things we'll miss..I got sad!

Discussion in 'Third Trimester' started by blueberrybaby8, Mar 22, 2016.

  1. blueberrybaby8

    blueberrybaby8 Well-Known Member

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    something really sad just occurred to me...i blame the hormones and the lack of sleep but I got quite emotional and sad! don't get me wrong I couldn't be more excited to meet my little man and have him with us every minute of everyday. but it suddenly dawned on me, that I haven't thought about loosing time that me and my partner spend together, just the two of us.
    sounds silly..but we're one of those couples that are very close, and miss each other even though we're in the same room but don't get to be our cuddly 'I love you's' selves. (sorry that's soppy isn't it) it's the small things I mean..just enjoying getting into comfy's and settling down to watch the programmes we like all snuggled up and have our jokes and everything.
    I guess with all the baby preparation I'd forgotten all the things we may take for granted that we won't be able to do as easily anymore. Mummy and daddy mode from now on, just wondered if I'd miss the partner he once was...just him as Chris not daddy.
    My partner has a daughter from a previous relationship who we have very often which is nice, we collect her for Easter holidays middle of this week, so I realised these last couple of nights might be our last! having her with us and then baby possibly showing his face early.
    Like I said..our family time will be amazing and I can't wait, we're so lucky that the two of us will become a magical number 4..just wondered if anyone else had these thoughts :) things we're going to miss or little things like that Xx
     
  2. kkheartsbaby

    kkheartsbaby Well-Known Member

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    Aw try looking at it differently.... don't see it as the things you'll miss but the greater things you'll gain from this that'll lasts for a life time :) I'm sure you'll have a wonderful little family together xx
     
  3. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    We made a point to have date nights still - even if it was just in the house for a while because we had baby but we'd set every sat as movie and takeaway night.

    We also made some us time when baby went to bed at 8.30 and except the odd feed for a while things were just the same.

    I think the time issue came when I went back to work, suddenly your trying to do it all - but with everything you just gotta get the balance right. Always make the effort to have nice time with both, but also, make new memories with your family time. Jackson is now 3 and we still do date night on a Saturday when he goes to his grans. Obviously the balance may be off for a little bit whilst we adjust to going from 3 to 4, but it takes time. Once your settled in yourself and little baby is settled and in to somewhat of a routine your able to plan round and make the effort to balance it out again.

    We booked a long weekend away 6 month after Jackson was born, will probably do the same. It was great.

    It really wont be as bad as you fear.

    xxxx
     
    #3 russellmuscle, Mar 22, 2016
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2016
  4. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    Me and my husband actually spend more time together since having our son, we go on more days out and have more fun... The house is full of toys that we play with after he's gone to bed and it's really good :)

    We still go out for meals - we just get my mum to watch him when we do and we enjoy it more because it's more of a treat for us and more of an occasion
     
  5. blueberrybaby8

    blueberrybaby8 Well-Known Member

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    thank you for your replies, and for making me see things differently. I'm just having one of those days, I feel a bit down and hormonal I think! your right though, time with my family will be even more special and it's about having that balance which we'll work on :) he's already called me from work this afternoon saying about a date night which I can look forward too. thank you Xx
     
  6. Jojo84

    Jojo84 Well-Known Member

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    It is hard... I'm currently having the same kinds of through ta because I'm About to have baby 2 and I'll miss my mummy and boy time when our daughter came along. I know there will be good times ahead but I'm
    Worries about the change
     
  7. blueberrybaby8

    blueberrybaby8 Well-Known Member

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    yeah I think that's what it is...change and letting it worry us, which is natural whether its first babies or second..or third. let's not look at what we'll miss but what we'll gain, like your replies said :) Xx
     
  8. YorksLass

    YorksLass Well-Known Member

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    I've been a bit down about that too - just having the freedom to do what the heck we like! I've been making sure we're doing things like going to the cinema and theatre and to gigs, and in a couple of weeks we're off to Prague for a couple of nights. He's totally the opposite in attitude though, keeps working late, has booked a stupid amount of work in (he runs his own business), so he can afford to take a fortnight off after baby comes. He worries about money more that I do (although his family were much better off than mine were when we were growing up!) and I keep telling him that our time is important too, but he just keeps working. Can't complain, at least he's sensible and thinking of the long term, but I miss him at the moment!
     
  9. Copterpops

    Copterpops Well-Known Member

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    I'm glad I'm not the only soppy one. I hate being away from my OH. He works away for 8 days every 6 mnths and is away just now. It's killing me. I hate not being able to be silly with him every night, and snuggling up beside him to watch TV or in bed.

    I'd love to say it's pregnancy hormones, but it's not.

    I'm looking forward to baby finally being here, and being able to do more things as a 3. I'm struggling to get my head around goijg awaybj August when baby will be 2 1/2 mnths, but it's for his dad's 70th so kinda have to . travelling with a baby is terrifying me.
     
  10. blueberrybaby8

    blueberrybaby8 Well-Known Member

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    that just be really hard copterpops, not sure how I'd manage. yes, just look forward to when your little one arrives and your partners home and spending all that time together.
    I don't blame you being nervous going away, think I'd be the same but I'm sure it'll all be fine. Xx
     
  11. YorksLass

    YorksLass Well-Known Member

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    You'll get through the travel thing copterpops - I imagine it'll be difficult, but doable. I have a friend whose family are all in Germany and they've been taking their little un over regularly to see the grandparents!
    Dammit, my partner told me last night he's booked in two more projects before the birth so he'll be doing more evenings and weekends and I just broke down and cried after he left! It could have been something to do with getting in from work to find the electric had broken and we had no heating or hot water though... one of those weeks lol x
     
  12. blueberrybaby8

    blueberrybaby8 Well-Known Member

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    oh no Yorkslass..that must be terrible. hope you get it all fixed soon, nightmare. as for the partner getting more work, wel think of the money. must be hard though, and don't feel silly about getting upset.
    I did exactly the same last night, had a little cry. we went to bed as normal, and as usual partner falls straight to sleep which so isn't fair! I couldn't get comfortable and got more and more fed up sitting there on my own in the dark so went and slept on the sofa downstairs (much more comfortable) just got me upset thinking the last few days of alone time like I was worried about earlier in thread, we have and he's fast asleep and we're in separate rooms! Tired and emosh...but we're allowed right...Xx
     
  13. Copterpops

    Copterpops Well-Known Member

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    Oh ladies. So much drama just when we don't need it.

    I'm sure we will manage, but I think with it being our first I am just apprehensive. My in-laws don't speak English, and I don't speak Russian, so I am feeling it might be harder than normal.

    I can't wait till the baby is here though. I'm bored of being pregnant now. It's felt like forever.
     
  14. Mel32

    Mel32 Well-Known Member

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    earlier in the pregnancy my husband made a comment that it wouldn't just be us any more and I had a total breakdown and did what my husband refers to as 'Pregnancy crying'. I then think I ended up laughing and crying at the same time (haha I'm a weirdo), it just made me sad to think about the changes ahead.
     
  15. Copterpops

    Copterpops Well-Known Member

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    Pregnancy crying = brilliant. When I've cried over stupid stuff the response I was greeted with was 'I wondered when this would start'

    Men are such weird and wonderful creatures. But I don't know where I'd be without mine. On the upside, he is coming home. He is on the plane as we speak, and I collect him first thing :)
     
  16. YorksLass

    YorksLass Well-Known Member

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    Yep, done a lot of random pregnancy crying. Had the electrician round to fix stuff and I was in tears again about ten minutes before he was due to show up! Had to force myself to stop and then try to pull of an impression of somebody who isn't some weird emotional nutter lol
    At least we have lights now and the boiler is on again!
     
  17. Flo1

    Flo1 Well-Known Member

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    I totally understand. It is different and you have less time as a couple. Even when your baby starts sleeping through the night: you're often too tired to stay up late. We also have regular date nights just for the 2 of us, those are sooo important! You shouldn't worry about going out, though. We take our son everywhere that's not too late at night: we went out for lunch the first time when he was a week old, he had his first wedding (we skipped the evening party) at 3 months... He's now 2y and the past months we went to Disney on ice, an art museum, the Sesame Street musical, several restaurants, a shopping trip and a children's theatre play. If you adjust a bit you don't have to give up that much. :) Some things are different or new, but it's also nice! Like bedtime stories, feeding ducks in the park, trips to the playground... What I'll miss when baby 2 arrives is me-time. With my son, it was me-time that got less, not quality time with OH. Daytime: work and son, evening: time with DH. I don't see how I will have any time left for myself when we have another kid.
     
  18. BadWolf

    BadWolf Well-Known Member

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    I didn't think of this before our LO was born but after she arrived and the initial 'wow we have a baby' wore off, I noticed we had pretty much no time to ourselves as OH was sleeping when baby slept ( a good idea but I just couldn't do it ) and it really put a strain on us. One night around a month old, my parents watched her and we went to the cinema, only away for 2 hours but it did us the world of good! I think it's important to set a time together even if it's just watching a show or a movie whilst cuddling on the sofa. Or a good chat in bed before sleep. We have loads of time together now even though we both work & have a toddler. So just remember it WILL get better, after a few months, don't worry. :)
     
  19. YorksLass

    YorksLass Well-Known Member

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    I'm guessing it's just a case if finding a good routine, careful planning and helping each other!
     

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