Stressing about money (or lack of)

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by coruscating17, Dec 23, 2011.

  1. coruscating17

    coruscating17 Well-Known Member

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    Who else is worried about finances? My pay covers all our bills, rent, petrol etc but we have nothing left from it for ourselves and my OH is studying so only earns a small amount doing casual work. I'm just not sure how we're going to save enough before baby is born to buy everything we need and see us through my maternity leave (where I'll only be entitled to Maternity Allowance as we've just moved back from abroad so I haven't been in my job long enough to be entitled to SMP). I'm planning to get a lot of things second hand and I know our parents will help us out, but it's still stressful. My OH just doesn't see the problem with money that I do! I hate living hand to mouth each month. We don't do it nearly as tough as other people, but we were getting paid so much more abroad that money wasn't even as issue, so now it's a scary prospect again. How are those of you who are also struggling with money going to get through it? xx
     
  2. Jayjay027

    Jayjay027 Well-Known Member

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    We're in the same boat, we're not exactly rolling in it and we're worried how we're going to afford everything.

    I'm a freelance photographer, and haven't been working because I've been feeling so ill the past few days, and we moved house recently and spent a lot of money on that, so I don't have any savings. My hubby was a victim of recession and is working through an employment agency so work isn't always guaranteed.

    That's why we're doing the mothercare baby plan, where u can pay it off as and when u have the money. Its helping spread the cost. And of course our parents will help out.

    I'm not exactly sure how, but we'll cope. We're just gona have to lol x

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  3. coruscating17

    coruscating17 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah I know things always work out in the end it's just so much tougher when you know you'll have a little person to look after. I looked at the Mothercare baby plan but have decided I'd rather get as much as I can second hand (except a car seat and baby mattress as have read they should always be new). I'm a big Gumtree fan haha! Think I'll start collecting some bits after Christmas so it doesn't feel so expensive. Suppose I've been a bit wary of doing much due to my previous miscarriage but I'm feeling more positive this time so once we've had the 12 weeks scan I'll get Gumtree-ing! x
     
  4. Jayjay027

    Jayjay027 Well-Known Member

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    Yes gumtree is a god send! I've been lurking on there but not buying anything yet as its still early days.

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  5. pregpixie76

    pregpixie76 Well-Known Member

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    technically my ex will be paying for the things i need for this baby as he has been forced by csa to pay for my 2 oldest kids.it really is ironic that i fall preg 2 months after he starts paying lolbut my oldest kids are nearly 14 n 15 so he should have been paying all along
     
  6. Kayelle

    Kayelle Well-Known Member

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    We are the same, really really no money, but it will work out I promise. Keep an eye on gumtree, ask / put up notice in doctors or newsagents to get bagrains. We had 60 items of clothes for 25 pound! Pram/ carseat/ travel system for only 15, and bundle with cot, bath, high chair, changing table and mats, nappy stacker, cot, blunder and some toys all for 60 pounds! It really is worth looking for it, as the stuff is not used for long they are amazing condition! If you find any item you want to buy, ask the seller if they have any other baby stuff they want to sell.
    Parents also get a suprising amount!
    Remember some things are just luxurys and not needed, I would love a Moses basket but can do without.
    Good luck! You will be fine, honestly :)

    Also look at any help you can get, and I'm sure you only had to be in job for 23 weeks before 15th week before your due which would mean you needed to start when you were like 2 weeks? Look into it :)
     
  7. coruscating17

    coruscating17 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks guys! I definitely am not entitled to SMP as was already 6 weeks pregnant when I started my job. Will find out if I'm entitled to any benefits for the short period of time I'll be on maternity leave..plan to go back to work 2 months after baby is born as we just can't afford to live otherwise. Thankfully I will be doing agency work as a nurse so can work as and when and the pay is better, so it should be OK. Not ideal but nothing we can do about it! Will definitely look out for bargains :) x
     
  8. Loula

    Loula Well-Known Member

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    I think the same every day how am i gonna do this and that and i was 8 weeeks pregnant before i started my new job but am hoping because i just moved depts in the nhs i will be ok for mat pay.

    Have you thought about putting money away in an account or something, thats what ive had to do because ill be practically buying everything brand new but my parents doing the pram.

    Its an awful thought wonderig where its all gonna come from especially as its just me

    Hope it all comes together for you x
     
  9. babyem

    babyem Well-Known Member

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    Im doing my nurse training and my OH works in a corner shop, so money is very tight. We will have help of his family, but mine are really struggling as my dad has just lost his job.

    I hadn't heard of the mothercare plan but will deffinately be looking it to it! thanks for mentioning it! x
     
  10. coruscating17

    coruscating17 Well-Known Member

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    I'm sure it will come together for all of us :) Just got to be sensible from now until baby arrives. I'm planning to start putting money away in the new year, but as we've just moved back to the UK all our money and savings has been taken with buying furniture etc....expensive business. I guess that babies don't actually have to cost that much if you don't want...it's when they get to school that the real costs begin! I'm definitely getting most things second hand as they won't be using things for long x
     
  11. hellywelly

    hellywelly Well-Known Member

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    Try ebay as well, and also look online for the NCT (National Childbirth Trust) nearly new sales which I've heard are fab - I'll certainly be going to the next one in my area!! Also try and make friends/ask friends who are already mummies exactly what you'll need - lots of mine have been helpful telling me all the things they bought that they never used and what was a waste of money. I figure people used to raise babies in a drawer - they can't possibly need all that stuff in the shops!! lol. The nick name for ours is second hand Sid!!!
     
  12. pinkjumper

    pinkjumper Member

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    Im very scared about money too, these are all good ideas above. also i'm going to basically scrounge off people i know who have had babies, not that long ago, who will hopefully be eager to give away the stuff they've got lying around. i mentioned it to my friend the other day and she's already found someone who's moving up north and wants rid of all their baby clothes so that's that sorted!

    it's just such a worrying thing when your the person who makes the money. i am kind of the 'responsible' one in my relationship when it comes to finaces and i think its scary because it wasnt really the way i was brought up, my dad always looked after the money side of things, so i think i have a hidden expectation that the man will do it.

    my man is so bad at it, that i have to do it, which in some ways i like beause it MAKES me do it, but im scared about when the baby comes that things will get out of control and i wont be able to watch everything, and we will end up homeless or something!!!

    anyway these are sorts of thing that go through my mind, so your not alone . hope you manage to get things sorted...

    and tbh the other day i just said to my bf 'if it comes down to it you will have to get another job' . it might be worth raising it with your OH now, because if he is studying of course you want him to finish and pass, but also he is having the baby too, so he might need to think about how he is going to provide for the baby once you are not able to work so hard. just a thought. at least you will find out what he thinks about that, or how possible it might be.

    good luck!
     
  13. coruscating17

    coruscating17 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah it is stressful when we're the main earners as it puts even more pressure on us. I'm the same as you Pinkjumper in that I'm the one responsible for the finances too. I can earn significantly more than my OH at the moment until he's finished his degree, so decided it's best I go back to work after a few months whilst he studies full time and looks after baby. I think what's keeping me going is knowing it isn't forever...he'll earn a lot more in the future and so will I as I'm doing a Masters too (nothing like a bit of extra stress in my life!!), so just got to get through the next few years. Guess we all just have to take it a day at a time.
    I've just been on to the NCT website and put the dates of the Nearly New sales in my diary from March onwards, so with that, Gumtree, Freecycle and eBay I should be sorted without shelling out too much!!
     
  14. babyem

    babyem Well-Known Member

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    My OH is considering going to work in London with some of his friends on a building site, so would only be home fri-sun night... I would hat being alone all week, but if I want to give my baby the things they want and need, it has to be done :(
     

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