Sleep routines

[abcd1234]

is it worth trying to impose a sleep routine with Tally?

I'm happy for her to go to bed when she wants, usually around 10.30 but we spend everyday she isn't at the childminders in bed until at least 10am

now this is fine for now but i'm worried she's not going to have any idea of routine, my parents are always having a go if we take her out to a friends house on an evening but it never affects her sleeping. I also wonder about food and what it's teaching her, atm she has 1/2 meals a day, she always had dinner with us and sometimes i give her lunch too just so she gets the idea, but as we get up late we dont eat breakfast so neither does she, i dont wanna teach her this as i went through all of secondary school not eating breakfast and subsequently am the worlds worst snacker .

i havn't a clue what we'd do to try and get routine, i'm not willing to try controlled crying as she doesn't really cry for no reason, and wont go to sleep on her own, we've tried it

 

[Sherlock]

We used to lie in some days up until about 6 weeks ago. Not every day but when we didn't have to be somewhere in the morning and Galen would sometimes wake at 6am, feed and go back to sleep for a few of hours. It stuffed up my day (I felt like crap for falling back to sleep) and also his sleeping at night. Also I felt he was more content with a bit more of a pattern to waking each day and bed each evening at similar times.

So we now get up at whatever time he wakes in the morning so long as its after 7am. I want us to have breakfast as a family as I believe its important. If OH has to leave early its just Galen and myself. But we always sit and eat breakfast of some description. In the evening for tea its often Galen and myself only but if OH can be here early enough he is. On weekends we always make sure both OH and I eat our meals with Galen.

I was a child who had late nights due to my mother raising me on her own. I never ever want Galen to get into those ways and so strive for bedtime at 7pm. Children do need lots of sleep and I felt that we needed to do our best to ensure Galen slept well at night and then didn't lie in in the morning to make up for it. He chose the time himself a while back and we have tried to stick with it. Late to bed usually means lying in in the morning and I find it really messes the rhythm of the day up for all of us if we let LO lie in or we lie in with him.

FWIW we never ever use CC or anything close to it with Galen. Up till he was about 12 weeks old he would go to bed with us later on usually. Although he would actually go to sleep in his moses basket we would then transfer him to his cot when we went to bed. Sometimes though he would be awake till 9pm or later. Other times he'd go to sleep earlier then wake and not be tired till 1am. For all ours sakes we felt it better to adjust things slowly.

We just started bringing his bedtime slowly forward by 15 minutes, half an hour over a few weeks till we got to 8pm. Then one day he went at 7pm and has done ever since. He is tired by this time and ready for bed. He goes to his cot rather than staying down with us till we go to bed. Much better all round as he settles well and we get some time for us in the evening.

I'd suggest slowly bringing bedtime forward and starting to introduce nighttime sleeping in the bedroom and not leave her downstairs awake (or asleep) with you in the evening. Habits form young and in a few months time, maybe a year, you may find it really hard having an active child awake and playing till 10pm gone each night (I know a fair few parents over the years who tore their hair out with toddlers not going to bed till late each night). Also I don't think you are doing her any favours in the long run by not being a bit more consistent with sleeping patterns.

Our bodies need time to recharge and also to adjust to new sleep times and patterns. Otherwise we get knocked for six as the one morning we are up at 8am and then the next at 10am and so on. I think its confusing for adult bodies, so cannot imagine a child coping well in the long term.

 

[flowerpot]

When you say she doesn't go to sleep on her own you could get her to go to sleep on her own, its just at the moment she doesn't know how. If you get her into a good bedtime routine she should soon learn when its time to go to sleep. Charlie has a 20 mins routine of bath, story, some milk and then is put down to bed awake and goes off to sleep with no problems by 7pm. It took him about a week to learn to go to sleep by himself and I started the routine from about 3 months old although at that time he went to bed at 10pm and we've slowly brought it forward. Oh and it did involve some CC but not too much! Its really nice to have some time to myself on an evening and get to bed early. You would have to give up going to friends on an evening though. I have routines throughout the day like always having breakfast at 8am, lunch at about 1pmish and tea at 5.30pm which makes life easier for me. Maybe you could just introduce one thing at a time like always having lunch at the same time first and then slowly introduce more routine to your day. Hope that helps and good luck!

 

[Jollypops]

I started more a routine around 4.5/5 months with Calum and it seems to have worked ok for us and now we get to eat dinner in peace and i get to have a break in the evening which is nice. He now goes up to his room at 6pm where we have water tower light thing going in the corner to which we place him next to, relaxs there while i run a bath, get towels, hairdryer, change of clothes ready, then we strip him put him in the bath, have a play, wash, then out and back to the bedroom, dry him with the hairdryer, lotion him and get dressed, feed him on the chair and then place in cot between 6.45/7pm asleep and thats where he stays with no stiring until i feed at 11pm. I'm glad i started the routine and feels so much nicer and happier now as me and paul now get our own time together again