The "funny" things our birth partners did....

[Jen & Her Men]

I know we have threads on the silly things we said and did during labour and birth but what about your birth partners?

My DH had a couple of gems..

Firstly when I first went into proper labour I called the hospital and they told me to get in a bath, so DH ran it for me...I was in agony with my contractions and pooing it whilst lying there in the bath...next thing I hear is DH downstairs cranking up a bit on ABBA - Dancing Queen on the CD Player and singing it at the top of his lungs!!! He was clearly very excited!!! I had a little chuckle to myself (inbetween contractions) at the differences between the expectant mum in agony and the expectant father having a ball and getting all excited about the imminent arrival of his son! To this day I cant listen to Dancing Queen without having a little shudder but also a little grin too!

Then, my mum came over as the contractions were getting worse to help me and I think Alan was so excited he just couldnt contain himself...I was bending over resting on my mum as the full force of a contraction came over me...and he only came over and smacked me on the arse!!!!!!!!!!! To say I wasnt happy is an understatement... He was very sorry!! He was just overcome with excitement again. Bless.

Then finally (and mum told me this one as i was out of it) I had been having serious contractions for about 20 hours but my waters still hadnt gone. I decided to lie down for a bit as I was exhausted and i was having gas and air. I dont know how but i must have managed to drift off to sleep for 5 mins and apparently he went a bit crazy cos and couldnt believe i had gone asleep and just kept saying to mum "whats happening now then?! Shes gone asleep!!" and was very affronted that I had managed to close my eyes for 2 mins!!!
It was the calm before the storm though cos the next contraction i had was huge and it broke my waters. He was so excited he came and sat right down next to me....and got p*ss wet through by my waters in the process

After all of those events i renamed him Frank Spencer....


So come on girlies, any of you got any funny stories about your OH's / birth partners??

 

[keli]

Lol no i haven't but yours are cracking

 

[SarahH]

Errrmmm...

chucking the midwife out and asking for a replacement must be at the top of the

 

[LisaJ1986]

My OH daren't even speak!
He once said "You're doing so well, just calm down" to which i growled "Well you do it then!"
He never said a word after that!!!
I think i was humoring him and he was trying so hard not to laugh at risk of me ripping off his balls!!!

 

[Hazel]

The look on my DH face when I was on the bed still at home and suddenly shouted "I need to push" .

 

[Suzie and Faith]

My OH electrocuted himself on my TENS. I had it cranked up to full and he thought he'd give me a hand to stand up. He put his hand on my back and jumped a mile

he said it really hurt!
He also forgot our address and i had to tell the paramedic. lol

 

[nickilubs]

He asked the midwife if he could keep the placenta! He didn't actually want it he just wanted to see if she would let him the midwife was really strict and just said "No" and quickly chucked it away.......so quickly that she threw her scissors in with it then when she realized she had lost her scissors and she said asked if we seen where she put them both me and Anthony looked down at my stomach like "shit" hahaaaa and she must of seen the horror on our faces and said "No I did not stitch them in her!!!"

 

[DebbieM]

Passed out, hit his head, cut his shoulder open and needed an ambulance.

Oh wait... no that wasn't funny....

 

[kellie80]

My OH told the MW he was gonna sue her for not getting me an epidural when I was begging He said that if I'd been run over by a car I would get pain relief so why not then? Embarrassing to look back but I wasn't arsed at the time.

 

[tinkerbell*]

haha! some of these made me chuckle! Oh didnt reeally do anything "funny" however his first words the second theo was born and one of the things i remeber very clearly was him shouting "OH MY GOD... He's F**KING HUGE" !!!!!

 

[chezzabell]

I had been having contractions all day went into hospital about 11pm to get checked they sent me home, anyway my waters broke at 320am i shouted up the stairs and my oh shouted back WHAT THIS BETTER BE WORTH GETTING OUT OF BED

I had been in labour hrs and hrs and i could hear my mum and oh saying she is sucking too hard on that gas and air so is going to make herself tired, i took it out of my mouth and said i fucking dare u to take it off me....they both left the room for ages

when i was my ex best friends birth partner last yr, she was having a contraction and she was wrapped around my whole body and i looked up and her oh was eating a mars bar and he looked at me and winked, i nearly knocked his head off

 

[Laura_James&Amber]

Some of these are hilarious!
My OH didn't really do anything funny but when my waters broke he put bin bags over the car seat so I wouldn't ruin it!! And when I was in the full swing of labour he said
" Well at least your not overdue and in slow labour anymore", As you can imagine I didn't find that very helpful! But he was a fab birth partner really.

 

[soverign]

When I was in labour my OH ordered a pizza delivery from the takeaway and sat there eating it in the corner whilst I was curled up in agony! I told him how mad I was about it after and he said he couldn't help it as he has to eat when he gets nervous!

 

[Bloom]

There are some good ones on here

When at home my oh told me to get a grip when having contractions as the hossy said i was probaly only a few cm's turned out i was about 4-5cms so he had to say sorry after that oh and telling me off being sick as the paracetamol's would'nt work, like it did anything anyway.

He did take a picture of the placenta though and has showed lots of people since. I drew the line at facebooking it though

 

[Sandi4Paul]

Mine wouldnm't let me go to the hospital as he siad i hadn't been in labour long enough even though contractions we about 4 to 5 mins apart lasting 1 1/2 mins, got yelled at so he took me, was 4 cm gone.

Then he sobbed when Logan was born, so had to deal wtih two crying males, typical.

Sandi

 

[pilkers]

My OH was pretty good really. He didn't say anything in particular that wound me up. I was totally off my head towards the end of the birth though and when she was born I was quite ill so I couldn't do very much.

My mum was concentrating on me so OH was left to sort out Evie. Apparently the midwife gave him a nappy and he stood there in the middle of the room and said "why do I need this?"

When he'd eventually figured it out he was just about to fasten it when Evie had the biggest blackest tar like meconium poo in history. It went everywhere and he was incredibly flustered!

 

[Urchin]

I can't think of anything my OH did but when I was a birth partner for my friend a few weeks ago her OH passed out in the corner when he saw them cut the cord.

The MW pulled the emergency cord thing and a crowd of people all came rushing in - straight past him and all ran to the bed, looked at my friend all content with her newborn, and we had to say... "no... it's the dad... he's behind you on the floor over there"

I have it on video... I was trying to get the first cuddle with mummy and all you can hear is the MW going "stay on the floor dan, don't try and stand up, stay where you are" ... ahhh precious moments captured forever

 

[DaisyRose]

These are really funny!!!

When I had my 2nd, just after she was born the mw asked my OH to say what sex she was and he looked at her and said "oh....I can't tell!!" I think everyone in the room laughed! I suppose, to be fair, her bits were really swollen, which I was told was a result of my hormones.

 

[Tillytots]

my OH didnt do anything funny but I just had to say how brilliant this thread is, Im laughing so much

 

[Babylicious]

saying the door is open when he could see harry's head, I could have died