So angry & don't know what to do!

Discussion in 'Baby & Toddler' started by rheannymac, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. rheannymac

    rheannymac Well-Known Member

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    It's a long one, sorry!!

    Today I popped into my work to sort out me going back. I'd went in last week to organise it but my manager was off on holiday so I left him a letter.
    In the letter I'd written down the shifts I was able to do around childcare etc which I didn't think would be a problem as there has been 2 other girls who have gone back in the past month who have just told him what shifts they can & can't do and it's not been an issue.
    Anyway, so I popped in today and he came up to me in the middle of the shop, didn't even take me aside or into the staff area, and told me he'd sent me out forms through the post that I had to fill out in order to request the shifts I want to do (bullshit, I havn't received anything in the post) he then added that I needed to go through the "legal channels" and couldn't just tell him what shifts I wanted, I needed to fill out these forms and apply for them essentially but that "I wouldn't get them anyway so..." No explanation as to why not or what I could do about it but just to fill in these forms and he would let me know what head office says.
    I know the other 2 girls who've come back off mat leave didn't have to fill these forms in & "apply" to get what shifts they wanted. At the end of the day, my manager controls the department and does the rotas...so surely he'll be the one who knows whether I can have those shifts or not?
    It was the way he just said "apply for them....but you'll not get them" no compassion, no sympathy, no trace of him wanting to help, NOTHING!
    Came home, filled in the form so I could at least try, read the small print and it states clearly in it that HE is the one I give the form too as it's him that deals with it. I honestly think he was just telling me so I would blame someone else when it came back I couldn't get those shifts. He's already made it clear I wont get the shifts I need.

    So I'm at a loss at what to do. I can only get childcare for the days/times I expressed. What does he expect me to do? Leave Harry at home?
    What I don't understand is why he's being like this with me, but everyone else has gotten what they need? I've had many issues with him in the past, he's a horrible, horrible man. I've been raging about it all day, and I just really don't know what to do.
     
  2. Les1504

    Les1504 Well-Known Member

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    Aww so sorry to hear you're having a hard time hun, I'm not sure what to suggest as I went back full time in feb, but I know of other girls where I work have issues getting the part time hours they need to fit in around childcare. It's awful and puts pressure on that you don't need when you have a baby to think about! It sounds as though he's singled you out and decided to give you a hard time for some reason, I would be fuming too! I hope you get some better advice soon xxx
     
  3. rheannymac

    rheannymac Well-Known Member

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    Thanks lovely. I don't understand it at all. I'm only contracted to part time hours anyway, I just always done overtime before having Harry. I've just said I wouldn't be doing any overtime, and told him the hours I am able to get childcare for, which is restricted because we can't afford to pay for it and have to rely my mum being available. I told my manager those specific hours I wanted to do so my mum knew exactly when during the week she would have him and could plan her own shifts for work round it.
    But no, he doesn't understand that.
    If he doesn't give me these hours I will have no one to look after Harry. He's a wank. Scuse my French.
    I just don't understand why it's been okay for everyone else to come back and get what the want, but not me. It's like you said, he's singled me out cos we've never got on and don't like each other. Bleh.
     
  4. busymummy

    busymummy Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunately he doesn't have to agree to your request. However he does have to have a legitimate reason:

    Employers can only reject an application for one of the following reasons:

    extra costs which will damage the business
    the business won’t be able to meet customer demand
    the work can’t be reorganised among other staff
    people can’t be recruited to do the work
    flexible working will have an effect on quality and performance
    there’s a lack of work to do during the proposed working times
    the business is planning changes to the workforce

    xxx
     
  5. Lolly85x

    Lolly85x Well-Known Member

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    That's not fair if he's given it to other people. But maybe he's shot himself in the foot by giving these other girls the shifts they want and if he gives them to you too he won't have any staff to work the other days? I know to apply for flexible working or a set working pattern you do need to apply for it. But I guess that's in your favour as it gets it all official and down in writing. You can appeal any decision that's made. And they have to be accommodating and seen to be trying to help you come back to work. But they don't have to agree to set times, days etc if it doesn't work for the business :( xxx
     
  6. rheannymac

    rheannymac Well-Known Member

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    Thanks girls. I'm really not expecting him to go above & beyond for me, just give a little bit support on returning. He's not even trying to help. I genuinely feel like he's just being awkward on purpose.
    I've had issues with him many times before. When I told him I was pregnant he shook his head, sighed & went "well....congratulations I suppose" (another girl had announced she was pregnant a few weeks before me so he was obviously annoyed at the prospect of someone else being on mat leave)
    He's just a grade A bawheid! Xxx
     
  7. russellmuscle

    russellmuscle Well-Known Member

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    Aw hen what a plamf lol!

    If he is being difficult I'd go above and beyond him and speak to HR, let them know your being victimised as other employees have gotten what they want/need on and off!

    xxxxx
     
  8. Roo3

    Roo3 Well-Known Member

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    A similar situation has occurred where I work. When I went back a year ago I was told I could name the days I wanted to work as I wasn't going to be dealing with customers it didn't matter what days I worked as long as I did 2 days a week.
    Another girl is due back from maternity leave this month, and she has said she wants to work the same 2 days as me. My role is changing and me and this girl would be job sharing so we can't be in the office at the same time together.
    Her reasons for not being able to work the end of the week were that she took her son swimming!!! I was asked if I could change my days, which I replied no to.
    She's now going to be working the end of the week.

    My point is that your work do not have to accommodate the hours you request, they just have to keep a job open for you. Circumstances may have changed since the other people came back from maternity leave and that's why your manager is saying the things he is saying. At the end of the day, he has a business to run. His concern is that it runs smoothly and not your child care issues.
     
  9. NavyLouise

    NavyLouise Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear you're having this hassle, it's not what you need when you're having to go back and leave Harry anyway.
    As much as its not really your managers concern whether you can arrange childcare, surely he should want to help you out and accommodate you going back to work so it's as easy for you as possible. Like you said it sounds like he's just being an arse because of past disagreements!

    I'm not really sure what you could do, I would probably see who is normally working the time that you need and ask them if they'd have a problem with the change. If they say they wouldn't mind then surely your manager has no reason not to let you have those hours?

    :hugs:
     
  10. Mum2betash

    Mum2betash Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear how he is being with you. Maybe he is fed up with people picking and choosing what shifts they want to do. (not that I agree with that at all!) could you not perhaps find another job to fit in with your child are? Hope you get all sorted soon xx
     
  11. pandabear

    pandabear Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear your having problems. My friend had a similar issue when she went back to work in march. Not sure what sort of job u do? But we work in retail, she had to apply for flexible working. To cut a long story shirt she ended up getting the shifts she wanted in the first place.
    Hope u sort something soon x
     
  12. charliebear

    charliebear Well-Known Member

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    Its an awful worry to have to deal with when all you want to be doing is spending quality stress free time with your LO. :hug: Hope you get something sorted, like others say they have to have a pretty good reason to say no to you.

    I have had to apply for flexible working, I've pretty much picked my shifts for the last 4yrs and now they tell me I have to do it 'officially'! Well boy was I p**sed :wall2:
    So, I'd already looked at the rota and seen what shifts I could pick up, checked OH's hrs, arranged childcare for both children and chatted to the staff that do the rota and everything looked fine.

    To cut a long story short, I have a meeting at 2pm tomorrow to chat about my request and I'll know then if its all been passed. Not what I need when I go back in less than a month :shock:
     
  13. rheannymac

    rheannymac Well-Known Member

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    I know it's not his concern about childcsre, it's the fact he's treating me so different to others. He does the rotas a week in advance, and they're never set shifts. It's always all over the place hence why I worked out childcare first then told him what shifts I could do. The only people who have set shifts are the girls with kids, some have had them set recently...there's 2 girls who've had them set for a few years. None of them have had to apply for them, he's just accommodated them. We wrk in a big team (I work in debenhams) so I know for a fact there are people to cover the rest of the week. I've even spoke to people in my department who have said they don't care what shifts they do so would work around my new shifts to help. But the manager just seems to unwilling to help. Like I said I've never gotten on with him, he's always made it very clear he doesn't like me & I feel like he's just making things difficult on purpose.

    HOWEVER, I do have exciting news in that I got a phone call this morning from a job is applied for ages ago but find get, they'd kept me on file and want me to go in for a trial & interview on Tuesday and its perfect hours for me! So fingers crossed I get it!!
     
  14. Hope81

    Hope81 Well-Known Member

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    I had a shitty manager like that during my residency.
    I never liked being on duty during weekends though other colleagues of mine they were crazy about them as thy were payed doubled during weekends.
    He was always putting me on duty on a Saturday and that was my worst nightmare as you are a hospital from Saturday morning to Sunday morning when you go home to sleep and next day is work again...I hated it until i let people know that I enjoy it as so much extra money. One week later I looked at the on duty nights for the following month and I had none on a Saturday...
    I guess my boss heard that I likes the extra money so he stopped putting me Saturdays...
    Cheeky ******* but I did get what I wanted in the end lol.

    I hope you get the new job. I have everything crossed for you.
     

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