Surrogate.. would you?

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Krystal, Nov 19, 2007.

  1. Krystal

    Krystal Well-Known Member

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    I was just sat thinking about surrogacy :think: . I'd love to be able to do it for someone as I think there are good people out there who can't carry a child for one reason or another :cry: .. i think it would have to be their egg AND sperm and i'd just be the carrier BUT then I still worry after carrying child for 9 months I'd find it hard to give that child away. even if biologically it wasn't mine.

    Do you think you could do it or not and why? :think:

    :hug:
     
  2. Nic'n'Keeley

    Nic'n'Keeley Well-Known Member

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    I think i could be i'd have to have had all my kids before i could as i don't think emotionally i could give the baby away... if that makes sense :)
     
  3. gems

    gems Well-Known Member

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    Its a lovely thing to do for someone but I don't feel that I could do it. I don't think I could carry a baby and just hand it away afterwards. Also I really haven't enjoyed being pregnant at all and have felt quite down since being pregnant I think due to hormones but knowing I'm gonna have my LO at the end of it has made it all worthwhile. I really respect any1 that can do it tho its such a great thing to do for a couple that wouldn't of been able to have a child. xxx
     
  4. jayla's mummy

    jayla's mummy Well-Known Member

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    i dont think emotionally i wud b able 2 do dat i memba hw i felt wen i first saw jay. carrying da child 4 9 months den having to give it away
    xnatx
     
  5. emma28

    emma28 Well-Known Member

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    I offered to do it for my friend. It would have been her egg and his sperm, all I was doing was cooking it. IMO it's a small enough thing to do for someone you love. I doubt I would do it for a stranger.

    She's pregnant now :cheer: but she had leukemia as a child, then a brain tumour. After 18 months of TTC she was told it was unlikely she woud concieve without a lot of help.

    I talked to my DH about it before I spoke to her, and he was very suportive.
     
  6. Krystal

    Krystal Well-Known Member

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    aww that was so sweet for you to offer.. it's brill to hear after all of that she's been through she's pregnant :cheer:
     
  7. Squiglet

    Squiglet Well-Known Member

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    I know I could emotionally become a surrogate... After all I don't bond with the babies that are mine when I am pregnant, so someone elses well, I'd just feel like I was renting space. :rotfl: that's what it feels like atm... I'm renting space for DH so he can have a child of his own... :LOL:

    Physically, I don't know if I could do pregnancy again... It's hard being pregnant... long and boring... and I just don't think I would have the ability to stick it out that long, if there wasn't a good reward at the end... like a baby or lots of money :wink: ... but then surrogacy isn't about the money.

    Although, if I had a friend who desperately wanted a child, and couldn't do it through her own means, then I would do that for her no problems. As I said I could quite easily switch off emotionally from the baby. For a random stranger, no I couldn't do the hell that is pregnancy for them...
     
  8. Jen & Her Men

    Jen & Her Men Well-Known Member

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    I would like to think that if it was a really close friend or family member that I really cared about I would be able to give them that gift, however I know what a big emotional wet drip I am and dont think I would be able to give up a child I had carried for 9 months as I would bond with it for sure.
     
  9. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

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    I'm not a strong enough person to do it and If I was pg again I'd want to do it for myself. I really admire people who are surrogates, it takes a special kind of person to be that selfless. Physically I see it as no different to something like organ donation or a blood transfusion but emotionally I can't really get my head round the mindset of someone being pregnant for someone else. It doesn't seem natural to me but I am not against it in any way shape or form. I just can't imagine how you would not feel a bond with a baby you have grown and felt move inside you and protected. Pregnancy takes over you're whole life, it occupied everything I did for almost 10 months. To do all that for someone elses benefit, well I can't find a word to describe it!!

    Lou :)
     
  10. leckershell

    leckershell Well-Known Member

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    I think if it was for a couple I knew well and I'd be able to see the baby regularly then maybe yes. I was happy enough with my pregnancy and birth, but don't think I could look after 2 right now..! But yeah, I think I would get really attached and I'd have to be able to see the baby quite often.
     
  11. jenna

    jenna Well-Known Member

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    I dont think i would, I wouldnt be able to see it as there child even if it was. I would consider it for my sister but no one else. Id still find it really hard though. :hug:
     
  12. Tara & Liam

    Tara & Liam Well-Known Member

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    my SIL had a full hystorectomy (SP) at 29, they asked her if she wanted to harvest any eggs, but she was so ill that she said no. She regrets it now as one of her sisters would have carried it for her.

    i would love to be able to do it, even though i have crap pregnancies, i would be prepared to carry one, my only problem is, is that i have had three pregnancies so i have been advised no more.

    x
     
  13. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

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    I've always wondered too about the biology of being pregnant, which would effect a surrogate mum too. Now I have had my OH's child does that mean because I shared Isaac's blood stream and Isaac has the same bloodline as my OH do I share a certain bloodline with OH too? The whole surrogate thing, and even more so egg donation, must have long term implications for future generations if people are mixing DNA and Genes indirectly or anonymously?

    :think:

    I should've paid more attention in biology at school me thinks :)
     
  14. laetitia85

    laetitia85 Well-Known Member

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    It sounds like a lovely thing to do but i don't think i'd be emotionally able. :|
     
  15. SarahH

    SarahH Well-Known Member

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    I think I could only do it for my sister or someone I am really close to
     
  16. Babylicious

    Babylicious Well-Known Member

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    I don't think I could, each kick I would bond with the baby - I'm weak
     
  17. Urchin

    Urchin Well-Known Member

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    I wish I was strong enough to do it but I don't think I could be.
     
  18. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

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    When me and Jed were TTC we both said if it doesn't happen then its not meant to be. I can undertsand people not wanting to give up that easy, especially if its something you've always dreamed of, but personally for me I would go down the adoption route. In fact I would like to adopt one day, maybe have another baby in a year or so and then adopt a child into our family. Jed isn't over keen though but I think its a wonderful thing to do.

    Lou :)
     
  19. trixipaws

    trixipaws Well-Known Member

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    i would do it for my sister or a very very close friend who was unable to be pregnant herself and really wanted children.

    but my sister said last week she does want children but "pregnancy freaks her out". well im not doing it for that reason she'll hav to get over it!
     
  20. Red_Fairy

    Red_Fairy Well-Known Member

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    My sister cant have children.


    When i was younger my mum suggested i could have a baby for her. I was young and naive i'd alwayas said 'yeah - i would' (my older sister didnt know that, tho)

    As im older, i will never do it. I dont get on with my sister, she has been particularly evil to me and other family members for many years. She blames everyone else for everything wrong in her life, and has turned into a very bitter twisted woman.

    Now im not saying if she was my best friend i would be able to do it. Not at all. But knowing id have to hand over a baby to somone i dont think could be 'the best mum' in my eyes is a different story.


    (i hope i dont come across evil in that post, just read it through and it does sound like it, i think if you knew the whole story you honestly would think different tho. Even my mother agrees completly now.)
     

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