The news today...

[Amanda]

Has anyone heard the news today?

Apparantly, women over the age of 35 who have children are 'defying nature'!! I am outgraged!!!!!

If it was unnatural for women to have babies over the age of 35, surely this would be when the menopause starts?? One quote says ' "Women want to have it all", but biology remains unchanged.' They are basically implying that women want to have a career first, then have children later, and this is wrong.

I have one word 'NO'. I had my daughter when I was 22, and after years of failed relationships, married a fantastic man in June of this year, and we are now trying for a child. This is nothing to do with my career, my finances, or my age. I am in love and want to complete our family with another (or maybe more) child(ren).

I am 35, my DH is 24, my daughter is 12 and I feel 20, so what is wrong with me trying to another???

I'm so mad. Grrrrr!

 

[Bagpuss17]

They all jump on the bandwagon with this claim that women want it all. It's rubbish.

You make a valid point, there must be a huge number of women who wait to have children because they haven't found the a partner with whom they want to start a family with. I couple of my friends who are in their late thirties are in exactly that position.

Take no notice.

It's all hit and miss with fertility anyway. I know of several couples who are in their late twenties/30 ish and they are being referred for IVF - it's mad. They are young but are unable to conceive although physically there is no reason why they can't.

 

[jacquidube]

Bugger what doctors etc say, nobody knows our own bodies like ourselves. I am 41 and my husband is 27 and we had our first child when i was 38 and we are still trying for more. I did however miscarry 4 weeks ago but that hasnt put me off. I feel really young and dare i say i act like a child at times. I will be trying for another and i am now so dont believe or listen to what anybody says.....GO FOR IT GIRL.....and good luck.
All my love
Jacqui. x

 

[kellysomer]

I am pregnant with my first child at 23 as i decided i didnt want my career first, this was my decision, my right and my choice (and fiances of course!) we had been TTC since i was 21 and are very happy.

Other women may choose to start a family at 25, 30, 35, 40, 45 and over and does it matter, NO! Again it is their decision, right and Choice!

If the child is loved and eagerly awaited what right does any one have to dictate the mothers creed, age, beliefs or anything else for that matter?

Good luck to all you out there TTC regardless of age and damn the news and their pathetic ideas, if the menopause was meant to come sooner it would!

(Rant over)

 

[hayley]

HERE HERE.......

IT'S NOT LIKE WE SIT DOWN WHEN WE'RE 16 AND SAY I THINK I'LL HAVE A BABY WHEN I'M 25! WHO KNOWS WHEN WE'LL MEET MR RIGHT.....

I'M 31, HUSBAND IS 49 AND WE'D LOVE A BABY.... IF ANY SCIENTIST WANTS TO TELL ME THATS WRONG LET HIM KNOCK ON MY DOOR! I'LL SHOW HIM A HAPPY HOME (when we're not drinking red wine) AND 2 PEOPLE IN LOVE WHO WANT A BABY IN THEIR LIVES....

X

 

[Helen]

I agree. I'm glad you all heard it too, it's made me feel really down.

Both my gynacologist and my doctor have both told me the 35 year old thing which at 32 1/2 (suddenly half years seem to count again) really stresses me out. Then to hear it on the news as well. I KNOW!!!!! Not wonder I'm not conceiving!

I'm sure anyone looking at me from the outside would think I was one of those career women who put things on hold for her job, but it's just not true. I actually use that as a defence mechanism to hide the hurt when people say "don't you want children then?" How can you reply to someone, "well actually I would have liked a whole football team worth of children by now if only life had worked out differently."?

 

[Bagpuss17]

I know what you mean Helen, I'll be 31 in a few months and I'm beginning to get stressed about it all. But then I stop and think about the many women who have babies who are much older than me and don't experience any problems at all. Then I have friends in their twenties that can't conceive. There's no rhyme or reason to it.

I never wanted children in my twenties, not because of my career because I'm not career minded. I have a very good job but it's not the be all and end all in my life I just didn't want children. When I turned 30 my feelings changed and so did that of my husbands and we both felt ready to start a family. We're in a good position financially at last, we've been married for several years and have a good stable family life to offer a child. That's why we are late in starting a family. You can't win!!

 

[Lorrie]

What they seem to forget is that you have to be able to afford to have a child. Sometimes people are only starting to get financially comfortable & mature in their early thirties. Most women have to work now & not always by choice to be able to afford a mortgage rent etc. & whena child comes along there's childcare on top of that another mortgage in itself. I myself would have loved to start a family in my twenties but my lif didnt work out that way. Does the media not realise how hurtful their comments are. Life is not Black & White.
Lorrie

 

[Bagpuss17]

That's so true Lorrie, my husband and I were discussing this last night. We really struggled financially as the majority of people do when they first set up home etc..It's only been the last couple of years that we've really been comfortable and have disposable income. I think it's responsible to wait until you are set up financially before rushing into starting a family.

As you say, it's not black and white.

 

[Lorrie]

Here here & what do they know anyway everyones different they must have been stuck for something to write about. It's old news today so we wont let the feckers get us down