Staying Calm when AF arrives

[lemur9]

This is our second month actively trying to conceive, although its been almost a year that we stopped using contraceptives and decided to let nature take its course. Last month, I pretty much knew I wasn't pregnant due to us not knowing at all what we were doing and trying to do everything the right way. This month, we were ready. Did tons of research, visited the dr and got clean checks, everything was A-okay. After having completely different symptoms this month, I just knew that I was pregnant this time around, but still did not want to get my hopes up. Yesterday, I had some brownish vaginal discharge and later was pinkish after I went to use the bathroom. I thought it could have been implantation bleeding since it was only little spots here and there. I also had some very light cramping, nothing compared to my period cramps. Yesterday was also 2 days before AF was due to arrive. This morning, there was one little brown spot on a liner that I wore to bed just in case. My BBT also dropped to from 97.9 (yesterday) to 97.33. I have started my period early maybe once or twice but many years ago. Never early in the last 5 years. Today, AF came. I am disappointed something fierce. It's taking everything in me to not cry. I'm sure some of you are going through this, too. How do I keep myself from losing it? How do you do it? Any advice is helpful!

 

[MrsS15]

Hi and welcome to PF!

It's very hard to stay rational, especially when you think it might have been your month. We've been trying for almost 2 years and the disappointment still stings as much as it did at the beginning. What I find easier each month is to test the day before my period is due and that way if it's negative it eases the sting when AF arrives, although that's not for everyone. I also make plans for round about when I'm due so I have something to look forward to. Also each month I change it up a bit, add a new vitamin in or try do something new that cycle. It gives me fresh energy for that month!

Good luck xx

 

[lemur9]

Thank you so much for replying. I had a small cry and I actually feel a little better. What type of vitamins do you take? I take prenatals and B-12 daily. My husband also takes vitamins to keep himself in good shape.

I have a consultation with a midwife next month and I am hoping she can help us. Ironically, I meet with her on my next expected date of AF. So hopefully, fingers crossed, I will conceive next time around.

 

[MoominGirl]

Hello and welcome

I can totally relate to the disappointment. I've got to admit the monthly cry session is becoming a bit of a habit! For me, it does help to get the feelings out and OH is so supportive that I'm very lucky on that front. Like MrsS15, I'm trying to make little changes that make me feel like I'm taking a bit more control of the aspects that I can control if that make s sense. Joining this forum was the first of those little things and I'm so glad I did as it just gives me somewhere to let off some steam. Although I couldn't ask for more from OH, I'm so aware that I don't want to drag him down as I know he hates seeing me in such a state!

Good luck with your journey.

 

[lemur9]

Yes, joining this forum has helped me also. Last night I cried... a lot. A lot more than I expected actually. But I am glad that I was able to let it out and I am glad that I found this forum, otherwise my poor husband would feel worse for me lol. He, also, has been very supportive and trying to do things, too, to better our chances. Its so good to know that I'm not alone and I have him and others like you all who understand. Happy New Year, everyone! Here's to a new year and more chances at conceiving!

 

[MoominGirl]

I think feeling I'm not alone is what I find best about coming on here. Unfortunately I feel like I'm surrounded by super-fertile people so it doesn't feel like others really understand. That's why me and OH haven't actually announced to family that we're TTC. I think it's the best approach for now as I don't think I could cope with the extra pressure. Though it means that poor OH has to deal with all of my emotions!! Feeling like I'm doing things to help us along has helped more than I expected. I was still tearful but OH did admit that he thought I'd be a whole lot worse than I was at the start of my cycle this month and to be honest I was pleasantly surprised too!!

 

[lemur9]

Yes, it is nice having others who share the same issues. So many I know told me "oh I got pregnant easy" and it is so discouraging for me. We also are not telling many people due to having to answer "no" every time someone says "are you pregnant yet?" (which happened to me for the first time today). It was bad, but don't think I could do that. Thank goodness for this forum!

 

[MoominGirl]

I don't think I could deal with being asked repeatedly "are you pregnant yet?" I actually think I'd flip out in public and it would all be quite embarrassing really! I'm also tired of hearing all the tales of easy pregnancies and of course the completely unplanned ones. That just feels impossible to me right now!!

I'm so glad I found this forum. It just makes sharing my feelings that bit easier. OH is keen for me to share with someone else other than him - just so I can get another perspective and also so it takes a bit of the pressure off us as a couple. I totally get it as I'm so aware of dragging him down with me but I'm not sure I'm ready to share my woes with someone else close to me yet.

 

[lemur9]

Yes. I have only been asked that question once, so far. This month, the hubby and I aren't actively "trying" but are just gonna try and have fun and see what happens. I'm still going to track ovulation and take my BBT, but going to focus more on collecting information for my doctor rather than conceiving. Also not going to stress over the small details and possible pregnancy symptoms during the 2 week wait. Maybe we'll get lucky.