The 3 loss rule Sucks!!!!

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by lizsamuel80, Feb 26, 2012.

  1. lizsamuel80

    lizsamuel80 Well-Known Member

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    It makes me so mad! I can understand not testing after one miscarriage but after two you'd think there would be something simple done. I mean really if the next time all it means is a few extra pills with your vitamins surely they would do something.

    My husband is angry at me because I have no hope for the next Pregnancy and I just want to do it ASAP so I can have the tests. He wants to wait the full 3 cycles this time but to me it seems just pointless. I just want to WHY I had to go through this twice already and probably 3rd if i don't have tests. I know it has to be something simple as I already have two beautiful children with no assistance and the same father so why not test now and prevent as much as they can.

    Sorry very angry, upset and I feel like I have not slept since I lost the baby over a week ago now.
     
  2. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    I alo think its ridicolous and get annoyed uts all down to meny in the end. Its the flippancy of it they dont seem to understand the utter heartbreak and distress a mc causes! I think its disgusting!
     
  3. lizsamuel80

    lizsamuel80 Well-Known Member

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    I'm thinking about asking a 3rd doctor. This time make sure it is female. My Doc i love to death and have been seeing him since I fell pregnant with my daughter almost 6 years now. This is the first time I have not agreed with what he has said. It feels very strange being dissatisfied with him.
     
  4. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    Hi hun,

    I too think it is disgraceful but when I spoke to my specialist about it he said that statistically the risk of multiple miscarriage is only classes as "high" after the 3rd loss.... After 2 losses the risk of a 3rd is just not high enough for the NHS to justify investigations (of course you can opt to go privately)

    As harsh as it sounds my specialist said these rules are in place to make sure those that most need the 'help' receive it.... Chances are hun , your next pregnancy will be viable...

    I know it doesn't make you feel any better but try to keep positive... There is nothing to say you cannot get pregant with a sticky bean next time?

    Just try not to think the worst

    xxxxxxx
     
  5. dyscochick

    dyscochick Well-Known Member

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    So sorry hun, it really a rule built out of money for nhs, you can understand it in a way but i can only imagine how hard it must be to be denied the tests and help you want. :hug:
     
  6. lizsamuel80

    lizsamuel80 Well-Known Member

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    I had a big talk with my Hubby last night.We've decided to compromise we'll wait 2 cycles instead of the 3. Doc said maybe to wait for 3 this time only because it's a popular theory but he's been in the business for nearly 30 years and he has not seen any evidence that it helps.

    My husband and I decided and have agreed totally we want 2 more children and right now The tick tock of the clock feels very heavy. So if I loose the next one I will be kicking and screaming to get my tests.
     
  7. dyscochick

    dyscochick Well-Known Member

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    i was told to wait 1 cycle, and actually there is mixed evidence about waiting at all!
     
  8. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    I lost at 5 weeks in September and fell pregnant straight away - I lost that one too sweetie! Who knows if I hadn't given myself enough time to recover?

    xxxxxxxx
     
  9. dyscochick

    dyscochick Well-Known Member

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    I remember having a discussion with hope about it, she said that it was best to wait 1 cycle, that there was increased risk of mc then, but other docs i've spoken to have said just that it makes dating the pregnancy more difficult, and many people have had successful pregnancies without a break. I don't think there are any rights or wrongs, waiting 1 cycle seems sensible for me but nothing to beat yourself up over if you didn't
     
  10. lizsamuel80

    lizsamuel80 Well-Known Member

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    I waited 1 cycle last time and I made it to 10 weeks. We figured because my period came the day after it was due unless you count spotting it was all good. This time in mixed minds I want to try again that soon so if I do Miscarry again I won't loose too much time. Then another part wants to wait the 2 cycles to give it the best chance. 3 is out of the question because then it would be due in Feb and we are both Feb babies and I don't want to be sad that month. and 4 months there is no way I can wait that long I'm a very impatient person.
     

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