Stressed Out

Discussion in 'First Trimester' started by rainbow.nicola, Jun 16, 2013.

  1. rainbow.nicola

    rainbow.nicola Well-Known Member

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    The night I found out I was pregnant I quit smoking and Ross had just after me, so he said. He lives with his gran just now as she's on her own after her husband passed away and I even asked her if he had, and she said yeah.

    But today someone in my work told me that he hadn't at all. He just lied to me and got his gran to also lie to me. This is total bullshit, I'm sick of this crap and I thought he'd have grown up a bit by now and known not to lie to me anymore.

    So when I got in from work, he was here to spend time with me, I kicked him out and now I'm just sitting here pretty pissed off and upset. BLAH
     
  2. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    :( bad that he lied, but maybe in a way he is helping by not smoking around you or making u crave etc? I didnt smoke much but when i found out i was preg i quit and its so bloody hard n my oh still leaves cigarettes on the table etc :(. xxx
     
  3. rainbow.nicola

    rainbow.nicola Well-Known Member

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    He's lied about things before and it's not went down very well. I don't think there's any excuse to lie to someone. People in work smoke, family smoke and I haven't felt the need to or craved it. He doesn't live with me at this point and sitting telling me he's quit when he hasn't is bullshit. I don't need to stress wondering what he's lying about next or what he's having his family cover his tracks about. The fact he can simply lie to my face every day when I generally ask him how quitting is going just pisses me off and that his family, knowing we're suppose to be in a proper relationship, going to move in and having a child, should know better. He's young, yes but she could have told him he shouldn't be lying to me but she didn't she just lied to my face too. His family don't particularly like me and say that by me having this baby I'm holding him back from his future so I already don't like them, nevermind making that worse by requesting they get in the middle and lie to me.
     
  4. mrz85

    mrz85 Well-Known Member

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    I understand why your mad not nice being lied to x
     
  5. MrsS143

    MrsS143 Well-Known Member

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    Are you sure shes lied?
    he could be lying to her too? X
     
  6. rainbow.nicola

    rainbow.nicola Well-Known Member

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    I asked him if he'd been smoking in his house and mentioned that I had asked his gran and he said he told her to lie to me. :/
     
    #6 rainbow.nicola, Jun 16, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2013
  7. babyk

    babyk Well-Known Member

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    As wrong as it was for him to lie to u, he prob thought sayin he wasn't smoking would offer u support in some man thinking way..
    Maybe just talk to him tell him that u don't want ne lies no matter how small as they cause u stress an u'd rather him just b honest as ur carrying his baby its the least he could do x
     
  8. rainbow.nicola

    rainbow.nicola Well-Known Member

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    I understand that but he should be actually supporting me instead of pretending to. I feel a lot better today about it, I was just seeing red last night. I just can't get over that his family would lie to me too to cover up for him. My family wouldn't just do that if it was the other way around, they'd encourage me to be honest but heyho.
     
  9. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    It is bad and seems very childish considering you're committing to and setting up a life together xxx
     
  10. rainbow.nicola

    rainbow.nicola Well-Known Member

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    He's always been pretty childish tbh, he's only 20. One of those people who gets everything done for them and things. I think that contributes.

    We weren't making any plans for the future until we got the surprise so I think he's scared, a lot is going to change. I don't think that's any excuse though. I don't think there is any good reason to lie. I don't see the point in it.
     
    #10 rainbow.nicola, Jun 17, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2013
  11. Alwaystrying

    Alwaystrying Well-Known Member

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    Now being an ex smoker I know how hard it is, I gave up 2 weeks before I found out i was pregnant, to be honest I still get times now where I could still have one, my DH said he would quit but he brought a pack at the weekend, was very apologetic and promised he would give up again soon

    Lying is bad but like others have said he probably thought by telling you he had quit would make you feel better.
     
  12. rainbow.nicola

    rainbow.nicola Well-Known Member

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    He didn't tell me so I wouldn't hassle him, basically. I had to quit too so I know it's hard. I've been smoking for years. It's still no excuse to lie and make things worse between me and his family. His family are going to be my family in a way soon the last thing I need is to resent them for anything else.
     
    #12 rainbow.nicola, Jun 17, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2013
  13. Sophie_P

    Sophie_P Well-Known Member

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    Quitting smoking is very hard i'm sure you know, it's no excuse for lying though. I would appreciate a simple bit of honesty. I quit the day I found out I was pregnant and still crave now, my oh has got a vapour for outside. Can he do this for some sort of compromise?
    I appreciate all you wanted was not to be lied to in the first place. Xx
     
  14. Sophie_P

    Sophie_P Well-Known Member

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    Quitting smoking is very hard i'm sure you know, it's no excuse for lying though. I would appreciate a simple bit of honesty. I quit the day I found out I was pregnant and still crave now, my oh has got a vapour for outside. Can he do this for some sort of compromise?
    I appreciate all you wanted was not to be lied to in the first place. Xx
     
  15. rainbow.nicola

    rainbow.nicola Well-Known Member

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    I'm not forcing him to quit smoking, I didn't ask him to quit, he said he would, he said he had. So I don't see the point what so ever. He's been trying to quit for a long time so I said it would be good to stop together but I understand it's hard and he's stressed out with work and everything.

    If it was me lying to him about something and I asked a member of my family to lie to my partner for me too, they would put me right and tell me I shouldn't be lying in the first place, not encouraging this behavior. That's just pissed me off the most tbh. I'm pregnant with his child, we've been together a few years and he's planning to move in. I would have thought that they had more respect for me than to deem it acceptable for him to lie to my face and also lie to my face. If it was something worse, if he was being shady and going behind my back would they just lie to me about it? :shakehead:
     
  16. Sophie_P

    Sophie_P Well-Known Member

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    Tbh that's what I thought. Hopefully this won't happen again chick. Xx
     
  17. rainbow.nicola

    rainbow.nicola Well-Known Member

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    Better not or I'll batter him :) Usually when we fall out I feel bad and message him when I go out of my mood but when I didn't I think he realized how serious I was about it. Hopefully lessons been learned. Things have changed now, he has to realize it's not just about me and him and I'm not going to take crap anymore, better things to think about now. hahaha.
     
  18. Sophie_P

    Sophie_P Well-Known Member

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    Amen to that ;-)
     

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