I've lost all hope of getting pregnant now. I think this is a good thing as its being realistic after 21 months of trying and only being 26 now. I have such a strong feeling I will never be able to get pregnant and I'm grieving really badly because I feel in my heart I will never be a mummy the traditional way. I love this place and I want to keep 'TTC' so we can show the fertility specialists that we have actually tried so so so so hard, rather than missing fertile window or not having regular enough sex etc etc. I don't want to leave but I am so sceptical now. I see all the positivity of our lovely new members on here and I can't imagine ever feeling that way again about TTC. It feels like a joke now that we are even bothering to keep 'trying'. Should I leave? I would miss you all lots. I'm taking a back seat from here already which is why I'm not posting as much. I just don't feel like I have any hope left.