Taking fertility for granted..

Anna Marie

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It seems to me now that I was very complacent and always assumed that when I was really ready to start a family it would happen without a problem.. BOY was I wrong... VERY wrong!!

This year for me has taught me that I cannot take such a "gift" for granted and I am very sad that I am unable to join those of you in the baby clubs.

Many of you will not want to read all about my woes but i want to share my experiences with you so that if any of you are experiencing similar difficulties you can perhaps feel a bit more informed or can ask questions of your doctors etc.

So.... I am 36 years old, I came off the pill 2 years ago, early this year [january I think] I noticed spotting in between periods and occasionally after sex. My cycles were aprox 29 days and AF quite light. Each month AF became heavier and came a bit earlier and the spotting lasted longer.
I had a smear in May and results were abnormal cell changes so a repeat scheduled for October..
I eventually went to my GP about all these symptoms etc late May and she said she would refer me to a gynae. I did not hear anything but in July I fell pregnant so was over the moon and all investigations were suspended. We were not ttc so we were very happy and excited.

Unfortunately in August I miscarried at 8 weeks and at the follow up scan they revealed I had 4 large cysts on my right ovary. They told me not to worry and to rescan in November. Meanwhile I was referred to the recurrent miscarriage specialist as this was my 3rd m/c [other 2 were 10 years ago]. They have done numerous blood tests for chromosone abnormalities, blood anitbodies, all sorts of things. In September I decided to ttc again but unfortunately despite my charting and doing everything right to snag the little fishies I have not managed to get that BFP again. Meanwhile my cycles were getting shorter [24 days] and ovulation around day 12 and spotting for 5-6 days mid - later part of cycle.

I went for my rescan last week and good news is that the cysts have gone but they found an endometrial polyp. This is probably the cause of the miscarriage in August and all the spotting, shorter cycles, post BD bleeding and heavy periods etc. Of course I am devastated as it also interferes with implantation so making it impossible to conceive again until they remove it. They told me that the polyp may have developed from some left over tissue from the m/c and the only way to remove it is a D&C which in itself can increase the risk of miscarriage so all in all the polyp is not good news!!
I was also seen by a consultant who has expressed concern over my abnormal smear as the above symptoms are also indicative of cervical cancer and so he wants to do further tests and examinations of my cervix as well as inside my uterus for the polyp etc. All very scary.

So my advice to anyone out there ttc for a while is to chart or keep a diary of everything, every pain, every weird symptom - charting is so useful for seeing patterns and or irregularities and if you are unsure about anything don't bury your head in the sand like I did.. go to the docs.

I cannot ttc now until all this is sorted as even if I did manage a BFP I would probably miscarry again and I don't want to go through that again so for the time being I will be hoping for all of you that you get your baby dust and some BFP's so that we all keep our faith that one day we will become mums!

I am not trying to scare anyone, I hope by sharing experiences we all become a bit wiser about what goes on inside our very complicated female reproductive sytems!!

take care xx
 
Anna Marie :( I am very very sorry to hear of all your troubles you have had so far in TTC. I have not been in your shoes or anywhere close other than m/c's so I cannot begin to understand how much pain this must be putting you and you partner through.

I really do hope things start to look better for you soon and it does make me realise that whilst I am suffering a shite pregnancy, at least I am here and I should be very greatful to get this far. Thank you for sharing your difficult journey so far.

My love goes to you right now, thinking of you. xxxx
 

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