Struggling after a mc and a stillbirth

Discussion in 'Coping with Miscarriage & Loss' started by jess_may94, Jun 2, 2016.

  1. jess_may94

    jess_may94 New Member

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    Hi, i am new to the whole forum thing. In September last year i had a miscarriage at 7 weeks, following this I fell pregnant very quickly and i was due to have my baby girl Emily on the 6th of July. Due to complications during pregnancy she sadly lost her fight and my baby girl was born sleeping on the 20th February at 20 weeks. I am feeling lost and my emotions are so up and down, i have colleagues at work that are expecting in July as well as my brothers partner. and all i keep thinking is that should be me. I am surrounded by pregnancy at work, whenever i watch tv pregnancy is on that , in my family people are expecting. I just feel like i can't escape. me and my partner having been trying again but we haven't had much luck yet, i jut want to have a baby so much and I'm not helping myself by constantly thinking about being pregnant. I just keep thinking everyone around me has no idea what its like and they can't truly understand how i am feeling. I struggle with the fact normal life is going on around me and I'm like hang on a minute i have lost my baby and i just can't deal with things at the minute. I guess i just want to know how others have struggled through this time and if and how has anyone made it a little easier to move forward.?
     
  2. Cherrybelly

    Cherrybelly Well-Known Member

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    So sorry to hear what you've been through hun. Not quite the same, but I had two losses in a row and the second left me in bits. The only thing that helped me was the thought of being pregnant again. I was lucky and fell again quite quickly and got my rainbow baby. Try and stay positive, stay off fb as its full of pregnant people and do all the things you couldn't when you were pregnant - drink wine, eat delicious cheese, have hot baths!! You will fall pregnant again and you will get your take home baby. Big hugs xxxzx
     
  3. MrsS15

    MrsS15 Well-Known Member

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    I'm so sorry to read this hun. Your heart must feel so broken! It's nowhere near the same as your loss but we've been trying for 14 months and had a few early loses now. I would have been due early July with my first loss and I'm struggling a bit as that time approaches and I should be near finishing work. To make matters worse I know 3 people who are all due within a week of when I would have been. It just tears my heart into bits! Everyone around me seems to be falling pregnant so easily and getting their forever baby with no worries. I torture myself every day wondering what I done wrong to lose my babies, as if I'm not worthy but everyone else is.

    I agree about fb and social media, I disabled my fb about 2 months ago and have felt so much better for it. I don't have all the pregnancy & birth announcements constantly in my face. We're also having a break this month as we're going on holiday at the end of the month. I feel like a weight has been lifted already not worrying about ovulating and when to have sex etc. I thought it would be harder because I want nothing more than to have a baby but the break has come easily!

    My hubby told me to stop focusing on other people and concentrate on us. I got annoyed at that initially but he's right, just think about you and your oh. Make plans to do things that you couldn't if you were pregnant or had a baby. We're doing that and I'm enjoying it :)

    I hope you're okay, send me a pm any time xx
     
    #3 MrsS15, Jun 2, 2016
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2016
  4. catswiskers

    catswiskers Well-Known Member

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    I honestly know how you feel. My little boy joey died at 6 days old and I lost our baby a week ago today at 12 weeks.
    someone on my fb posted yesterday that she is so excited to be full term and I just wanted to say you selfish [email protected] I've lost 2 children in the space of a year and your rubbing it in my face!
    I can't tell you it gets easier because it hasn't for me. I've got used to the grief but seeing other pregnant people still screws my head up.
     

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