replaced no matter how much they cost, plus the man got them back (the man did comfort the boy but the woman made no attempt whatsoever).

    I told DH it upset me but he said they might not be like that all the time and I really hope he's right.
     
  2. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    Aw Katie :hug: it's so hard to witness these things and not get upset. At 18 months the wee one really wouldn't have understood what he'd done was such a big deal! I've smacked my son before but to be honest it was more like a reaction, he yanked my hair and I'd smacked him out the way. I felt so much worse than him! For the mum to do that and then hit him again 10 minutes later is really sad :( she's thought about it and went back for more. I really try not to judge parents though, I know first hand you never know what's going on or what's happened over the day. But I don't condone that to a baby and going back for more.

    Try not to overthink it hun, it'll drive you mad. I see child abuse in work a lot and it's something I just have to leave at work! I'm sure they aren't like that normally and have just had a very bad day and unfortunately the baby has taken the brunt of it. Just try to imagine the little lamb sleeping happily now :) xx
     
    #2 MrsS15, Jul 23, 2016
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2016
  3. Sugarpop

    Sugarpop Well-Known Member

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    I know exactly how you feel. When we went on holiday there was a toddler (around 2-2half ) unattended by the swimming pool. She was dangerously close to falling in. Her parents had walked seperate ways and had no idea that she wasn't with them. That day I was on tenter hooks ready to jump in and pull her from the pool. Even the lifeguard who had done little work up until that point was ready to dive. It's so sad
     
  4. phonixgirl

    phonixgirl Well-Known Member

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    What is it with people?! As I said, I really try not to judge because I know kids don't sleep and it's tiring work at the best of times. I also get that some people smack, some don't, but three times to a child that young and that hard was a bit excessive I thought. I am thinking he is usually happy and they were having a bad day.

    It really made me think about adoption though... xx
     

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