Tantrumming toddler since newborn came home!

[T84]

As its say, my almost 2 year old has changed overnight since bringing her sister home on Thursday!

There's so much change for her and also she had her first seizure in almost a year on Thursday but ever since she has been a nightmare. Literally chucking herself on the floor at the slightest thing - sometimes even nothing! Most of the time she can't even tell me what's wrong which she normally does. It just seems to be sheer frustration.

Anyone have any positive stories on this or tips? I'm not willing to go down the punishing route for it (unless they are clearly bad bahaviour) because I know she is just mega confused and frustrated.

 

[Kholl]

I'm really glad you're not going to punish her- she needs love and understanding more than anything right now!

One amazing resource for me is Dr Laura Markham's blog- aha parenting (think it's just ahaparenting.com but you can google it).

Can you arrange to have some dedicated 1-on-1 time with her every day? While baby is napping, just sit on the floor with her and give her your full attention- even for just 15 minutes? Let her choose the activity and go along with whatever she chooses. Then when baby is a bit older you can take her out to her favorite restaurant or park, just the two of you, when you can?

Just be there for her. She is overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do with her emotions. Don't try to "fix" it yet- just understand and empathize. She will feel better on her own before you know it.

 

[can]

Hi my lo was 18 months when I had my now 8 month old and we had much of the same including buying and hitting (us never the baby) it will get better just lots ic patience, love and reassurance needed right now. It's a massive change for them however they are so close now and laugh and play together and my 2 year old has calmed right down. Give it a few months it will I'll be ok

 

[Mrs CW]

Bless her, it's such a hard and confusing time for them. We tried to give our eldest 1 on 1 time in the while the new baby slept and tried to involve him (as much as you can when they're that little) with the baby. We did painting, reading, singing, and baking in the first couple of months. As our youngest was an August baby and I (luckily) felt great after having him we went on day trips to the zoo, soft play, farm etc in the first few weeks to make it about our eldest. Hope that helps x

 

[queenriccy]

Yep just gone through the same thing, Olly is 3 in June and Daisy is now 10 weeks and it does get better I promise.
It's such s big change for them and they don't understand

Xx

 

[T84]

We are making sure one of us is dedicated to her at all times so hopefully this works in time. She wasn't too bad this afternoon bar hitting me once when I was speaking to her and she didn't like what I said but still felt like I was treading on eggshells with her all day, waiting on saying or doing the wrong thing.

Thanks for the advice ladies x

 

[Becky1]

I read that it's good for them to sometimes see you telling baby to wait whilst you tend to toddlers needs first. xx

 

[Lucyboo]

Another thing my friend done is asked anyone visiting new baby to acknowledge her toddler daughter first and not the baby as people came including grandparents and went straight to the baby ignoring her daughter x

 

[katherine6476]

Another thing my friend done is asked anyone visiting new baby to acknowledge her toddler daughter first and not the baby as people came including grandparents and went straight to the baby ignoring her daughter x

We did this too. When visitors came, we asked Amelia to show them her new sister. Most people bought her presents too as well as for the baby so she didn't feel left out.

 

[T84]

Thanks ladies, we seem to have turned a corner and bar the usual independent toddler hissy fits she's been good. We make a point of letting her go to baby herself and not try and force her onto baby, and we make sure she's getting lots of fun time and attention with us still. Thanks for the advice x

 

[Maud]

That's good to hear. I'm really worried how mine is going to react.