Telling familly - dredding it!

[yummymummyof3]

Hi all

I'm in a horendous dilema and i'm so lost as to what to do, just wondering if theres anyone else in a similar situation.

I have 3 beautiful daughters, 7,5 & 3. my parents thought me and dh where mad to have our last daughter, both talking about having an abortion . My parents are amazing, my mums my best friend they help our with the girls so much and worship them all, but they look at the practical stuff.

After dh saying he doesnt want anymore children, and me having horendous problems with my cyles resulting in investigations into possible endemetriosis aswel as the pcos i already have, Ive just found out I'm 6wks pg.

I was so nervous telling dh, and he was gutted as I expected, but said he would stand by me whatever my decision, i told him friday the day i found out that I couldnt go through with a termination as I've already suffered m/c and it's something i'm against for me personally.

Dh has been quiet with me, so I confronted him yesterday, he explained that he really doesnt want another baby, all of his reasons are valid in his own mind, I explained I'd like this to between us at the moment as every other pregnancy weve known straight away as early as 3.5-4wks pg so this is a bit strange to be finding out at 6ws and i feel it's more personal just between us at the moment, i know it's starting all over agian it only feels like weve just got a bit of our lives back at the moment, money or size of a house isnt an issue thankfully, but seeing his reaction I spent some time researching options yesterday, and I mentally could not bring myself to go through with an abortion and I honestly didnt think he realised what it entailed going through with it, so i explained it all to him. we havnt spoken about it since, although last night i was so shattered at 6pm watching a film with the kids and he was explaining to them sweetly how mammys very tired and to let me rest, and this morning making me a piece of toast - which is a huge thing for him to do!.

So in my mind I know i'm going through with this pregnancy, dh parents wouldnt give a toss tbh if we had another baby whilst his dad sees our daughters 3/4 times a week, his wife who he lives with and is dh mum has the cheek to see our kids on birthdays , and is a complete waste of space.
My parents will go mad!, I'll have the lecture of having an abortion, im irrisponsible etc etc dh has said if my parents say all this to me he will agree with them!!!!, but tbh I'm happy living in my own little bubble at the moment and trying to ignore whats going to happen but I wont be able for much longer.

Touch wood my only symptoms are sore boobs for 3wks, feeling tired, eating some food and cooking some food makes me feel queesy, but I'm just waiting for the sickness to kick in like it did with my other 3, how am I going to hide it then, id quite happily like to have 12wk scan and then tell them, but in my mind at the moment I couldnt give a toss about other people and if I have to do this on my own then so be it, I even feel like I dont really want to talk about any of the pregnancy with dh as I know he's gutted about it and has told me it's the worst thing to happen to us . So theres non of the usual excitement nothing, Ive got no one to talk to, not even my sister who is longing for another child but is wanting a new house 1st, so I'd feel awful talking to her.

Sorry for the long essay just needed to get stuff off my chest.

 

[naomip]

Congratulations on your pregnancy. Although It sounds like a tough situation to be in. You said that you're financially secure and your house is big enough so why are your parents so dead set against you having more children? I'm sure your hubby will come round to the idea in time. He has to take some responsibility for your pregnancy too. Good luck, I hope it all works out well for you x x x

 

[yummymummyof3]

hi

Thank you for your message and congratulations to you x, as u say with time i think he will be ok, but I just miss his normal self, I think it will be easier for the time being not to talk about the pregnancy

My mum and dad think that having 20 & 22 mths between our 3 daughters is unfair on them, they get on so well and wouldnt be without eachother but my parents think that with everything going on we dont spend enough quality time with them as it is, you would of thought they would be proud of us to be able to spend time with the kids working from home, but it never seems enough, even though my parents both worked and me and my sister only saw them at breakfast and bed time as my grandparents looked after us outside of school hours, which I'm greatful for as i was very lucky growing up as they worked to give us the best they could but they seem to forget this.

But i just know if they mention an abortion like they did with dd3 I'm going to loose it and freak out on them!

How it would be so much easier to live away sometimes!

 

[Jayjay027]

If you're financially secure and have a big enough house, I don't understand why ur parents would even *think* about u having an abortion! And if ur DH agrees with them, ud have every right to flip out. U didn't get pregnant on ur own and he should be supportive, not pushing u to do that!
Congratulations on ur pregnancy, enjoy it and don't let anyone bring u down x

Tapatalking from my blackberry!

 

[JoanneG79]

hi

Thank you for your message and congratulations to you x, as u say with time i think he will be ok, but I just miss his normal self, I think it will be easier for the time being not to talk about the pregnancy

My mum and dad think that having 20 & 22 mths between our 3 daughters is unfair on them, they get on so well and wouldnt be without eachother but my parents think that with everything going on we dont spend enough quality time with them as it is, you would of thought they would be proud of us to be able to spend time with the kids working from home, but it never seems enough, even though my parents both worked and me and my sister only saw them at breakfast and bed time as my grandparents looked after us outside of school hours, which I'm greatful for as i was very lucky growing up as they worked to give us the best they could but they seem to forget this.

But i just know if they mention an abortion like they did with dd3 I'm going to loose it and freak out on them!

How it would be so much easier to live away sometimes!

I am the eldest of 4 and there is 5 years between me and my youngest sister. There is only 11 months between my brother and sister!! How my Mum coped with 4 kids under 5 I have no idea but she loved it and just got on with it. Your parents seem quite outspoken on your parenting skills - I don't know if I could be as contained as you! I hope things work out for you - must be a very difficult situation to be in though. Especially is your hubby is not 100% supportive. I hope he will be soon though, you sound like you need it at the moment. Takes 2 to tango after all!! Sending hugs your way. xxx

 

[can]

ahhh poor you hun sounds like your having a rough time. just want to say a HUGE congratulations and enjoy being in you bubble everyone and everything will fall into place, I too have had 2 mc and couldn't imagine having a termination. You need to make choices that are right for you, not your parents. Goodluck and don't let them spoil it for you