So Anxious pregnant and 6 months after having a baby.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Chat' started by Zara96, Jul 4, 2020.

  1. Zara96

    Zara96 Well-Known Member

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    Hi ladies,
    I am back here again 6 months after giving birth and I think I am pregnant again I am so anxious and happy and feeling all these different emotions please has anyone been in this position and can help me or offer some support please. So many things are running around my head. I think I could only be about 5 weeks pregnant. Xx
     
  2. Kitana

    Kitana Moderator

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    Hey Zara,

    How are you hun? How unexpected! Are you sure you are pregnant?
     
  3. Zara96

    Zara96 Well-Known Member

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    Hi Kitana,
    Lovely to see a name I know.
    I am fine thank you I love being a mom. How are you? I am 3 days late no sign of period and I did a test this morning and I am sure its positive I will take another one tomorrow morning to check but there was 2 lines this morning. I am worried feel ashamed of myself and just all over the place. Xx
     
  4. Kitana

    Kitana Moderator

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    Aww hun, what did the oh say? Does he know?
    You shouldn't be ashamed! It's not like it's sure yet, plus you hardly can get pregnant by yourself.

    I've been fine, thanks for asking, DD2 is still breastfeeding despite trying to get her to take a bottle. I still haven't had AF yet!
    How is your LO?x
     
  5. Zara96

    Zara96 Well-Known Member

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    I told my other half he didnt say much apart from he will support me whatever happens. I just am so nervous and then thinking people will talk about me, what about my Dd1, how will she feel and what about my work, what will happen. I know it will be hard but I created another life this is my fault. Apart of me thinks you can do this it will be challenging but I can do it then lots more things run through my head. I will test again when I am out of bed this morning. I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Such a big shock to me. Glad your ok and oh fair play to you for still breastfeeding I couldnt do it I didn't for about 48 hrs and I just was in to much pain. So little one still has not had a bottle? Wow I had AF about 4 or 6 weeks after birth. My LO is brilliant she is sitting up now and on solid foods shes my best friend xx
     
  6. Kitana

    Kitana Moderator

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    Aww, she's sitting up already! Such a strong girl!
    Have you tested again?
    If you are worried about what people might say, then just say you wanted a small age gap and wanted to try asap as it took a long time with DD1?! I mean it's none of their business but a small white lie might make you feel better and less judged.x
     
  7. Zara96

    Zara96 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah shes sitting up. Yeah I have tested again and its positive. Thank you. Do you know anything about work what can happen there ? What they can say ? Can they sack me? Can they make me leave my job ? Or not have me back to work after my maternity again? Xx
     
  8. Kitana

    Kitana Moderator

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    I have no idea hun, I don't live in the UK but there have to be laws in place to protect women during pregnancy. Are you back at work?
    I have a few colleagues who were pregnant soon after the first and they said the beginning was hell but their children grew up like twins. It will be very hard on you and your oh as well.
    Hope you can find help for your work related questions.x
     
  9. SockVortex

    SockVortex Well-Known Member

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    It’s illegal for them to fire you. One of my friends has just got pregnant again whilst on maternity leave (her son is eight months old) and will be facing the same situation as you. When are you planning on going back to work? Were you going to take the full year?
     
  10. Zara96

    Zara96 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Kitana, not till november hun. I might speak to someone from an advice place on work. Thank you so lovely to talk to u again.
     
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  11. Zara96

    Zara96 Well-Known Member

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    I am back at work in november doing 3 days a week I think that's what he has planned for me that was one of my options. I took a year of with first baby but maybe only take 9 months with my 2nd baby depending on how work reacts to me being pregnant again. Is your friend feeling worried to? X x
     
  12. SockVortex

    SockVortex Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure. I only tend to speak to her at my niece's birthday parties as we know her through my husband's best friend. I think your idea of speaking to an advisor is a good one :) We're planning on trying for a second baby when our son is around eight months old as it took us so long to conceive him and I'll be nearly 35 at that point. As such I'm only taking six months maternity leave so I can be back for longer before going on maternity leave again. :)
     
  13. Zara96

    Zara96 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for getting back to me. I am thinking of taking a lesser maternity with my next baby as I feel like I am letting work down. Its more work that is bothering me now I have emailed someone today from advice bureau and waiting on a email back hopefully can advise me what work will say or do. Good luck at trying to conceive again all the best. Xx
     
  14. Helen88uk

    Helen88uk Well-Known Member

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    I'm sure that your work cant do anything about it otherwise it would be classed as discrimination. But I know with my job (NHS), I'd need to be back at work for at least 3 months to be entitled to another lot of maternity pay.

    My twins are 10wk old and I'm so broody! I dont know what's wrong with me! I know for a fact I couldnt manage 3 kids under 2 lol, but I do want another and the fact that it took us almost 18 months to catch with these and that I'm 32... I dont wana wait too long before we try again. Probably start giving it a go around christmas time.

    Congratulations! You'll do great. Dont stress about work, just wait to hear back from the advice bureau x
     
  15. Zara96

    Zara96 Well-Known Member

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    Hi, thanks for replying. I am not fussed if they dont pay but I will be back for 4 or 5 months I think anyway I just dont want to lose my job. Oh wow well good luck at trying to conceive again I hope it all goes well. How are u finding it with twins? Thank you ever so much I am in total shock and I'm not sure if its sunk in yet haha. I will wait to hear off them and see what they say. Xxx
     
  16. Rose83

    Rose83 Well-Known Member

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    I had my daughter in December 2014 and was pregnant (intentionally) in June 2015. I was a teacher and went back to work in the October 2015 and was planning to go on maternity leave at the end of February 2016. As it happened I was off sick for 6 weeks in January to February with a bad sinus infection, went back to work for a week then went on maternity. They can’t fire you for having babies close together.

    I had planned to go back to work after my second but when we looked at the cost of childcare for two young children while I was at work plus the petrol to get to work I would have only have made about £150 a month. So we decided it was probably best if I just left. I told them I wouldn’t be returning after my second maternity leave and the next month I was pregnant with my 3rd (that one was more of a surprise). We have waited until now to have our fourth so he is a bit older. It is tough to have children so close together in age but they are honestly all like best friends and don’t remember what it’s like to have no one else around. I wouldn’t change it for the world!
     
  17. Zara96

    Zara96 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much for your reassuring words and replying to me. Made me feel alot more at ease and congratulations on all your lovely little babas. I was so scared at first and didnt know how to feel but as the days have gone on I am really really excited now for the next few months I am scared to but I am just so happy that my little girl with have a best friend. I know it will be hard work but I am sure in time I will get the hang of it. Did you have your babies in a routine ? What did you find you did to make things a little easier for yourself? Xxxx
     
  18. Rose83

    Rose83 Well-Known Member

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    We have always had quite a set routine I suppose, we’d get up, get dressed, then breakfast lunch and dinner were always at the same time (breakfast as soon as up and downstairs, lunch midday, dinner 5pm). Nap time was about 1pm til 3. Watch ten minutes of in the night garden on CBeebies then up to the bath for about 6.30/6.45 and in bed asleep for 7.30pm. We always made sure we were home from places so as not to miss those times even if some people thought we were a bit mad. When my second came along he just settled into the same routine. In the early weeks I remember being too tired to get up and dressed in the morning before breakfast and I was ending up showering at lunch time. So at some point I decided this was getting silly and I needed to make sure I showered and dressed before I went downstairs otherwise the day just disappeared.

    things that helped me cope with two so young:
    A bouncy chair and one of those rocking swing chairs as my second loved them both and it allowed me to have hands free to play with my oldest and he would watch, she also loved swinging him and bouncing him.
    Bouncy chair in the bathroom too so he could sit outside the shower door and still see me, when he got older I got a cheap second jumperoo type activity centre to keep him amused.
    I had a fabric sling thing which he wasn’t massively keen on but did sometimes get used if he was in a total ‘do not put me down’ mood.
    My little girl also liked having a baby doll that she could look after the same way I was looking after her brother.
    Making batches of food I could feed oldest was also good so making a big pasta dish then freezing into little portions using Poundland little Tupperware so I wasn’t always having to think of something to cook for dinner.
    I’ll add anything else I think of!
     
  19. Zara96

    Zara96 Well-Known Member

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    You have been such a big help thank you so much and I really appreciate you taking the time to offer me some advice. I was thinking of getting a baby swing and a sling. My little girl is a very clingy little lady and worried how I will cope with little miss clingy lol and a new baby. I have been watching YouTube videos on 2 under 2 and seeing what it will be like with two little ones under two. My little girl is now in a routine of waking up having bottle breakfast the mid morning nap then dinner at 2 and then tea around 4ish and bottles and snacks in between she might fall asleep after tea for half hour then in pjs and last bottle by 7ish asleep by 7.45 and sleeps through till 3 till next bottle and sleeps all night till 7.00 7.30. My little girl sits in a bouncy chair while I have a bath now to. So would u say make food up and freeze when I can to make cooking abit easier. What pushchair did you have with your little ones? Xxx
     
  20. Rose83

    Rose83 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah definitely the freezing food helps!

    We had the Bugaboo donkey, we bought that in mono formation for our first because we knew we were planning to have two close together. It’s been an amazing pram and is still in use! I have a version 1 and they have just released the version 3 - main difference is a slightly lighter frame and foam filled wheels rather than air but new parts fit old models so if it was one you were interested in I would definitely consider looking at secondhand version 1.

    we also have an uppababy vista for when having them side by side isnt practical. I got this second hand and it was really well looked after. In total paid £300 for what would have cost me £1300 new. A few months after I got it the main chassis snapped, I phoned their customer services and gave them the serial number
    And no questions asked they sent me out a new chassis in 48 hours and picked up the old one. A new chassis is about £300 so basically I feel like I had an almost new pram and their customer services was excellent. So another one to consider second hand if you can find a good one (the 2015 model onwards) x
     

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