Think I'll be leaving you soon :(

Wasn't sure where to put this post as I'm in first trimester and also know so many on the new mums board, so I pasted it into both.

Mark has told me he doesn't want the baby. He wants Damien to have more time to himself and doesn't think he could have another baby now. I, on the other hand, think it would be great to have a baby close to Damien. Hard work yes, but worth it.

I just don't think I could have an abortion, I really couldn't do it. Emotionally it would ruin me. But I think if I don't I stand to lose Mark. I asked him if he would be upset if I couldn't do it, and he said he didn't know.

I haven't even been to the docs yet and had the pregnancy confirmed. I'm not sure if I want to book in with my midwife and then change my mind a week later.

I know you can't really help me, I just needed to tell someone and get it off my chest. My head and my heart are very torn right now and I'm not sure what will happen. I wish I'd never been put in this position again, not that I have anyone to blamed but myself.

 

[skatty]

Sami,

I am so sorry. I don't know what to say. I only know that everything happens for a reason so I am sure you will make the right decision together.

Sorry I can't help but you know you always heve all the support you need here.

Lots of Love xx

 

[rach]

sami hun i dont know what to say am sending you loads of hugs and i hope you and o/h can sort things out whatever you decide to do hun be sure its what you want for yourself and not just for mark dont be hasty take your time and do what is right for you we will all be here to support you whatever you decide be strong hun xxxxxxxx

 

[lmwarr]

Sorry just posted congrats on your other post. I think you really need to do what is best for you. Dont just do things to keep people happy otherwise u may regret it for a long time. It will be a hard decision to make take some time out spend a few hours on your own to think about things. x

 

[Sarah&Braydon]

awwww hun i had this with Braydon i refused and lost my OH but that was me - i hope things all work out ok for and if u need to tlk to me u know were i am

 

[Amanda]

Oh Sami, I am so sorry. This must be awful for you.

Is Mark worried about you after the problems you had carrying Damien? Does he think that if you are ill, then Damien will miss out? Did he give you a reason, or was it just a flat 'I don't want another baby'?

Think of the shock you were in when you found out that you were expecting again, and treble it. This is what Mark is feeling. He is worried about you hun. Us mums find it easy to bond with the new life growing inside us and can block out any problems it may cause. The men don't have the life inside them, they just have the worry about both the baby and us. He may be analizing things too much.

At the end of the day, he has just proposed to you so is planning on spending the rest of his life with you. If you make the decision to keep this baby, it will hopefully bring you closer once he comes round to the idea.

We are always here to listen.
xxx

 

Thank you Tankett - I do worry I say too much on here and people get fed up with me. Mark is worried Damo will miss out I think on just time with us I think. He just keeps saying 'I want the best for Damien' and 'I wanted to wait till he was a year old'.

Men

 

[amy]

i feel so sorry for you hun, at the end of the day its your choice, if you do go through and terminate ( horrible word sorry ) will you hold it against your partner in the future.if you feel you can cope then i would go for it, thats my personl decision though. i had to make that decision a few years ago, after my daughter was born i was young and my partner was in the navy well my ex now. i made the decision not to keep my baby, i regret it now as my daughter is 8 and all though she has a half sister ( 6 months old ) she could have had a closer brother or sister. i listened to other people and not myself. its tough bringing up children , yes, but if your ready to have your family then mentally and physically you will be. i was pregnant a few weeks ago sadly i m/c . i was scared as i have a young baby as well, i thought to myself should i keep the baby, will i cope? lots of qusetions went through my head, but at the end of the day it was my decision.... what ever you do make sure its what you want hun take care, sending you big hugs at this difficult time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 

[lisa31]

Hi Sami

I think Tanketts right - Mark is probably still in shock, and I know I dont know him or you, but I doubt he would leave you if you made the decision to keep your baby - this must be an awful worrying time for you and in no way should you say you have no-one to blame but yourself - it takes two tango!

Really hope things get worked out and I am sure whatever your next steps are they will be the right ones for you all as a family

Remember we are all here to listen and support you when you need it

L x

 

Just an update - me and Mark are talking about things and sorting them. Another baby is another life changing thing for the both of us. We are talking and things look better, not perfect but better.

Thanks to everyone for your messages and for helping me through this difficult and awkward time.

 

[rach]

aww im glad you and mark are sorting things out hun keep talking and good luck to both of you xxxxxxx

 

[Amanda]

I'm glad you are talking about things hun. I know some men are ostriches and bury their heads in the sand rather than talk about things, but it sounds like you have a good one there! He is only worried about how you'll all cope, and also about your health.

I'm sure things will work out well in the end.

xxx

 

[lisa31]

Hope things work out for you soon Sami

L x

 

[Anna Marie]

Hi Sami,

I wanted to post on here yesterday when I read your messages... but to be honest I just did not know what to say when it seemed everyone had read my mind and posted my thoughts already - as Tankett said [very wise woman you are Tankett!!] Mark is just so worried and a bit freaked out.. just become a dad and its all a bit overwhelming I expect.. he said he wants to wait for D to be 1.. well he will be almost 1 by the time this little one is born so not so off the goalpost!!

I am glad you are getting somewhere with talking it through.. it is a big decision but I am sure you will both do what is best for all of you.

Take care xxx

 

[budge]

i had my first two girls really close together and im so glad i did. Thry had each others company and it was so lovely watching them grow up together.
True Damien will have to share you but having a close sibling is a gift in itself from you and your husband. i hope things work out for you and do what you feel is right for all of you.

 

Hi thanks for your post. Unfortunately I started to miscarry this morning so there isn't a need to make a choice anymore. x

 

[ree77]

Sami I am so sorry this is happening to you!!! Sending (((((hugz))))) your way.

xoxo Ree

 

[hayley]

sami - you've had a rough time over the past few days! take it easy. Look after yourself - Wish there was some way of giving you some comfort. Just want you to know i'm thinking of you...
x

 

[Gemma & Jake]

Hi sorry to hear about your situation. I do think you should carry on with the pregnancy or else down the line you will probably resent your partner for asking you to have an abortion. I wouldn't abort my baby for anyone. Good luck with whatever you decide to do though.