surname/s..

[sarafet]

OH and i aren't married but will probably do so in the future at some point, and i had never really thought about the surname issue until my mum got quite upset about i. i automatically said the baby would have his surname..

now that i think about it, we would give the baby his surname to make life easier and for everyday use. but on the birth cert, i was thinking about putting, my surname, my mums maiden name and oh's surname.

the names don't go together very well but it would only be on the birth cert anyways, and i think it would mean a lot to my family too.

what do you all think and has anyone done this?

sarah xx

 

[mary70]

my kids have got our sir names double barrelled but so have husband and i we are all Batham-Tomkins, but Hannah was that before we got married, Kieron wast he was just Tomkins but changes after wedding

 

[mandspice]

I've said from the beginning we'll use oh's name - secretly hoping it'll prompt him into proposing

We couldn't really have double-barreled - Spicer-Springer doesn't sound quite right!

 

[Penstraze]

It is entirely up to you what you chose to do Im sure you will make the right decission for you both and your child. I do think you need to take into consideration that it wont just be on the babies birth certificate, all official paperwork, school records, medical records, passports, bank statements etc will require the babies full name.

 

[Sherlock]

I didn't take my hubbys surname when we married, and we are going to give out baby both our surnames, which as I am half Spanish works well, as it'll be his surname and mine, which is of course my fathers, which is how it works in Spain.

We plan on only using hubbys name when at school and so on. But all offical documents, such as passport etc will have the full surname. Day to day life Baby can go by hubbys surname and when s/he is older then s/he can choose if they want to use both, or one or the other.

TBH, if I was not married and we were expecting, I'd give baby my surname only. Squiglet ezplained it well in another thread. She said

'If you do get married in the end, it's much easier to change the baby's name to the father's surname, than change it back to the mothers surname.'

Read the whole thread here

All things to consider anyways

 

[sarah113]

All my children have got my OHs surname and we are not married

 

[leckershell]

Ryan has Nat's surname, I prefer Nat's surname anyway and also secretly hoped it would be a marriage prompt sometime in the future.

 

[Babylicious]

will have hubbys surname

 

[muppetmummy]

When James was born I gave him my surname. We changed it to OH's when he was 4 1/2 by going back to the registry office and re-registering his birth. It only cost the price of a new birth certificate.
That was in England though, I'm not sure if it would be different in Scotland

 

[elaine22]

Cara hs OH's surname - I prefer his surname to mine anyway lol.

 

[JoAnn&Aimee]

My OH and I aren't married either but we are engaged and were planning to get hitched this summer but with the little one due this summer the plans are on hold until much later now. The baby's surname shall be his but it does cause problems with a girls name as his surname is Hillary. So if we have a girl we need a name that sounds right with it!

 

[tattybear85]

Our kids will have Matts surname Oliver already has Matts surname...Its never really been an issue and now that we are engaged i will have his surname in due course!!!!

 

[Bee]

I'm not with the babys dad so I am thinking baby will have my surname but its a different situation

 

[sarafet]

thanks ladies.. still unsure what to do

 

[bobtheunfortunateone]

I think they should have there fathers last name unless there dad is not going to be a dad role model! I don't mind double surnames so long as it goes and is not too much.

 

[Sahara]

Nicola has her Dads name. We are engaged but I don't think we will be getting married very soon - con't afford it!!

 

[Sherlock]

We are engaged but I don't think we will be getting married very soon - con't afford it!!

We got married for less than £300 in total.

Registrars office, a few guests and a lovely meal for us and them in the evening. Both hubby and I wore outfits we already owned and liked lots and felt comfortable in. I did as I always said I would and married in a pair of black Doc Martens knee high leather zip up boots

I baked my own rich dark gooey gorgeous chocolate wedding cake also. Twas very yummy The cake cost £20 with the luxury chocolate and ingredients but it was well worth the time and effort.

At some point when we go back over to visit everyone in Australia we'll have a get together for everyone over there, big BBQ and so on to celebrate with them, but again it won't cost the earth.

You can have a great day on a smaller budget anyways

Never saw the need for spending a huge amount on a big wedding, but I know it appeals to some

 

[kalia]

I just wanted to repeat what someone else said - there are a lot of circumstances in which your child will need to use their official name in later life. School (because ultimately their exam certificates need to have their proper name on them), bank accounts, driving license, passport... As these are all forms of proof of ID, they would have difficulties at times proving who they were if they called themselves something different (for example, cashing a cheque or collecting parcels from the post office). Long term it would be confusing. If you want to give LO a double barreled name or just one surname that would be less confusing. Maybe you could use the other surnames as middle names instead? But at the end of the day, it's your decision.

OH and I do not intend getting married, though we are very much together and live together. I'm giving LO OH's last name because I like it a bit better than mine. (Mine is Smith, his is Miller). If I didn't like his last name, I'd use mine I don't see that it really makes a big difference for us, though if our child objects to mummy and daddy having different last names when it is older (I know someone whose children didn't like having a different surname from mummy) then I'm happy enough to change my name.

At the end of the day, it's YOUR baby. You get to choose whatever name you would like.

 

[heles7]

ill be giving my baby his fathers family name although we're not married. The main reason being i don't particularly like my own and i do like his.

I don't have any attachment to my own surname and it's only been in the family for three generations as my grandfather was abandoned and nobody knew what his real name was so they just made one up for him.
OH's family on the other hand are attached to their name so this will make them happy.

I have to agree with what some of the others are saying that whatever you put on the birth certificate is going to be your childs full name and will be used on all official documentation. Multiple names could cause multiple problems later in life. Will your little one thank you for that?

In your position, I would do what you think sounds right with the priority being how your child will feel about his name. I wouldn't make decision based on the fact that my own parents might prefer I chose differently. they will not be growing up with the name!!!

 

[Sherlock]

I just wanted to repeat what someone else said - there are a lot of circumstances in which your child will need to use their official name in later life. School (because ultimately their exam certificates need to have their proper name on them), bank accounts, driving license, passport... As these are all forms of proof of ID, they would have difficulties at times proving who they were if they called themselves something different (for example, cashing a cheque or collecting parcels from the post office). Long term it would be confusing. If you want to give LO a double barreled name or just one surname that would be less confusing. Maybe you could use the other surnames as middle names instead? But at the end of the day, it's your decision.

We are opting for a double barrelled surname (I didn't take hubbys name when we married) but as the childs middle name isn't going to be used in day to day life either, it won't be anything over the top surname wise. I know of some parents at schools who have double barrelled surnames but who drop the last name off and only use one part of the surnames for their kids in day to day school life etc and its been fine. Yes on official paperwork the full surname will be used, but simple day to day life it can be left off.

I didn't use part of my surname at all during my school years and it was only when I left school I began using it. Thinking about it, my first bank account didn't use it either and that wasn't opened till I was 17. And still to this day I have never had any problem in dropping off the short part in day to day life. I don't find it a hassle to use it officially and having to sign official stuff in full is no biggie, my signature is a squiggle anyways And I always have to spell my surname regardless.