Single Mums General Support Thread

[Morganuk]

Hi ladies


I thort it would be helpful to be able to support each other with this thread, especially at this time of yr

Well Ill start,

I am a single mum but its a bit complicated.
Some may know my backround with babies dad??
Because of drug invovment ss have interveined and said we can not be together.
I am allowed with baby as I have done really well with the D issue to babys dad has not .

I was at my mums but moved back here as I needed my own space and hated where my mum lives due to very bad memories

Problem is I am all on my own with Jaeda with no friends and hoping babies dad will continue to stay clean (he has only just started )

I know many have said to forget him and walk away but I feel like I need to give him this one last chance and also I love him

Im dreading christmas as I ll be on my own, i could go to my mums but I wouldnt feel right as I would know babied dad would be on his own and being the sort of person I am I would feel so guilty.

So here I am wondering just what the hell is going to happen with my life, wondering if what I am doing is the right thing or not??

I feel down 5 days out of 7 and honestly just want to curl up and hide.
Only Jaeda keeps me going but even looking after her some days feels to much, then I feel guilty for thinking like that

I sit here and pray that by this time next yr my life will be a happy one.



Well enough about me,

How are you ladies coping

 

[mummykay]

aaaarw hun, does OH have to be checked first when hes clean so he can move back in with u? I hope its soon for u

I split with Jams dad in march, dated another idiot for a few mths then kicked him out lol, now im youngish, kinda free and very much single lol
i dont really miss bein in a relationship, yeah i miss the sex but thats about it - im doin so well for myself on other levels that Id get annoyed with a man interfering lol

 

[littlepip]

Well im 22 annnd ryan's dad left me when i was 8 months preggo's, he hasnt seen ryan in 4 months, i had a text from him a couple of weeks ago saying 'i miss him' so i said well you wanna see him then and he hasn't replied since

Its crap at xmas being on my own but me and ryan are gonna have a great time!

 

[nissa]

to you ladies x

Well I'm a single mum to Phoebe who is 7 and expecting number 2 in april. Phoebes dad and I split before I knew I was pregnant and he has never been involved in her life until recently when he got in touch asking to see her! It was a big shock but we'll see how it goes. They will be meeting at xmas for the first time.

The father of this baby is a whole other story....

I'm still in a bit of shock about it to be honest. I thought I had found a great guy who I loved but I guess you never know.....

This xmas we are going down to Sussex to be with my family so they should be enough to take my mind off this situation. Don't think I would have coped alone.

I'm glad I found this site though!

 

[claire_louise]

hey right umm here goes, i was dating babys dad march-may this year, he broke up with me,end of june we started seeing each other as friends to start with but then ended up sleeping together, in this time he apparently found out he couldnt have kids, he was gutted and we werent careful (im an idiot i know), i asked when we were going to go public (so to speak) about being back together, he replied 'im not ready for a relationship'. so he was really only after a quick f**k

he started seeing someone 10 days after telling me he didnt want a relationship (theyre still together)

then i found about flump, he told me to get rid, i told him to f off

he's made it clear he wants nothing to do with his daughter, which suits me better i think

 

[LaineyG]

I lived with my ex for 2 years, he was a control freak, green eyed monster who destroyed my confidence and bullied me for most of our relationship.

I got close to someone I work with who was also having problems in his marriage (we didn't even kiss, just sorta bonded IYKWIM....feelings were strong though). We spoke on a night out (a rare one without my ex spying on me!) and all my troubles just poured out. It was quite a shock to me to here myself saying the things I did!

I kinda brushed it all under the carpet, but I was beginning to think it might be better to leave. A few months later, on another night out, my pal said "Just do it, get out, you're worth a thousand of him". That was on the Saturday, on the Tuesday I walked out.

It was weird, and I can actually remember thinking as I was sitting telling him it wasn't working and that I needed some time, "I'd better turn on the tears here, just so he thinks I'm genuinely heart broken"!!!!!!

Anyway, I walked back into my Mum and Dad's that night and I honestly felt this huge weight lifting from me. I had a grin on my face! My Mum was so glad to have me home as she'd never liked him. My Dad wanted to pay him a visit with a few of his mates but that's dads for you!

So my life was on the up. I got stuck into work, and sociallising again. I still had the ex on my case using emotional blackmail to try and get me back but I'd found that strength from somewhere and I was determined!

Two weeks later I though "Hmmmmmm where is my AF??!?!" Did a test and it was negative, so I thought it was stress. A week later, no AF and another test and BBBBBBFFFFFFFPPPPPPP!

I knew the instant that I saw that blue + that I wanted my baby and I would go it alone.

I told my ex, who turned the emotional blackmail up to full blast, but it didn't work. I told my Mum and Dad who were amazing and told me that I shouldn't have to feel that I had to get back with the Ex, as they could support me emotionally and financially.

So here I am, I had a blip after Mhairi was born, when I was vunerable, when I let him back into my life. I was miserable, and seriously thought I had PND. I finally told him it was over and I've been on an up ever since!

I went for a night out in June, and was amazed to meet someone who was gorgeous, kind, funny, caring and who didn't even flinch when I told him I was a mum!

We're still together, although heading for a testing time at the moment......but I'm a great believer of if it's meant to be it will be, no matter what happens and what comes in the way!

That's my story, sorry it's so long well done if you got to here!

 

[Morganuk]

aaaarw hun, does OH have to be checked first when hes clean so he can move back in with u? I hope its soon for u

I split with Jams dad in march, dated another idiot for a few mths then kicked him out lol, now im youngish, kinda free and very much single lol
i dont really miss bein in a relationship, yeah i miss the sex but thats about it - im doin so well for myself on other levels that Id get annoyed with a man interfering lol

They say he has to tests and be clean before he can come home

I want him clean no matter what before he comes back but he does not need to stay away for physcriactric tests

Im really pleased your being positive hun,
If all fails with babies dad then I aim to be strong and independant like you

Well im 22 annnd ryan's dad left me when i was 8 months preggo's, he hasnt seen ryan in 4 months, i had a text from him a couple of weeks ago saying 'i miss him' so i said well you wanna see him then and he hasn't replied since

Its crap at xmas being on my own but me and ryan are gonna have a great time!


Well im 22 annnd ryan's dad left me when i was 8 months preggo's, he hasnt seen ryan in 4 months, i had a text from him a couple of weeks ago saying 'i miss him' so i said well you wanna see him then and he hasn't replied since

Its crap at xmas being on my own but me and ryan are gonna have a great time!

Aww hun


Cant believe he got in touch then dissapered again
They do not realise the affect it leaves on you and lil one (especially as lo gets older)
Whats are your plans if he gets in touch again???
I totally understand that crap feeling of being alone.
I just feel like my life is on a standstill and get sooo lonely.

Its great that your looking forward to Xmas.

I just cant get into it but I wish I could.

Are you seeing anyone else on Xmas day??

to you ladies x

Well I'm a single mum to Phoebe who is 7 and expecting number 2 in april. Phoebes dad and I split before I knew I was pregnant and he has never been involved in her life until recently when he got in touch asking to see her! It was a big shock but we'll see how it goes. They will be meeting at xmas for the first time.

The father of this baby is in a whole other league of scumbag though.... We were dating for 9 months when I had a lovely call from his WIFE on my birthday a few weeks ago..... He works up here 4 or 5 nights a week and would always be with me. I thought he went home to his lonely little flat but it turns out he was married with a child and a wife who is trying for another baby...

I'm still in a bit of shock about it to be honest. I thought I had found a great guy who loved but I guess you never know..... I can't believe that I didn't know what was going on. He says that when he met me he was getting ready to leave her so that's why he never said anything. I think he was just having his cake and eating it

He isn't going to be involved with this baby as his wife has forbidden it but he has been trying to contact me alot this week but I'm just not interested anymore.

This xmas we are going down to Sussex to be with my family so they should be enough to take my mind off this situation. Don't think I would have coped alone.

I'm glad I found this site though!

OMG hun

Im in shock and my heart goes out to you

This is one of the worst nightmares you never expect to happen to you and you must be in total shock.
Hun have you got family/friend support??
His wife must be fuming and if I was her I would of kicked him out as ALL the trust has gone.
Hun I know it may sound hard but you WILL get through this and it WILL make you a stronger person.
I get so down most days but theres always this voice in my head that says it WILL be ok, you will see light at the end of this dark tunnel even thou it feels a million miles away.
Will your family help you with baby??
Hun please PM me anytime you need to get this off your chest, or anything thing for that matter (applies to everyone on here too)

Yes this forum is a blessing for me as it helps me get through my day when im really low or just need to ocupy my mind.
There a lovely bunch of no judgmental people.

Please keep posting hun as its always better out then in

hey right umm here goes, i was dating babys dad march-may this year, he broke up with me,end of june we started seeing each other as friends to start with but then ended up sleeping together, in this time he apparently found out he couldnt have kids, he was gutted and we werent careful (im an idiot i know), i asked when we were going to go public (so to speak) about being back together, he replied 'im not ready for a relationship'. so he was really only after a quick f**k

he started seeing someone 10 days after telling me he didnt want a relationship (theyre still together)

then i found about flump, he told me to get rid, i told him to f off

he's made it clear he wants nothing to do with his daughter, which suits me better i think

ARRRRR WHY THE HELL DO MEN THINK THEY CAN RUN AWAY FROM THERE RESPONSIBILITYS

Hun I cant imagine what that must feel like but i,d want to kill him I be so angry.
On the other hand hes proberly done u a favor as he is clearly an immature fool.
You can do this by yourself hun
Are you looking to do a DNA when baby arrives

Keep strong hun

I lived with my ex for 2 years, he was a control freak, green eyed monster who destroyed my confidence and bullied me for most of our relationship.

I got close to someone I work with who was also having problems in his marriage (we didn't even kiss, just sorta bonded IYKWIM....feelings were strong though). We spoke on a night out (a rare one without my ex spying on me!) and all my troubles just poured out. It was quite a shock to me to here myself saying the things I did!

I kinda brushed it all under the carpet, but I was beginning to think it might be better to leave. A few months later, on another night out, my pal said "Just do it, get out, you're worth a thousand of him". That was on the Saturday, on the Tuesday I walked out.

It was weird, and I can actually remember thinking as I was sitting telling him it wasn't working and that I needed some time, "I'd better turn on the tears here, just so he thinks I'm genuinely heart broken"!!!!!!

Anyway, I walked back into my Mum and Dad's that night and I honestly felt this huge weight lifting from me. I had a grin on my face! My Mum was so glad to have me home as she'd never liked him. My Dad wanted to pay him a visit with a few of his mates but that's dads for you!

So my life was on the up. I got stuck into work, and sociallising again. I still had the ex on my case using emotional blackmail to try and get me back but I'd found that strength from somewhere and I was determined!

Two weeks later I though "Hmmmmmm where is my AF??!?!" Did a test and it was negative, so I thought it was stress. A week later, no AF and another test and BBBBBBFFFFFFFPPPPPPP!

I knew the instant that I saw that blue + that I wanted my baby and I would go it alone.

I told my ex, who turned the emotional blackmail up to full blast, but it didn't work. I told my Mum and Dad who were amazing and told me that I shouldn't have to feel that I had to get back with the Ex, as they could support me emotionally and financially.

So here I am, I had a blip after Mhairi was born, when I was vunerable, when I let him back into my life. I was miserable, and seriously thought I had PND. I finally told him it was over and I've been on an up ever since!

I went for a night out in June, and was amazed to meet someone who was gorgeous, kind, funny, caring and who didn't even flinch when I told him I was a mum!

We're still together, although heading for a testing time at the moment......but I'm a great believer of if it's meant to be it will be, no matter what happens and what comes in the way!

That's my story, sorry it's so long well done if you got to here!

Awww hun its great to hear a positive outcome to a hard past
Im so glad that you seen your worth and are now having a great life
Your story give me hope as even if things donr go right for me, theres always the future to look to.

 

[mummykay]

Lainey - i remember ur thread about ur first date - pls pls pls pls print that out and show ur babies when ur married and makin bootyful babies!!

 

[Morganuk]

Lainey - i remember ur thread about ur first date - pls pls pls pls print that out and show ur babies when ur married and makin bootyful babies!!

Oh I want to see it.

Have you got the link Kay??

 

[LaineyG]

Lainey - i remember ur thread about ur first date - pls pls pls pls print that out and show ur babies when ur married and makin bootyful babies!!

Oh I want to see it.

Have you got the link Kay??

OMG I forgot about that thread!!! Now I know why I didn't take him to the Glasgow meet.....you lot know wayyyyy toooooo much about him!


Think this might work Morgan!
http://www.pregnancyforum.co.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=66&t=79694

 

[mummykay]

Its soooooooo gd - write it into a novel and get it made into a movie!!!

 

[littlepip]

Well im 22 annnd ryan's dad left me when i was 8 months preggo's, he hasnt seen ryan in 4 months, i had a text from him a couple of weeks ago saying 'i miss him' so i said well you wanna see him then and he hasn't replied since

Its crap at xmas being on my own but me and ryan are gonna have a great time!


Well im 22 annnd ryan's dad left me when i was 8 months preggo's, he hasnt seen ryan in 4 months, i had a text from him a couple of weeks ago saying 'i miss him' so i said well you wanna see him then and he hasn't replied since

Its crap at xmas being on my own but me and ryan are gonna have a great time!

Aww hun


Cant believe he got in touch then dissapered again
They do not realise the affect it leaves on you and lil one (especially as lo gets older)
Whats are your plans if he gets in touch again???
I totally understand that crap feeling of being alone.
I just feel like my life is on a standstill and get sooo lonely.

Its great that your looking forward to Xmas.

I just cant get into it but I wish I could.

Are you seeing anyone else on Xmas day??[/quote]

I dunno what im gonna do if he gets in touch again. I soo know that if he asks to come over i will be like oh sure! but i dont want to be like that!! After all the stuff hes said to me like he wishes i was dead cos he hates me that much he should at least apologise!!! grr!!!

Im going to my mum's on xmas day all my 3 sisters will be there with there partners! how fun! lol

I hope jaeda's dad stays clean and you can be together again

 

[Sammystar]

to all the single mums.

My tale is epic, and worthy of a book (which I have already been asked to write ) so I'll keep it short.

I was wife number three. Wife number one was left to bring up three kids by herself ( I was told she was a complete bitch who refused to let him see the kids - seriously doubt that's true now!)
Wife number two, well let's not even go there. Poor woman didn't live to tell the tale

Then there was me. Wifey number three. He was my older guy, seemed wiser, experienced, talked a very good talk. I was smitten

Cracks started to appear very early on now I look back (don't you just love hindsight?). I was being lied to from the start. Tales about his past, his 'business', everything. It was all a sham.
I stuck with him for six years, and three babies. Until late last year when I discovered I'd been replaced with a new 'soul mate' who was thirty years younger than him. He took money which my mum had given me to feed our kids, and spent it on a luxury hotel in London to entertain his slapper. Nice guy, huh?

So, I left him. And since then things went from bad to worse. He had run up massive debts (mostly in my name as I allowed him to use my name for his company). Failed to pay taxes, insurance, car, lawyer, accountant, you name it. Left me with one hell of a mess to clear up, and three LO's to look after.

He claims to be a doting Dad, but he goes weeks on end with no contact. Right now it's pretty tough as the kids are so confused and I find it difficult to bite my tongue about him (which I do, but boy it's hard work!)

I'm slowly picking up the pieces. Getting our lives back on track. I'm looking forward to 2009, when I will go back to work and put that LOSER behind me once and for all.

I am dreading Christmas though, it's going to be tough, but I'm focusing on the kids........

 

[Morganuk]

to all the single mums.

My tale is epic, and worthy of a book (which I have already been asked to write ) so I'll keep it short.

I was wife number three. Wife number one was left to bring up three kids by herself ( I was told she was a complete bitch who refused to let him see the kids - seriously doubt that's true now!)
Wife number two, well let's not even go there. Poor woman didn't live to tell the tale

Then there was me. Wifey number three. He was my older guy, seemed wiser, experienced, talked a very good talk. I was smitten

Cracks started to appear very early on now I look back (don't you just love hindsight?). I was being lied to from the start. Tales about his past, his 'business', everything. It was all a sham.
I stuck with him for six years, and three babies. Until late last year when I discovered I'd been replaced with a new 'soul mate' who was thirty years younger than him. He took money which my mum had given me to feed our kids, and spent it on a luxury hotel in London to entertain his slapper. Nice guy, huh?

So, I left him. And since then things went from bad to worse. He had run up massive debts (mostly in my name as I allowed him to use my name for his company). Failed to pay taxes, insurance, car, lawyer, accountant, you name it. Left me with one hell of a mess to clear up, and three LO's to look after.

He claims to be a doting Dad, but he goes weeks on end with no contact. Right now it's pretty tough as the kids are so confused and I find it difficult to bite my tongue about him (which I do, but boy it's hard work!)

I'm slowly picking up the pieces. Getting our lives back on track. I'm looking forward to 2009, when I will go back to work and put that LOSER behind me once and for all.

I am dreading Christmas though, it's going to be tough, but I'm focusing on the kids........

Bloody hell

Its amazing just how many assholes there are out there.
Yes its alla bout 09 for me,
Im determined to put everything right that has gone so badly wrong in my life.
Xmas is hard for a few this yr hun
At least you can now start to move on from everything

 

[Steelgoddess]

Big up all the single Mums! Although I am not one I really admire Mummys that go it alone and think you do such an amazing job you are super Mummys! My OH's Mummy was a single mum his dad walked out when they were nippers and she raised them so well!!

xx

 

[Sammystar]

to all the single mums.

My tale is epic, and worthy of a book (which I have already been asked to write ) so I'll keep it short.

I was wife number three. Wife number one was left to bring up three kids by herself ( I was told she was a complete bitch who refused to let him see the kids - seriously doubt that's true now!)
Wife number two, well let's not even go there. Poor woman didn't live to tell the tale

Then there was me. Wifey number three. He was my older guy, seemed wiser, experienced, talked a very good talk. I was smitten

Cracks started to appear very early on now I look back (don't you just love hindsight?). I was being lied to from the start. Tales about his past, his 'business', everything. It was all a sham.
I stuck with him for six years, and three babies. Until late last year when I discovered I'd been replaced with a new 'soul mate' who was thirty years younger than him. He took money which my mum had given me to feed our kids, and spent it on a luxury hotel in London to entertain his slapper. Nice guy, huh?

So, I left him. And since then things went from bad to worse. He had run up massive debts (mostly in my name as I allowed him to use my name for his company). Failed to pay taxes, insurance, car, lawyer, accountant, you name it. Left me with one hell of a mess to clear up, and three LO's to look after.

He claims to be a doting Dad, but he goes weeks on end with no contact. Right now it's pretty tough as the kids are so confused and I find it difficult to bite my tongue about him (which I do, but boy it's hard work!)

I'm slowly picking up the pieces. Getting our lives back on track. I'm looking forward to 2009, when I will go back to work and put that LOSER behind me once and for all.

I am dreading Christmas though, it's going to be tough, but I'm focusing on the kids........

Bloody hell

Its amazing just how many assholes there are out there.
Yes its alla bout 09 for me,
Im determined to put everything right that has gone so badly wrong in my life.
Xmas is hard for a few this yr hun
At least you can now start to move on from everything

I'll be raising a glass this New Years Eve and thinking about all of us and how 09 will be THE year for us!

 

[claire_louise]

hey right umm here goes, i was dating babys dad march-may this year, he broke up with me,end of june we started seeing each other as friends to start with but then ended up sleeping together, in this time he apparently found out he couldnt have kids, he was gutted and we werent careful (im an idiot i know), i asked when we were going to go public (so to speak) about being back together, he replied 'im not ready for a relationship'. so he was really only after a quick f**k

he started seeing someone 10 days after telling me he didnt want a relationship (theyre still together)

then i found about flump, he told me to get rid, i told him to f off

he's made it clear he wants nothing to do with his daughter, which suits me better i think

ARRRRR WHY THE HELL DO MEN THINK THEY CAN RUN AWAY FROM THERE RESPONSIBILITYS

Hun I cant imagine what that must feel like but i,d want to kill him I be so angry.
On the other hand hes proberly done u a favor as he is clearly an immature fool.
You can do this by yourself hun
Are you looking to do a DNA when baby arrives

Keep strong hun

he has said and im roughly quoting 'i'll pay for a dna test, i know i have to pay for this mistake'

to which i replied ... 'pay for as many as you like i've got a clear conscious'

deep deep down i do know im better off, and compared to what most of the girlies in here have been through ive got off lightly. i just hate him for wanting to hide his little girl from people, when i think (from the scan pics) she's the most amazing thing ever

 

[Sammystar]

He's the one missing out in the long run hun. What a pratt!

 

[Morganuk]

[quote="claire_louise":6io3gncx]hey right umm here goes, i was dating babys dad march-may this year, he broke up with me,end of june we started seeing each other as friends to start with but then ended up sleeping together, in this time he apparently found out he couldnt have kids, he was gutted and we werent careful (im an idiot i know), i asked when we were going to go public (so to speak) about being back together, he replied 'im not ready for a relationship'. so he was really only after a quick f**k

he started seeing someone 10 days after telling me he didnt want a relationship (theyre still together)

then i found about flump, he told me to get rid, i told him to f off

he's made it clear he wants nothing to do with his daughter, which suits me better i think

ARRRRR WHY THE HELL DO MEN THINK THEY CAN RUN AWAY FROM THERE RESPONSIBILITYS

Hun I cant imagine what that must feel like but i,d want to kill him I be so angry.
On the other hand hes proberly done u a favor as he is clearly an immature fool.
You can do this by yourself hun
Are you looking to do a DNA when baby arrives

Keep strong hun

he has said and im roughly quoting 'i'll pay for a dna test, i know i have to pay for this mistake'

to which i replied ... 'pay for as many as you like i've got a clear conscious'

deep deep down i do know im better off, and compared to what most of the girlies in here have been through ive got off lightly. i just hate him for wanting to hide his little girl from people, when i think (from the scan pics) she's the most amazing thing ever[/quote:6io3gncx]


Hun as sammystar says its his loss.
Wonder what hes going to say when its comes back that she is his
God im angry for you hun as how dare he.
But you know what sweetie, you will come out the better and much stronger person with the most precious gift ever.

 

[claire_louise]

Hun as sammystar says its his loss.
Wonder what hes going to say when its comes back that she is his
God im angry for you hun as how dare he.
But you know what sweetie, you will come out the better and much stronger person with the most precious gift ever.

he prob wont say much, he made it clear 'lets get this straight i (him) want nothing to do with it, and my name WONT be on its birth certificate' i deleted those texts the other day but i can remember them word for word they hurt that much

i know i'll come out better in the end. he just makes me so angry, he cares more about his 18 yr old chavs**g girlfriend (my mates name for her) then his own daughter. in fact i dont even know if he knows he has a daughter i gave up keeping him in formed