So disappointed

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by bbee, Jun 17, 2013.

  1. bbee

    bbee Well-Known Member

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    ~ RANT ALERT ~
    As many of you probably me know me and my boyfriend have been having some issue recently. We decided to go on a Break a few weeks ago an it's done nothing.
    I really thought he would change but no change has been done. Friends still continue to come first, I still don't trust him and he's the same idiot. I have seen him make some efforts for example Friday night I was upset and he rang an could tell I was sad so he invited me over to make sure I was okay, instead of going out with his friends & he spent three hours in the kitchen cooking me a meal! Which was nice and it felt like we were getting somewhere.
    But today he's dropped five bombshells on me:
    1. He can't make It to the 20 week scan due to his job (he starts Monday and its his first job. It's also in Birmingham because his mum is living there at the moment and she got him it)
    2. The job wasn't permanent, only til baby is born. Now it is permanent. So me and baby will only see him at weekends as I live in Lincoln!
    3. He's going to Amsterdam in November with his 'friends' - THE MONTH BABY IS BORN!!!!
    I say his 'friends', they aren't his friends at all. They do nothing but ruin thing for him and are awful influences. I don't trust him due to stuff in the past, so going to Amsterdam the number one city for prostitution and smoking weed legally (whilst hues trying to stop or at least cut down for baby) it isn't the best place to be, eapecially with those 'friends' of his.
    The thing was really pissed me off was that he said to his mates who didn't believe they would actually go, he said 'well now I've got proper income we can!' He has four pay days before baby is due and he is wasting it an not saving any.
    4. He's going to a free party on Saturday which is a massive illegal party in the middle of nowhere where everyone is forcing drugs down one another, it lasts about two days and its disgusting. People die at these parties!!
    5. When he's back from Amsterdam he's spending a couple of nights in Leeds with the same group of awful friends for his birthday.
    He will more than likely miss the birth of his child.
    I am fuming and a disappointed, I've just been crying.
    I do have a right to be angry don't I? Would you be? It's hard to tell if I'm over exaggerating because of my hormones or if i do really have a right to be upset.
    I really don't know what to do. It's like he's living on another planet!!:'(
    p.s sorry for typos im just so angry right now :( xxx
     
    #1 bbee, Jun 17, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2013
  2. Ella1979

    Ella1979 Well-Known Member

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    You are not exaggerating because of your hormones! And you have every right to be angry. I'm so sorry, it seems like a really awful situation for you to be in. He really should grow a pair, man up and face the fact he's going to be a dad. Also, you've got to consider whether he's the type of man you see as being a good father and role model for your baby.
     
  3. bbee

    bbee Well-Known Member

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    thanks for your reply!
    I'm glad I'm not over exaggerating! I am so angry!
    The last thing I want is for my baby to have that as a role model. I want my baby to associate weed as a nasty plant that grows inbetween mummy's flowers, not that mysterious green stuff under daddy's bed.
    at the moment I wouldn't trust him alone with the baby, and I know that sounds awful but I genuinely wouldn't! x
     
  4. Lou1103

    Lou1103 Well-Known Member

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    Omg!!! I would be fuming as well!! Not so much about the job because it seems hes trying but amsterdam?!? Omg! And i agree he should be saving for the baby!! And way worse that its all the month you're due! What if you're slightly early or whatever, will he come back early? I don't think you're exaggerating at all, it sounds like he's being really selfish :( xxx
     
  5. bbee

    bbee Well-Known Member

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    I asked him if he would come back if there were an emergency or baby came and he said 'it a lads holiday, so we've agreed no phones.' So I wouldnt be able to get through to him if anything were to happen!!!! I think it's disgusting the way he's acting!! :'( xxx
     
    #5 bbee, Jun 17, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2013
  6. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun hes got some SERIOUS growing up to doo!!!!!

    You really are better without him! :( xx
     
  7. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    It's not even the weed as such as it is his overall terrible attitude that bothers me.

    No phones? The month you are due? WTF!

    I know he is young but Jesus you really need to think if this is the kind of person you want in your babies life.

    xxx
     
    #7 CARNAT22, Jun 17, 2013
    Last edited: Jun 17, 2013
  8. Gemsy

    Gemsy Well-Known Member

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    said it before and I will say it again, this BOY (because that is what he is), is not fit to be a father. You need to get away from him, and fast.
     
  9. bbee

    bbee Well-Known Member

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    i feel like im hanging onto what we used to have. we used to be so perfect together.
    its just making me so unhappy, i know he can be an amazing dad if he just put his mind to it, but he just wont xxx
     
  10. Rebecca89

    Rebecca89 Well-Known Member

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    You are completely right to be furious, I would be fuming!! I really hope he's grows up a lot and sorts out his priorities before your baby comes! Hope you are ok, seems like he is giving you a really tough time at a time when you should be calm and enjoying your pregnancy :( xxx
     
  11. bbee

    bbee Well-Known Member

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    im just so devastated :-( i thought he'd change. i guess you cant change some people.
    just going to have to move on without him i suppose, and hope he sorts himself out anyway xxx
     
  12. Lau

    Lau Well-Known Member

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    Omg Hun you and your baby will be so much better without this attitude.
    Huge hugs!! Don't dwell on it, he obviously doesn't realise what an important time in your lives this is going to be.

    Xxxxx
     
  13. Sophie_P

    Sophie_P Well-Known Member

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    Kick him to the kerb! He sounds ridiculously immature honey and you deserve so much better. Hugs xx
     
  14. merlin

    merlin Well-Known Member

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    Wss^^^
    Get rid hun! The thing is aswell, that you have your head screwed on I would say, he sounds like a proper twat ( sorry! ) the experience you are going through is going to make you grow up even more pretty quick and if it doesn't/ isn't doing the same for him you will no longer be compatible anyway!

    Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
     
  15. H16

    H16 Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to say it hun but I think you should dump his sorry ass.

    Anyone that puts a lads holiday before his girlfriend and the birth of his child is a sad sack who does not deserve to be a father. No excuses hun, I know you love him but from what you have said he really doesn't deserve you or the baby.

    Sorry to hear he is still putting you through this crap hun, you don't deserve it or need it right now xx
     
  16. Smileygirl

    Smileygirl Well-Known Member

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    You need to be really strong here for you and your baby and walk away from him. He is not a suitable role model for your baby and does not deserve any more chances from you. Walking away will be hard but it's something you need to do. In time, you'll realise it's the best thing you ever did. This stress he's causing you is not good for you or the baby. Any man who does not prioritise the birth of his child over a lads' holiday is not worth your love. Sorry to be so direct, but what you've said has really concerned me and I really feel for you. Be strong and walk away xx
     
  17. babyslog

    babyslog Well-Known Member

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    ending your relationship with him doesnt mean he wont be a part of your babies life. Just not yours!
    If he wants to be a dad he will do so by proving to you that he will change, hopefully be there at the birth, take responsibility, sort himself out, GROW UP and support you when your baby is here and give that baby all the love it deserves.

    But you dont have to be in a relationship with him, and tbh hun, the way he is atm its not good for you!
    Ypu being this stressed and upset will only do you and ur baby harm. And u want to stay away from that.

    Think ending it is for the best.
    If things pick up in the future then they will. If not im sure youll have alot of support from your family and you little baba will be 10000% loved very much! with or without him!! xx
     
  18. Sophie_P

    Sophie_P Well-Known Member

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    Wss^
    Sorry to sound blunt but the thought of a baby being born whilst he is like this makes my blood boil.
    Be strong honey xx
     
  19. Sophie_P

    Sophie_P Well-Known Member

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    Wss^
    Sorry to sound blunt but the thought of a baby being born whilst he is like this makes my blood boil.
    Be strong honey xx
     
  20. iWitch

    iWitch Well-Known Member

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    I would honestly want to kill him! The fact that he's booked a hol around the time of the birth shows he has no consideration for you or the baby. Get rid, you'll be far better off on your own xx
     

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