Still living in potty training hell

[Rooster30]

My son is 3 years 3 months old. I randomly started trying potty training on and off since before he was two and it just caused so much stress everytime. Just before his 3rd birthday I just went for it - all or nothing, and he's been in pants ever since... but not dry. I'm really getting quite wound up now. Today he has done three wees in his pants. He won't go to the potty unless we tell him to. He won't poo in the potty. My patience is wearing so thin. It honestly feels like he'll be wetting his pants until he hits 30 or something.

I just can't believe that we've gotten practically nowhere over all this time. His nephew, 20 months younger can crasp this concept better than him. Bribes, treats, reward charts all mean nothing. Sometimes he will stay dry but never takes himself to the potty or loo (he hates the loo, even with a kiddy seat).

On a side note, he has been poorly on and off with colds and currently has the runs which I know will shake things up a bit, but even when well he's not doing ittttt.

I know all children are different but this feels incredibly and painfully slow.

On the positive, he is good at talking...

Just tell me there is light at the end of this crazy long tunnel of doom and wet pants.

 

[Mrs CW]

Our nephew has just taken a couple of months to train. It took a lot of persuasion to get him to use either a potty or the toilet but they did get there. I don't know if you've tried it but does he stand up to wee? My boys much prefer it. Sorry I can't give much advice, I hope he gets there soon x

 

[EllieH]

You're doing so well, don't give up! There is light at the end of the tunnel, I'm a nursery assistant and I've only ever know 1 child that has struggled to mostly stay dry throughout the day (but they're under help from their doctors from a problem when they were little) past 6 months of being in pants.
Does he go to nursery/preschool? Have you spoken to the staff there and see if anything works for them or any ideas they might have?
Do just keep going with it though, he may just click one day, but just keep the potty around even in the room he plays in so if he sees it might think 'oo I need to go'? have him in just pants at home or nothing at all? (I know you said that bribes mean nothing BUT) prise loads when we does go to the potty and give him chocolate, lil 'pocket money' toys or do an activity together that he really enjoys after (a book or train or maybe even making cakes or getting art out)
I'm sure you probably have done these one way or another but I hope I helped. All the best of luck, it WILL get better.
X

 

[Rooster30]

Thanks ladies. He has stayed dry at preschool today but I think he just holds it in until he gets home. He'll wet himself if I don't direct him to the potty. Argh. This is so so tough.

I'll have a chat with my HV on Wednesday and preschool next week about it.

 

[russellmuscle]

We are in the process of potty training. Jackson is quite bright most ways, can speak well but the potty has taken time fr him to understand enough for us to go with it.

So far he will take himself to the potty at home but thats because we just leave him bare bum, if I put clothes or pants on he doesnt know to go and undress himself.

Weve been doing this in the afternoons and hes still not dry at night either, despite using the potty before bed. We have just had a chat wih preschool who have said some kids in is group are starting so best to try now. They take them in every 15 mins.

I dunno how itll go, but we need to start somewhere, think the main thing is not to force it or show your frustrated althogh I know it can be. His teacher says today poos are hardest to grasp, we havent had anything full size yet, just a rabbit drop twice.

Youll get there hun xxxx

 

[flexilexi394]

Always ask for advice, Sofia was a dream to potty train, until she started preschool. She was fully potty trained at 2 and a bit (they say girls do it earlier) and then she started preschool about 4 months after we had mastered potty training. She then regressed and wet herself a lot, she only poo'd a couple of times though thankfully.

She is now 5 and tonight I have a meeting with the school about her wetting herself every day. I feel your struggle because honestly by now I cannot believe I am having this conversation with her teacher later, it is a right downer. However, she was always a good talker and they say sometimes they are better at some things rather than others.

Just get as much advice and help as you can from your health visitor and from the preschool or nursery, because they do pick up more on it and help you. My preschool used to do a toilet train so all the wetting kids got reminded quite often to go to the toilet.

Good luck!xx

 

[Hoping for no2]

We had a nightmare potty training our eldest, took about a year all in. He was 3.5 before being properly trained. He used to poo himself every time. Hang in there, it will just click for him at some point. I think it was a control thing tbh. Main thing is don't force the issue as it only makes it worse in my experience. I wish we'd taken a break for a few months rather than continuing on. He will get there though. X

 

[*glow*]

Hi
One of my children (son) took a year. He took a couple of days to be dry but poo was around a year.

I was really frustrated and worried but the health visitor told me very few children never get there so have patience.

One day he just got up, walked to the toilet and went was so strange!! Never looked back.

It was suggested some children like the comfort of going in pants / nappy. No idea if that's true tho!

Massive hugs you will get there I promise and you are definitely not alone xxx

 

[Rooster30]

Thanks all. Fingers crossed he'll be dry soon. I'm seeing the HV tomorrow so will definitely get some advice from her.

 

[CARNAT22]

It's well documented here how I struggled with James. He is still in nappies at night (and they are always wet in the mornings so he isn't ready for night dryness yet). He suffers chronic constipation - due to being super fussy with food - so he only goes for a poo 2-3 times per week and usually it's overnight in his nappy but if he feels the urge he always asks for a nappy.

So although he is almost 100% dry in waking hours, we're still struggling overall.

All I can say is if you don't have any massive need to have him trained (I guess it will be preschool is September?) then maybe for your own sanity, take a step back.

James is now in preschool full time and that made a massive difference. We've had a few accidents since he started in November but touch wood none since he went full time 2nd week in January. The teachers systematically ask the kids if they need the loo and if they note a child hasn't been for a while they gently remind..... I do the same at home.

It's a killer and I've hated every second but I promise he won't be wetting himself aged 30!!

X

 

[russellmuscle]

We have commenced preschool potty training, so far this week he's not did a pee at nursery on the pan but this whole week from when he wakes and any time he's home he quite happily pees, not sure if the pan at nursery is intimidating or the fact he's going in a group is distracting.

Think we will keep it up a few weeks and revisit if he's still not going at nursery.

Im also halving what he would get after teatime ie half a cup instead of a cup of milk and this morning he was less wet.

xxxx

 

[Rooster30]

My son is already in preschool part time. He holds it in there (for the most part). I've noticed he wets himself mainly in the afternoon and keeps dry for the most part in he mornings. He wet himself this afternoon after staying dry all morning - even whilst we went out for two hours, he came back still dry then he flipping sits happily wetting himself at 4pm

The HV couldn't offer many other options, just to keep going and offered sympathies as she could well understand my frustration. I think I must have looked close to tears (I sure felt like it).

Yes, my son also has bad bad constipation due to his rubbish dinner (none) eating. When he was in hospital for a viral induced wheeze the doctor said it was chronic and very bad so he's been on laxatives ever since.

 

[Rooster30]

Another afternoon, another pair of wet flipping pants. We've asked all afternoon and taken him sporadically to the loo and he still effing wets himself. 4 months of this complete nonsense now. Fed up and struggling to keep a cool head.