Struggling...

Discussion in 'Breastfeeding' started by Petit Pois, May 20, 2013.

  1. Petit Pois

    Petit Pois Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies, just looking for some reassurance/support. I really feel like I'm getting to my breaking point this morning. This is going to be a bit of a vent so please bear with me.

    Daisy is 5 weeks old tomorrow and I have been ebf. She is gaining weight nicely, plenty of dirty/wet nappies etc so the problem isn't with her. Breast feeding support lady said latch is spot on as well. And I'm really proud that her progress is all down to me, and don't get me wrong, I love the closeness we have.

    I'm just feeling a mixture of emotions I guess? My nipples have been so sore for what feels like forever now - I bought shields which seems to be helping but not sure if its a long term solution? This morning I've woken up and my right boob is really sore. Like deep inside, it's sort of a burning pain. Hurts when I move, which obviously isn't great! Also when she feeds from this side, towards the end she'll get really fussy and I feel like there's no milk left so I swap her over to the other side to satisfy her. I don't have to do that when I start the feed on the left. She feeds for ages! Like on average for about an hour each time. Is that normal?! And sometimes she's fed for an hour, she'll lie down for 20mins and then she's turning her head, sucking her fist etc again which turns to crying that can only be soothed by boob. And she'll eat more!
    I also feel guilty that OH cant really help when all she wants is me. I have ordered a pump that should be arriving in the next couple of days so hopefully he can take over a feed in the evening.
    Not only that but I just wish I was a bit more free. I know that sounds so selfish I feel awful, but I just want to be able to have some time for myself and have a glass of wine you know? And not feel like a milk machine.

    I have just sat here crying my eyes out while she's crying for food after having already fed her for an hour and just feel so awful.

    Whenever I tell OH how I'm feeling he just says he doesn't want me to be upset and that we should just switch to formula/combi. Usually I'm adamant that I want to carry on, but this morning it just feels like too much hard work.

    I haven't really had any wobbles like this up until now, not sure where it's come from really. All just feels too much today. Maybe because she was up quite a lot last night and I feel like I'm getting a cold. I feel terrible for feeling this way cos I know it's the best thing for D and that's the only thing that matters. It's just hard when I'm in pain :(

    Christ, sorry for the essay!

    Hope someone can offer some advice or just let me know that it gets easier.

    :(


    Tapatalking!
     
  2. Kate1985

    Kate1985 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Hun, this is perfectly normal in the early days! Babies feed none stop. It feels like its all you're doing. Literally I would stay in your pyjamas, get a duvet, find some good telly and be prepared to feed all day. Eventually lo will establish a routine, will have built up your supply and will feed in a more regular routine. However bf babies are more demanding than bottle fed babies so you will feel like this from time to time. You are doing amazingly though and you should be so proud of yourself. In a few weeks when bfing is full established maybe you old introduce a bottle of ebm so oh can help out and you good have a little break. Keep up the good work xxxx
     
  3. sallybee

    sallybee Well-Known Member

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    Oh Hun I can't add anything to what Kate said really apart from it does get easier, but everyone has a wobble now and then - why don't you give it a few days before reaching for the formula. You may find you feel better in a few days.

    As for your boob, I'm no expert but it may be thrush... Or a blocked duct? I don't know as I never had any health problems from bf :( Make a GP appointment if you're not sure xxxx


     
  4. MummyEdgar

    MummyEdgar Well-Known Member

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    I can't offer much advice, William is 11 weeks now and we have been bfing since birth. I like u have had some emotional wobbles and it's not been easy but like the others have said your doing a amazing thing for your baby and it's so worth it. Give yourself a nights sleep and see how you feel tomorrow but if you still feel like it's not working for your family then don't feel bad about stopping. What you have done so far will have given him an amazing start in life and you have to do what's best for your family, you and baby, and feeling this way for the long term is not good for anyone.

    Be proud of yourself, because bfing is such a great gift to your baby and what you have done is incredible.

    I remember it beginning to get easier at about six weeks or so, so you might be just around the corner of a much different baby. Overnight William seemed to sleep more, eat less and be so contented.

    Good luck xx
     
  5. Nutsyputs

    Nutsyputs Well-Known Member

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    I felt exactly the same as you and would sit crying whilst feeding and some times at my worst would hate being a mum. Hubby now gives F a bottle of fomula in the evening so i can have a break. I would also go see my mum when he's at his worst so I can have a cup of tea without him attached to me! We have a breastfeeding cafe where I live which I have found a massive source of support, it's nice talking to other ladies even if its just to whinge!
     
  6. Petit Pois

    Petit Pois Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your replies ladies :)

    I am going to carry on, feeling a bit better about it all now after reading your advice. Just needed to vent and let it all out. Had a good cry earlier and my mum came over and took D out for a wall so I got a couple of hrs sleep.

    Still in pain though and feel so rough - think its mastitis as I have a red patch on my sore boob and really bad fluey symptoms :( docs tomorrow!

    xxx


    Tapatalking!
     
  7. Kate1985

    Kate1985 Well-Known Member

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    Hope all is ok Hun xxxx
     
  8. Nicnax

    Nicnax Well-Known Member

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    It does get easier! I cannot tell you the amount of times I sat crying onto Molly, as she fed. But, 4 months on, we're still going, and there is literally no pain now. It's really hard in the begin- baby will feed and feed, and yes, you do feel like nothing more than a milk machine. Expressing all really help- you will be able to give your poor nips a break, and OH will be able to be more involved.

    You're doing great, but remember, if you give it up tomorrow, you have given your baby the best possible start, and you should be very proud. :)
     
  9. Petit Pois

    Petit Pois Well-Known Member

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    Saw doc this morning - it's def mastitis, got antibiotics for 2 weeks. Also got a blister on my nipple that's come out of nowhere :(

    In such a mess :(

    GP said to express from poorly side until the blister clears up, and feed from the other. I just feel like I haven't got enough milk to give


    Tapatalking!
     
  10. Wilson28

    Wilson28 Well-Known Member

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    Oh hunni, firstly biiigg huuggss xx

    I remember these days quite well, your doing so well :) i know its hard when you least expect it, no one ever tells you how hard bf is :(
    I remember crying and crying thinking i cant do this :( but let me tell you this, ive stuck at it through thick n thin, and next week my ickle boy will be 6 months, and the feeling is amazing :) its a rollacoster and half breast feeding but a hell of a journey which when it eases up youll look back and smile.

    As for the painful booby it maybe be a blocked duct, put lo on the booby everytime u feed to try and losen it, hot flannels and baths also help too,


    You should be very proud of urself 5 weeks in and your doing fab xxxx
     
  11. HL28

    HL28 Well-Known Member

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    Hun have you got lansinoh nipple cream? It's fab. Put it on before and after each feed and continue to feed off that boob. Good luck hun. Hope you feel better soon x.
     
  12. mrswoody

    mrswoody Well-Known Member

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    Hugs lovely!!
    You have done fantastically so far. Bfing isn't easy BUT it gets better I promise you. I remember sitting crying to OH because my nips hurt, feeling like Daisy the cow when M would cluster feed and hating OH when he was fast asleep and here I was awake feeding our baby. I am now6 months on and still BFing and I am so bloody pleased I stuck at it and didn't give in in the early days.
    I would highly recommend Lansinoh it is amazing!!!
    I hope you start to feel better soon.

    xx
     

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