So angry and tired :-(

Discussion in 'Long Term TTC & Fertility Issues' started by nicky1987, Jan 15, 2012.

  1. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

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    To cut a long story short me and OH had a massive argument last night (bigger than ever before) it resulted in him screaming at me - something he has never done before and then me telling him to go f*** himself and find someone better to be with :-(

    Decided i was going to sleep on the sofa cos i couldnt be arsed with it. He apologised to me last night but i was so wound up and angry i couldnt face going through to bed. So at 4.30 am he came and woke me up and made me go to bed!!

    Everything is ok today he said to forget it but im so scared that all this stress and anxiety i am feeling is starting to rip us apart :-( I do not know what i would do without him and im trying not to let myself worry about all the tests and appointments we are going though. It just all seems to have built up again and im taking it out on him :(

    Do any of you ladies have any advice on good ways of not letting this tear us apart? :mad:

    xx
     
  2. blondy13

    blondy13 Well-Known Member

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    Oh arguments in the evening are nasty aren't they. I'm glad you've made up now. I had a similar argument with DH a few weeks ago, I think when we're worried and stressed about things it can easily lead to arguments and affect a relationship. I have found talking everything through in detail together helps, DH is an expert on Ovaries and tubes now lol. Hope you're doing ok xxx
     
  3. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

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    I just think everything has finally hit home now! we get his SA results on wednesday then the following wednesday we are back at the hospital for his check up on his eyes (last appointment we were told he could lose his vision completely) and then the week after its our follow up appointment so its all so hectic!!

    Just at a fed up stage i think but we are ok today. Hopefully things will settle down again x
     
  4. charliebear

    charliebear Well-Known Member

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    Oh hun :hug: Glad everything is ok today.

    We sometimes argue quite a bit, it comes in cycles. Depending on if we are stressed, anxious, etc.

    Its a stressful time waiting for results. Hope its all good news. x
     
  5. BabyLover

    BabyLover Well-Known Member

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    The only advice I would give you is to remember you are both in this together and to stay strong for each other. Me and my hubby don't argue at all, as we love each other so much and wanting to have a baby is one step further of having a family we have dreamt and longed for over the last 5 years of TTC.

    Try talking to each other every so often and asking each other how they are feeling and just listen to each other, because if you both keep your feelings inside and don't let them recognise to each other then that is going to make you burst out in anger at each other.

    Stay strong and I am sure everything will be okay

    Donna x
     
    #5 BabyLover, Jan 15, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2012
  6. Kay Kay

    Kay Kay Well-Known Member

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    hey nicky, sorry you and OH are having a hard time. ttc can be so hard on a relationship, the only advice i can give you is to keep communicating with each other and don't bottle things up. someone once said to me if you're arguing with your partner and it's getting outta hand ask yourself 'do you care more about the argument or the person you're arguing with?' or something along those lines, anyway it stuck with me and i think about that whenever we get in a fight and it helps put things in perspective. hugs xxx
     
  7. maybe baby

    maybe baby Well-Known Member

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    Aww sorry things are affecting you and OH, I hope you get good news this week that makes things easier.:hugs:

    Xx
     
  8. laurat

    laurat Well-Known Member

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    Sorry your having a hard time honey! This ltttc can be so blooming tough! Xxx
     
  9. Corrinne37

    Corrinne37 Well-Known Member

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    Hey Nicky,
    Me and my OH have had big blow ups too, it is all the stress of everything, esp with the Mc's too,last one OH took so hard and really suffered from depression. It is so tough on a relationship but only because you are the closest thing to each other and just take it out on each other.
    But totally agree with the other girls,just be open and honest about e'thing with each other, and remember you do love each other and in this together. Have an outlet outside every now and then , a girlie/bloke night out , whatever it takes to still be able to laugh together and feel close against all the odds.
    xxx
     
  10. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks everyone, we've been out for a walk tonight and everything is back on track. I know he loves me i just have a really bad habit of bottling things up and then losing all confidence in myself which ends up in a big argument!! I'm not really the best at talking about how i feel and i have a lot of things that have just built up over the last 12 months.

    But we are fine and i have a lot of support from family, friends and you girls on here who are amazing! Hopefully a good nights sleep will make everything better xxx
     
  11. Gizzy Kelly

    Gizzy Kelly Well-Known Member

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    arh hon I really felt for you reading your post. Anyone in our situation will have rows. We have done so too and they have ended in tears!! It is the probably going to be the one time in your life you both have no control over. TTc for us has been full of ups and downs. The tests are quite invasive for you both and can be stressful. You only have each other to take it out on. However you are in this together, it is team work regarldess of where the issues lie. It is how you work it out and move on from your arguments. I thought it was sweet that he came and got you and wanted you to come back to bed. You are obviously close and he did say sorry. I spoke to my cousin a few months ago after a row that Neil and i had and she confided in me that it taken her 3 years TTC and it had in fact brought them closer together as a couple.

    I got my period today and I was in tears. Neil found me, gave me a huge cuddle and we both laughed after a while. Over the last 2 years we have been to appointments together, had tests and I for the first time ever have realised how much he must love me to go through all this to have a baby. We might not ever conceive but the fact is that he has done this for me means everything. Your hubby is totally the same in what he does for you and what you do for him. I can see form your post that you hubby has a problem with his eyes which must be really stressful.

    Take it from me, your rows are normal. Love Gizzy xx
     
  12. LouiseB

    LouiseB Well-Known Member

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    Oh, i've been there so many times now with my hubby - you'll be fine ;)
     
    #12 LouiseB, Jan 15, 2012
    Last edited: Jan 15, 2012
  13. Chazabell

    Chazabell Well-Known Member

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    I blew up at OH this afternoon because all he seemed to care about was bloody footballe, and he had'nt asked me how i was feeling - then i realised i was being pathetic and selfish, because he knows how im feeling, ive told him! Its just worrying over tests etc drives you crazy and you become irrational.

    It can be tiring, but these things are sent to try us i suppose xxxx
     
  14. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

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    Hey Gizzy yeah he's had problems with them for a long time only about 10 months ago it turned serious! The last 12-13 months have been nothing but bad for us so we are praying for good news from now on!!

    Well tonight has been lovely we had a yummy sunday roast and a lovely walk and hes also treated me to 2 powercuts and both times electrocuted himself! haha!

    Thanks for all yor support girls i know we will be just fine :) xxx
     
  15. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

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    Hiya Chaz hope your starting to feel much better now. I relly feel for you. I know what you mean about irrational - ive flown off the handle sooo many times this weekend!! xxx
     
  16. CARNAT22

    CARNAT22 Well-Known Member

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    I saw this thread over the weekend hun (but can't post on my stupid phone!)

    Firstly I hope you got a good nights sleep yesterday? :)

    All couples have their moments and TTC just puts extra stress on you both {not to mention your OH's eye problems}

    My OH is 95% amazing and 5% a plank when it comes to our TTC journey. I try to hold onto that fact that he is mostly amazing when he is driving me nuts LOL!

    We have had our share of rows - but we both know we're in this together and we have to put aside any negative thoughts as inevitably there will be negative thoughts.

    None of our family know we're TTC (or about our 2nd a 3rd miscarriage) and I have only told 2 friends, both of whom recently had babies and aren't all that available at present so my OH is my main outlet and sometimes it does get too much.

    I think it's natural for the stress to overspill into the occasional argument hun!

    I am glad you got it all sorted

    xxxxxxxxxx
     
  17. nicky1987

    nicky1987 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks hun, didnt get the best nights sleep last night but that was because ive had this fluey virus thats going round for over a week now!! Still suffering so my boss has given me tomorrow off to try and recover :) I'm on strict instructions not to get out of bed!

    Things with OH are back to being perfect and we've decided sod the diet tonight we are having pizza :) Back on it tomorrow tho!

    xxx
     

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