The HV visit went well:-):-)

[Geordie&Bairn]

Right everyone i give you premission to say

I TOLD YOU SO

The HV had not complaints in fact she was very pleased with Colliers health she weight him and hes a very healthy 9lb 6
she said he lookd happy and healthy that she wasnt concerned about his sore bottom and that he looked lovely

i only get one m ore home visit as the south east NHS can only afford 2 visits per child but i will be going to the nearby clinics

i was concerned id not been making enough milk for him but she said well by his weight you doing a great job and he's defently getting enough.

She did grill me on my personal life ie how id met james why was he up North when we met,how long wed been together, was i ok with moving down here, do my family and his family suport me, have i got friends do i get out and about, when were we going to buy a house where had we been looking and ect ect
this was bit intenses she concetreated on my personal life more then asking about Collier which i found strange
as i thought they came and centered on the baby she hardly ask a thing about him and how hed been the past few weeks

but apart from that its went really well and im so happy that my breast feeding is going so well

im so much happier now and feel more settled in myslef and my abilites as a parent




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Ok i know its silly and im worrying about nothing and 100% daft for it

Please can you tell me what the health visitor looks for asks you how did your go was it positve did it go well???????

the other morning i woke crying my eyes out as i had a horrific nightmare that the health visitor took collier away from m .
I have been concerned as its stuck in my head that health visitors are one step away from social service and that im going to be inspected.
The MW looks at both of us and expects the place to be a mess and the routine not established

but the health visitor will expect more the thing is ive had James here im now starting again establishing a new routine with just the 2 of us now that James is back in Reading.
Im doing well and im impressed with how well its going and ive still manged to get the domestic stuff done too

but im still worried

any good stories will put my mind at rest thank you everyone who replies

 

[mrs_tommo22]

No dont worry about it Sarah - like you i was pretty organised when Imogen arrived and when my health visitor Helen turned up she wa amazed, house was spotless, kids were both dressed and fed and as dressed with make up on!
She just saying how organised i was etc - and i was like yeah but she is my second and i had no complications so dont expect any differnt!

She still takes the mickey now when i see her at weigh ins and shes lovely.

I think most HV expect rhehouse to be a tip, you in a dressing gown with a screaming baby in tow.#

It does good to suprise them.

 

[Sherlock]

They are not looking to see if the hoovering hasn't been done for a few days or if you havn't cleaned the windows Nor are they expecting you to have any kind of routine this early on.

FWIW my HV said and still says that I should not be rushing round cleaning and so on. I should be feeding Galen, caring for him, resting as much as possible and making sure I take care of myself in these early weeks as my body recovers. She said to not fret about housework and getting it all done. Otherwise I'd wear myself out and get stressed.

They are interested in you and baby and how things are going and if you have any problems they can help with (ie struggling to BF or LO develops colic) and to offer advice on things. Also to check LO's progress and record it. Every child has this done, and again please don't fret you have to acheive certain things within the time scale etc of the book. Each child is different and will go at their own pace. Same for growth and feeding. Some grow quicker than others. Its simply checked and recorded to make sure all is well overall. If they notice that a baby is losing weight then for example they can asses and see if Mum is BF'ing correctly and show her if she had been getting it wrong, or if she is struggling to feed, again they can offer help.

Its all about ensuring you and LO are ok and have support if you are needing it.

I found my HV wonderful as I've been pretty much house bound with a few medical issues since Galen was born. She offers support, a friendly face, advice, chats and is very positive about how I am coping with him and my medical probs and keeps telling me I am doing a brilliant job which is good to hear as sometimes I do begin to wonder.

So try to relax about it all. They are not there to judge you, but to support and guide you and to ensure you and LO are doing well. Not to check when you last cleaned the bath

 

[mary70]

my health visitor was fantastic, she had a go at me for doing housework and washing ironing ect, when i was diagnoised with pnd she was brilliant i dont know what i would have done without her support

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

I guess its not so much her thinking the place is a tip but more if im doing it right that worries me cheacking im dressing correctly that the temprature of the rooms is correct that the moses basket it safe that im breast feeding properly and im feeding him enough that hes changed often enough
basical checking up on my abilities to look after Collier makes me feel im walking into my GCSE s again i know a few clothes on the seatte and the hoovering not done it fine but im worried shell pick up on other stuff. lLike ive not changed the sterliser water that night that im not holding him correctly That his scrastch mits fell off and he scratched his face swear im paranoid im going to be questioned grilled and tripped up on my parenting skills

its not the house imworried about it will she think im good enough

 

[daftscotslass]

Try not to worry about it at all. My HV (though I see a different one now at the clinic to the one that came to visit) would just come and ask how I was, check Becky's weight and answer any questions I had (I usually had a list, lol). Apart from that all we did was chat, usually about the best place to buy baby stuff and rant about how expensive everything is

Sarah you're doing a fantastic job as Collier's mummy, a total natural. HVs are there to support you, not scrutinise you so chin up, you're doing great!

 

[-Kelly-]

My HV came for 2 visits - the first time she gave me some leaflets on breastfeeding and safe sleeping and my red book, the next time she just asked me if I wanted him weighed and gave me some information about swimming lessons that I'd asked for. Neither time did she stay longer than 10 minutes and she didn't even look at Oliver, who was asleep in his pram both times! She was a nice person though - don't worry about it

 

[SarahH]

Oh hun!!! Don't be a dafty head.

I worried so much to start with like you - was up early cleaning whenever the HV was due. But then I thought sod it, my child is happy and healthy and it was easy to see.

Over the last 2yrs I have many little arguments with my HV as she is one of these "do everything by the book" kinda person and I am not - I let Arianna guide me on what and when she wants things and she is a very healthy and happy little girl.

You are doing a fantastic job as being Collier's Mummy

 

[Sherlock]

Again don't fret

She isn't there to watch your every move. My HV doesn't watch me change Galen or see how I do a nappy change. The only thing she really *checked* on was to question if he was latching properly as she couldn't see his bottom lip. So she pulled him off my nipple only to get screamed at by him and to see he had been fine on there and was in fact feeding so well my milk continued to spray everywhere I squirted her, Galen and the sofa

If you think you are not doing something as well as you would like, you can always ask her if its ok. I wasn't sure about Galen over my shoulder once he started moveing around lots and liking to lift his head and look round all the time (he did this from just past 3 weeks ) I was a bit worried as he kept knocking my cheek/jaw with his head and she said I was holding him fine, and that babies were tough little things and it probably hurt me more than him. I never once thought not to ask her or that she would think I was trying to hurt him or doing it wrong. She suggested something to make it a bit easier and its been good.

If you are BF'ing them I am guessing you are feeding on demand atm so that should be fine. If he isn't feeding enough to gain weight for some reason she'll not be cross or think you are a bad mother. She'll offer advice and try to help solve the problem.

As for things like scratch mits, they never stay on Galen never wore them, I cheated and bought sleepsuits with roll over sleeve ends that cover his hands and act in place of scrathc mits. Bonus! He's actually never really scratched his face much when not in those sleep suits, but again, if he does I don't panic. It happens and it heals. Babies do that sort of thing when small.

As for the steriliser, I doubt she'll ever look at it. I have a washing up bowl and use Milton to sterilse my stuff. My HV has never asked and never looked at it.

You really are worrying too much. HV's are supposed to support and offer advice and do the health checks all children have as they grow. I think you are reading too much into things and looking for problems that are not there. They are not there to make you feel bad or to grill you or anything like that. If you need to ask something, advice on his skin care, or weepy eyes, she is there for that. So make the most of her and ask away. If anything she'll probably be pleased you are taking an interest and aware of things and trying to find solutions to them if not able to resolve it yourself. Its not a *Failed as parent* for asking for help from her. Its actually a sensible thing to do if unsure of something. Make use of her and don't be afraid to ask if you need help or advice. Better to ask than to start feeling bad about things and getting down. My HV has been brilliant in that respect and has made a huge difference to things with regard to Galen and his feeding and colic. I'm expressing since 3 weeks on her advice and its been brilliant having OH able to do a couple of feeds a day to give me a break. Otherwise I'd have struggled on till 6 weeks and been a basket case.

Erm sorry for essay. I really wanted to put your mind at rest.

 

[laracomps]

I think we drew the short straw with our Health Visitor. The first time she visited she said "the first thing I have to ask you is, I am full of cold do you want me to continue the visit" - bearing in mind my baby was 10 days old!! I was so angry, but she was already in my house so I didn't see the point in making her go. If she had phoned me to ask the answer would have been NO!!!!!

She is alright I guess, but I don't thing she gives that good advice, and changes her mind from one week to the next. Hence I don't really care what she thinks and now pretty much just trust my instincts. Mummy normally knows best.

I worry also about things like Phoebe scratching her face - she has a massive one under her eye that she did last week. Then I tried to clip her nails and ended up cutting her finger. OMG I felt so bad, I won't be clipping them again She would never wear scratch mits, or the sleepsuits with built in mits. My mum said the best thing to do is bite their nails!

Don't worry they aren't there to judge you. These things happen. Both times she came over the place was a tip, I was in my underwear attempting to breast feed - and this was when my husband was around too! I don't think she even looked around the room!

Be prepared for lots of silly questions they have to ask you when filling in the red book.

Btw congrats on your baby! I can't believe how many people who have had their baby that I've missed lol. Hope things are going well and you are managing a bit of sleep at least!

 

[SarahH]

My mum said the best thing to do is bite their nails!

My midwife told me to do that when they are so little. Lots easier!

 

[emma28]

Aww bless you

They are fine, I promise. I was like this the first time too. I had DH up at 5am to light the fire so she would think it was warm enough. We were melting I even asked if she wanted me to strip the baby so she could check I had not been nipping him It's crazy isn't it, all the self doubt we have..I hope it proves we are doing well, that we question ourselves. If we were bad parents we wouldn't think about it.

You'll be great, I know.

Divvent stress man

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

Again don't fret

She isn't there to watch your every move. My HV doesn't watch me change Galen or see how I do a nappy change. The only thing she really *checked* on was to question if he was latching properly as she couldn't see his bottom lip. So she pulled him off my nipple only to get screamed at by him and to see he had been fine on there and was in fact feeding so well my milk continued to spray everywhere I squirted her, Galen and the sofa

If you think you are not doing something as well as you would like, you can always ask her if its ok. I wasn't sure about Galen over my shoulder once he started moveing around lots and liking to lift his head and look round all the time (he did this from just past 3 weeks ) I was a bit worried as he kept knocking my cheek/jaw with his head and she said I was holding him fine, and that babies were tough little things and it probably hurt me more than him. I never once thought not to ask her or that she would think I was trying to hurt him or doing it wrong. She suggested something to make it a bit easier and its been good.

If you are BF'ing them I am guessing you are feeding on demand atm so that should be fine. If he isn't feeding enough to gain weight for some reason she'll not be cross or think you are a bad mother. She'll offer advice and try to help solve the problem.

As for things like scratch mits, they never stay on Galen never wore them, I cheated and bought sleepsuits with roll over sleeve ends that cover his hands and act in place of scrathc mits. Bonus! He's actually never really scratched his face much when not in those sleep suits, but again, if he does I don't panic. It happens and it heals. Babies do that sort of thing when small.

As for the steriliser, I doubt she'll ever look at it. I have a washing up bowl and use Milton to sterilse my stuff. My HV has never asked and never looked at it.

You really are worrying too much. HV's are supposed to support and offer advice and do the health checks all children have as they grow. I think you are reading too much into things and looking for problems that are not there. They are not there to make you feel bad or to grill you or anything like that. If you need to ask something, advice on his skin care, or weepy eyes, she is there for that. So make the most of her and ask away. If anything she'll probably be pleased you are taking an interest and aware of things and trying to find solutions to them if not able to resolve it yourself. Its not a *Failed as parent* for asking for help from her. Its actually a sensible thing to do if unsure of something. Make use of her and don't be afraid to ask if you need help or advice. Better to ask than to start feeling bad about things and getting down. My HV has been brilliant in that respect and has made a huge difference to things with regard to Galen and his feeding and colic. I'm expressing since 3 weeks on her advice and its been brilliant having OH able to do a couple of feeds a day to give me a break. Otherwise I'd have struggled on till 6 weeks and been a basket case.

Erm sorry for essay. I really wanted to put your mind at rest.

THANK YOU SHERLOCK your a star
I feel much calmer now i do beat myself up to much so silly of me

And as to Galen lifting his head Collier does this to it amazes me hes done it quite a few times and he can also fling himself about its a bit scary when he dose it

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

Aww bless you

They are fine, I promise. I was like this the first time too. I had DH up at 5am to light the fire so she would think it was warm enough. We were melting I even asked if she wanted me to strip the baby so she could check I had not been nipping him It's crazy isn't it, all the self doubt we have..I hope it proves we are doing well, that we question ourselves. If we were bad parents we wouldn't think about it.

You'll be great, I know.

Divvent stress man

thank yee emma lass ah will try git hard te calm doon an not stress oot te much. ah divvent knaa why ah stress so much ah think im deein a canny good job. Collier seems happy an healthy an hes well loved an cared fre so im sure aa've got nothin te worry aboot . an the health visitor will be lovely an it will aal gan well.

 

[emma28]

whay aye hinny, yeel see, it'll aal gan canny, nowt'll'be a bofa

 

[1sttimemum]

How was it???

 

[1sttimemum]

How was it???

 

[Geordie&Bairn]

How was it???

Double post Joanne

update first post

 

[Jade&Evie]

We Told You So.

my HV asks a lot of questions about ME too- I think its so they can check you're not a total fruit!

Glad it went ok- fab weight! You are obviously giving him exactly what he needs!

 

[muppetmummy]

glad it went well. I remember being really paranoid about the HV when james was a baby worrying she'd think I was a bad mum. I learnt over time they dont know everything and I knew best as I know my son better than anyone.
| have been having a tidy and hoover in the living room this afternoon cos the hv is coming tomorrow, but I do that when anyone comes round.
I wouldnt like her venturing into my kitchen or bathrooms though, they've not been cleaned properly since logie was born! I keep telling myself logie will only be a baby for 5 mins so make the most of him and sod the cleaning